The Let's Play Archive


by Blarghalt

Part 3: You Darn Ferrets Nowadays With Your Tablets and Pokemons and Butt Piercings And

So what, did Rabies pass out while we watched that little shitshow?

Well, I guess this is it, huh? I kind of pictured a grander entrance. But there's really nobody here. Oh well -- I should have expected less. That way you don't get disappointed. It's better than getting your hopes up.

(That was sure an odd way of looking at things. Of course, nothing about Kila was normal.)

Hey, pull out your phone! We should exchange numbers -- just in case! I know you really don't like Maid Cafes. But I can tell you so much about Tokyo! I read about this place online for weeks! There's a lot of stuff to do here! I'm sure we can come to some middle ground.

We exchange contact information with Kila. Here's something fun to know: this never comes up again in the entire game. We get the numbers of a few more people as the game progresses, but there is not one instance where they call us or we call them.

Kila we are not friends. In fact I'm going into the bathroom right now to swear a fucking blood feud on you.

And here's some weird 'them darn kids with their textin'! ' out of nowhere.

I wonder where I'm supposed to go. Rook never gave me detailed information. I expected he'd be right there when I got off. But I don't see anyone at all, actually.

I quickly turn a corner and bump into a helpless woman.

Meet one of the female characters in this game. Of course, her art makes it look like she just got dipped in baby oil even though she has fur.

I step back and immediately apologize. I tell her I was just looking for my friend, Rook. I explain the fact that I'm a foreigner and--

Here's something to consider: I have no way of knowing this. How would you show ethnicity in a furry?

Thanks, lady I think is a wolf or something.

I thank her and start to follow her direction. But before I can get too far, a hand grips my shoulder. Oh no -- could it be that man again...? Please just give me -some- peace and quiet today...?

Don't worry, I fully realize making this LP was hazardous to my health!

Goddamnit it he has glowing tattoos can this game do one thing that isn't furry as fuck

I'm extremely relieved. For a moment I thought it might've been that man again. But no. This must be Rook.

What does he mean "talking to myself"?

If you feel like pushing Rook onto the tracks, that's a normal response.

We're on a strict schedule. S-T-R-I-C-T!

Dear God, I'm actually starting to miss Kila.

So, where's the other one?

I was confused. I wasn't quite sure what he meant. I ask him for clarification.

The other contest winner, I mean. You were supposed to be together.


Ugh...Insufferable...! I hate being lied to. Drop the act. Seriously, -- where is he?

I tell him I have no idea what he's talking about. I didn't meet anybody on the train except for Kila. Wait -- could that mean...? No way!

Out of the shadows, someone shuffles towards us.

Well, so much for getting rid of Kila.

You were watching us...? That's exceedingly creepy.

What a group. We have ourselves a stalker? And someone who talks to themselves, too.

I really don't get what that means. I was clearly getting directions from that woman.

I wasn't watching you -- I was just shy! And hold on a second!

-You're- the other contest winner!?

He really emphasizes the word -you're-. I'm unsure if I should take offense to this or not. Although now I'm glad I didn't break the NDA. Rook would've found out for sure.

Both probably took online quizzes to find out what flavor pocky they were.

Heh. Well, either way...I have to say, I'm really glad it's you. I feel like we got along on the train. Even if it was only for a few minutes.

Oh joy!

Maybe I should go to a maid cafe. I've always wanted to see if there's a way to destroy my self-respect in one sitting.

I hope Kila got stuffed into every trash in every grade.

Gosh, you're so crass!

Rook types away on his tablet. Is he looking up the definition of that word?

I am definitely not crass! I apologize if I came off that way.

No seriously, what? Rook had to look up the definition of crass?

Regardless; you two couldn't agree on where to go. So if you'll let me -- I'll handle this.

Allow me to invoke the rule of Rook! It always cuts through indecision...!

It sounds terrifying, though.

The rule of Rook...? Are you pulling our legs?

Hear me out. You can't decide where to go. And to top it off -- you're new around here. I, however, have a vast knowledge of Tokyo. I can figure out the perfect place to go.

Besides, there's been a bit of a delay. You won't be meeting Klace for a day or two. I'm tasked with helping you waste time.

