The Let's Play Archive

Lure of the Temptress

by ProfessorClumsy

Part 11: Say Goodbye to Turnvale

Chapter 11: Say Goodbye to Turnvale

Last time, we engaged in a superfluous combat sequence and met a dragon who gave us a rock and fell asleep. Thanks, draggie!

Now that we're reunited with Ratpouch, let's see what he's been up to.

Diermot: I've talked to the Dragon!

Ratpouch: You were lucky it didn't eat you up, sir. In all the stories I've heard dragons are miserable, nasty and dangerous! Are you sure it was a real dragon?

Diermot: What else has scales, a long tail and wings, Ratty?

Diermot: Will you help me get into the Castle?

Ratpouch: I think there is something you ought to know, sir.

Diermot: What's that, Ratty?

Diermot: I'm astounded, Ratty. I hope you'll be very happy. Who is this... special person?

Diermot: I don't know what to say. I wish you all the happiness in the world.

Ratpouch: Thank you, sir. I'll never understand why there's so little of it to go around!

I guess this is goodbye then, Ratpouch. This is a touching moment for me, maybe I'm just overly fond of our Ratty.

Speaking of people I'm fond of, there's something that's been bugging me about Ultar...

Diermot: How did you turn the skulls without any help?

And somehow this is the most satisfactory answer I could have hoped for. Ultar, you magnificent bastard!

Diermot: Will you help me get into the Castle?

Ultar: I go home soon. Too busy packing! Don't worry, you kill Selena easy!

Diermot: I wish I had your confidence!

What I did on holiday, by Ultar! First, I get drunk. Then I dress as woman. Then I turn brain-boxes, make door go up and down. Then I fight devil-pig-man, but too drunk. Him beat Ultar. Then I get more drunk.

Edwina can definitely be trusted, so let's tell her all about our plans.

Edwina: Well, I'm not sure if it would work for, but I usually hang about the castle gate when the Skorl patrol go off duty.

Diermot: Oh. Perhaps I'd better try another way.

That's.... questionable at best.

And here's Luthern, let's see if Gereint has learned anything from his little chat with "Selena".

Gereint: The usual, Luthern? How's your mother today?

Luthern: Not so bright, I'm afraid. She thinks I'm at school today!

Holy shit! He changed his ways! He even stopped watering down his beer. Doesn't it just make you feel all warm inside?

Goewin mas certain that he'd know of some way in. So we're definitely getting somewhere now.

That's it? That's your advice? I knew you were worthless, Luthern. Good riddance to you.

We might as well have one last drink before we head off. Maybe the newly reformed Gereint will be more inclined to help us?

Diermot: A jug of your finest ale, if you please, landlord.

Gereint: That's one groat.

Diermot: Will you help me get into the Castle?

Fuck you, Gereint!

Let's get out of here. Say goodbye to the Severed Arms, guys.

Maybe Gwyn has heard some worthwhile gossip about how to get into the castle?

Diermot: Will you help get into the Castle?

Gwyn: What are you up to now? You can't go rushing in there! The place is full of Skorl. The only humans in there, apart from Selena, are the children she uses as slaves!

Gwyn: Poor lad! To have a father like Morkus was bad enough, but now he's been snatched from the bosom of his family, another victim of the Turnvale Tyrant!

That's a pretty big bombshell. Although Morkus did admit earlier to trading a boy for tax exemption. Turns out it was his own son. Shame on you, Morkus.

Everybody loves Ewan, right?

Ewan: I admire ambition in one so lowly born! I could help you improve your manners and social graces...

Diermot: That's not what I had in mind.

Diermot: Give me strength...

Sounds like Diermot is sick of Ewan's bumbling weirdness. We haven't seen the last of him just yet though!

And what of Catriona? Luthern's ailing mother, who told Ratpouch about her Cowbane (Although, she didn't actually say we could take it).

Diermot: Will you help me get into the Castle?

Catriona: If you wait till you're my age you'll get a senior citizen's concession pass, issued by the Turnvale Council. I don't get much use out of mine, but they're a Very Good Idea, all the same!

Diermot: What can you tell me about Selena?

Catriona: I don't trust those modern processed foods.

Diermot: It's not a food - it's a woman's name.

Let's try one of the more useful characters. Grub has been helpful in the past, surely he can help us now?

Diermot: Will you help me get into the Castle?

Mystic powers? I think maybe Grub has passed his prime.

Morkus must want his son to be freed from the hands of Selena and the Skorl, surely?

Diermot: Will you help me get into the Castle?

