The Let's Play Archive


by Blarghalt

Part 26: Heaven Needed a Bad Guitarist

Hey Singe, Acheron wanted to know if he thought your crazy plan to keep everyone hostage in the building was actually crazy.

Did he try to convince you to watch Bible Black or something?

Trust me Kila, you're a lost cause when it comes to education.

You flatter me, Kila. But please -- have a seat. There is much to discuss.

I do as instructed and sit beside Kila. I expected the atmosphere in the room to be happy. But for some reason, I feel a sense of dread. Singe also looks like he's at his wit's end.

At the press conference, he seemed so calm and carefree. But that must've been an act -- for the public. I have to wonder, is this how he truly feels?

I wanted to start by thanking you both. Your dedication has been unmatched. The contest was a massive success.


To that end, I have a present for you. I wanted to give it to you much earlier. Just give me a moment to get them, alright?

Singe reaches under his desk for a few moments. He opens and closes drawers, looking for something. After a few moments, he smiles and lets out a sigh. Almost like he was afraid he lost them for a moment.

Singe finds a lot of things silly. Underwear, for example.

So I decided to have some replicas made. Something you could keep as a souvenir. They are exactly the same as you knew.

Yes -- I am a man of sentiment. The contest clearly meant a lot to you. So I thought this would be a nice gift.

He places two cans of PopStarr on his desk. Me and Kila exchange glaces with one another.

Wow Singe, that is really awesome! I was sad I had to give mine away. But now everything is A-OK!

Kila happily grabs his can and places it in his pocket. This sure was interesting -- I didn't expect it. The can on the desk reminds me of those simpler times. It was an exact replica of the one that got me here.

You know, the most recent update of this game claims it fixed all the remaining typos and such. I don't know why I expected that to be true.

Still, so I don't seem rude -- I accept the offering. I rest it in my lap, noticing that it's full. I'm assuming Singe wants it to stay that way.

I had to guard over these cans with my life. I didn't want them to get stolen, or leaked.

Rabies can't wait to use this as a skeet shooting target!

A lot has happened since we arrived here. And especially -- since you two arrived.

I am sorry that is [sic] has come to this, but: I have arranged for transportation. Tomorrow you will both be taken home. I'm afraid the contest is cancelled.

"And Kila, you've been permanently barred from entering this country again."


Why can't you just let Kila's part of the world tour continue in North Korea or something?

You two are exempt from my previous rule. Of having to stay inside the building. You're both free -- but that's not all.

You'll be receiving compensation, of course. We had a lot of money aside for you two. Instead, we'll just be giving it to you.

Rabies is rich! He'll finally be able to open up that Power Crystal-themed Holy Maiden Cafe he's always wanted!


Your flight home will be tomorrow. I hope that we can be mature, here. Will you agree to these terms?

I will.

I nod in acceptance -- I can't exactly say no. But I knew I was still needed in Terra. So I'd have to play the rest of this by ear.

With that said, I have one last gift.

Singe reaches into his pocket and pulls out two cards. interesting -- they appear to be credit cards.

There's one for each of you. They have a few thousand dollars on them. It will help until you cash the cheque.

This is my own personal money, too. Another gift -- directly from me.

Question: what the hell is Rabies supposed to spend this on? He's currently locked in an empty convention center. Does Singe just plan on Rabies emptying out every vending machine in the building?


Kila grabs one of the cards and puts it in his pocket. I follow suit and do the same thing -- this is eerie. It's almost like this wasn't happening, it was surreal.

The end of an era, it feels like. Everything we both wanted -- taken away from us. But I can't give up, there's still lots to solve.

Just then, Singe's phone rings. He puts a finger up, ordering us to wait a moment.

I wonder what Singe's last name is. I know what Rook's last name is because one of Klace's friends (or even Klace himself) posted a Steam review of this game in-character as Rook, with his full name listed as Rook T. Overferret.

I see, are you certain?

I understand. Please call for help.

Singe hangs up his phone. He slumps down in his chair with a huge sigh.