I guess that makes sense. What do you think?

(I nod. I do think the "rule" needs a new name, though.)

Well, where are you going to take us?

That will have to come as a surprise. But it -will- be in Electric Town.

Electric town!? You don't mean...?

This really is how Klace sees Japan. We could go anywhere in Tokyo but nope, our first stop is in Otaku Hell.

Wow! We'll get along great, then! But what about this delay you mentioned? Is everything okay? It sounds bad...

Oh, it's fine. Klace got into a fight. Him and his tour manager disagree a -lot-. But Singe always manages to quell him.

Oh. I hope it's nothing too serious.

It'll be fine. Klace is a hot-head. He'll be fine after venting and relaxing. We've all come to expect it, at least.

Can we ditch Kila too?

Jesus Christ this writing is bad. Why wouldn't you just say 'take a deep breath'?

Love that minty-fresh stock background image smell!

It's the smell of you getting the fuck away from me.

No he doesn't.

For God's sake, we could be visiting the Tokyo Imperial Palace but you two wanna screw around and shop for bodypillows?

What was the point of bringing this up? Holy shit, we were on the same plane! How is that information relevant at all to the story?

Enter Rook, the social assassin. Blurting out the things we don't dare to.

I didn't think of it that way, I guess.

He looks defeated. See - that's why I refrained.

Well, we shouldn't stand around. We didn't leave just to waste time out here. I've got a little bit of a surprise for you.

Remember how we said things would be quiet? Well -- Klace went and pulled some strings. The kind of strings that get you a limo.

We have a limo...? Like -- just for us?

Heh...That was a pleasant surprise, actually. Rook gives us a soft smile as he says the word limo. I can tell he's been waiting to let out that secret.

Yeah -- something like that. We'll use it to move you around town. At least until we leave Tokyo behind.

But even then, we'll just rent a new one. This tour is going all sorts of places. You'll get to travel the world in style.

Right over there Kila just turn around and put on this black mask and NOW ROOK HIT HIM WITH STICKS

It's gonna be an increasingly common thing for this game to say it's gonna do something and then go back on it within paragraphs.

I just like how this sentence is worded like a damn disembodied face just floated into the area.

This is redrawn porn. You will never convince me otherwise.

Damn Kila, leave some sass for the rest of us.

She was probably expecting two glittering wolves with angel wings or something.

What is going on with her hands? It looks like they should be broken trying to hold those folders.

The contest just had a year of hype...I built up this weird image in my mind. Expected the winners to be larger than life.

I apologize if I offended you in any way. Surely you can understand what I meant...We often have these sort of preconceptions.

I suppose I know what you mean. No offense taken, either. It's nice to meet you too! But speaking of preconceptions...Can you tell us a little bit about Klace? I feel like the image in my mind is "wrong". You've met him, right? You must have all kinds of inside knowledge.

I see him all the time. But yeah -- many people get him wrong. Here's a few words I'd use to describe him:

Self-absorbed. Egotistical. Holier-than-thou. Arrogant. Disrespectful. He's the worst.

Excuse me?

It was a joke, Kila. I'm still learning this humor thing. But I guess I have a few more steps to go.

That was her definition of a joke...? She doesn't need steps -- she needs leaps and bounds! This is almost certainly how rumors are started. Someone won't know she's joking -- and it'll spread.

Rook tries to teach me in our off time...But I guess I've far from mastered it.

Klace sure knows how to pick managers, huh?

Well, I'd appreciate an honest answer...

What if God was one of us?

Cleaned his fursuit like one of us?

That's why you should always just send Gary Busey to substitute for any job interviews you might have.

I think you'll get along with him just fine. But I don't think you know him yet, either. The amount of people that do is very small.

Alright! Thanks for answering. Sounds like he's under lots of pressure. It'd suck to have an image to maintain.

And -- about the humor thing? You're doing great! Keep learning!

(Whoa. Kila can lie?)

Thanks Kila -- it's always fun to learn. Anyway, let's get ourselves in the limo. We'll get this adventure started.

Cooped up in a small space with Kila! That'll be fun!