Morkus: I can't, but I hope you find a way in, because I hate you. I don't know why, but the minute I set eyes on you I hated you. Who are you anyway?

Diermot: I am the voice of your conscience, Morkus.

Morkus: You can't be. I ain't got one!

Diermot: I am Diermot and I plan to overthrow the Skorl.

Morkus: Now that explains it! I've always hated self appointed revolutionaries.

Diermot: You'r bigotry is exceeded only by your grossness.

Morkus: Hah!

That makes Morkus the only person in Turnvale who knows Diermot's name.

Diermot: What can you tell me about Selena?

Diermot: Did she have mystic powers, then?

Morkus: Nah. It used to happen all the time when I was younger.

Thanks for being creepy, Morkus. I won't forget that in a hurry.

As Ratpouch's new employer, I think Nellie might feel obliged to assist us.

Nellie: You don't want to go there, sir! It's no place for a gentleman. Come to that, neither is the Magpie!

So that's why you hired Ratpouch. I see...

Now here is a man who has proven to be extremely useful. Without him, we wouldn't even have any money to drink with.

Mallin: You're joking, surely? That's the last place I'd want to visit! But I'll give you some advice!

Diermot: What is that?

Now that is useful information. Once again, Mallin has proved his worth.

So the Skorl patrolman is acting suspiciously? Looks like we may need to follow him and see what he gets up to.

First though, we should check in with Goewin...

Diermot: Will you help me get into the Castle?

Diermot: Do you mean... you care for me?

Goewin: Of course I do, you idiot! If you hoped for a romantic scene then you're talking to the wrong woman.

Diermot: I... I don't know what to say.

Wow, I was not expecting that. That's a pretty surprising development. A little bit of flirting in a dank cave and suddenly she's in love!

Looks like this game is going to have a happy ending... unless you're Luthern obviously.

Let's get to following that Skorl then. We should start by going somewhere we absolutely know he will go. The Magpie!

Nellie: I'm out of squirrels, I'm afraid. I've got some nice baked potatoes...

Skorl: Ugh! Skorl don't eat vegetable! Nasty, mushy things.

Skorl: Not for long. Tonight we're staying in. There's boy pie for dinner!

Nellie is understandably lost for words. The Skorl are going to eat Minnow tonight, so I'd better get a wriggle on.

Hmmm... This is new. The Skorl has gone into Ewan's shop. We should watch through the window and see what we can learn.

Ewan: That's the fourth this week! What are the rest of us supposed to eat?

Skorl: We need food. If not potatoes, then man-flesh. Skorl must be fed.

Ewan: We have to eat too, you know. Life goes on, despite Selena and you Skorl. We're all hungry. This was a happy, thriving community before you came along!

Skorl: All that will change!

Ewan: What do you mean?

Ewan: I don't see how I can help you.

A mounting excitement grips you as you ponder the conversation you have overheard. You realise that this could be your chance to infiltrate the castle.

This is huge! The Skorl's name is Wayne!?

Looks like he's got a pretty good plan though, but with one major flaw. Why he chose Ewan to go into the castle to kill Selena is beyond me, that simpleminded oaf wouldn't last ten seconds. Besides, I've got the Eye of Gethryn for just this very purpose.

Maybe we should have a word with Wayne about this?

Now that we know his name, Wayne will talk to us.

Diermot: I have heard your plans, Skorl.

Wayne: That's a shame. Now I'll have to kill you!

Diermot: No, stop! I want to help!

Wayne: What help would you be?

Diermot: More than that silly shopkeeper!

Wayne: Keep talking.

Diermot: I slew the fearsome Pig-man!

Wayne: But could you kill Selena?

Wayne: Why should I trust you?

Diermot: I've got a likeable personality.

Diermot: Without me you may never get rid of Selena.

Wayne's good people really. He's okay with us taking Ewan's place in the barrel and he even seems to like Diermot.

That just leaves one thing to do; tell Ewan about the change of plan.

Ewan: I don't understand.

Diermot: I overheard your conversation with the Skorl.

Ewan: So I don't have to enter the Castle?

Diermot: No.

Ewan: And I don't have to face Selena?

Diermot: No.

It's on!

And that's it for Turnvale. We just need to storm the Castle now.

Wayne hoists the barrel onto his shoulders with ease...

...strides smugly through the cobbled streets...

...opens the castle gate...

...and deposits us, not-so-gently, into the Castle's well-stocked and well-used wine cellar.

Which is where we now find ourselves.

Next time: the finale!