What happened -- who was that?

I'm afraid I have some bad news. A corpse was found on the premises. In the backstage area, to be precise.

Are you serious!?

Singe places both hands over his face. He continues to speak, but it's muffled. It's unclear what emotion is worn underneath.

Well, Max is certainly getting to work, isn't she?

I don't know if it's better or worse than we have these little intros to each scene. They give a tiny amount of coherence to each part, but also kind of accent just how terrible this game is at not sticking to a single plot thread.

You'd think a literal god of death would be able to have better clothes.

Hey look, it's our resident bomb dissident!

It might be hard to find a way in. The tour already has a guard, you know.

It shouldn't be an issue.

And after that, your opposition. Their goal is to kill. Yours is to protect.

Again, it shouldn't be an issue. I've never failed any of my clients. I have no need to treat this differently.

That hardly seems fair. Wouldn't it be way more even if his opponent had to kill half of his targets?

It will be interesting to see who wins. Life, and death -- fighting each other.

The spot is as good as mine. I have no intention of ruining my record. I've never let a client down before.

Rocker doesn't count, apparently.

Very well. I have one final request, however. Regarding the one called Rabies.

What is it?

I'll be making up a big story. Something about parallel worlds. They'll think they have a "power".

Yep! That godawful sad earth clipart spiel he told us way earlier was a complete lie!

Very well.

With that being said: Are you ready for the games to begin?

The eternal struggle of life and death. But this time -- we'll have a victor.

Yes, I am.

Good. And one final thing. When you meet your opposition? I think you'll come to understand:

And it looks like Acheron is Max's brother. That'd be a cool twist, if Rabies actually found out about it instead of these side scenes just telling us spoilers way ahead of time.

Meanwhile, Velasquez prays to be a less shitty king.

In my time of need...I fear I am alone.

But...What does a man such as me pray to? When I already bear the burden of the world.

And when its fate is now upon us.

I'd think your failure would be codified in the Wayfarer's Tavern and the ever-growing pile of broken glass at Trish's feet.

But I know that we can find salvation. For nothing is below such a right.

Not as long as they have the power...Or--If they have the strength to use it.


The fate of the universe is now a gamble. And here I am -- filled with doubt. When once, I was so sure.

However, now it is too late. They are coming with a thousand furies. And they will seek our destruction.

I can't help but wonder what religion is like on Terra. I can only guess that all the faiths are some variation of "someone, anyone, save us from this shithole."

But as they say about desperate times...

I don't know about you guys, but this got a solid belly laugh out of me.


His solution to Terra's problems is simple!

Only kinda immortal, though.

Welcome to Chapter Six. While it's just as stupid as any other chapter in this godforsaken game, something happens in it that I think you guys will enjoy.

Someone poke Rocker's corpse with a stick to make sure.

Wait...I have to use my brain here. The message said a friend of mine would die today. I can't say that I'd consider Rocker a friend. We've had next to no contact since I arrived.

The only people I've had real contact with...Kila and Rook. But they're safe and sound.

As I make eye contact with Kila, I shrug. Perhaps it would be best for us to leave Singe alone.

And perhaps leave this place together. We shouldn't have to wait until morning. Not with danger like this lurking about. Especially not since we have those credit cards.

Well, Singe did hogtie the janitor of the place and stuffed him in the closet during one of his episodes and he's still there.

Is it? We're talking about a guy who carried around a stringed instrument he had no idea how to play, even though he was supposedly a world-famous guitarist.

Check out stores for Rocker's posthumous release, Ain't Got No Time (For Guitar).

He takes out his phone and starts texting.

I must confer with Acheron. But I think we all know what this means.


The killer is among us.


More bombs! More mustard gas! Singe knows a guy that can score him a suitcase nuke!

A change?

I need to work with Acheron. Together we can catch this killer.

While on the other hand...Your flight home has been bumped up.

I'll make sure you're home later tonight. I'm sure you understand...Klace was not an isolated incident. The worst has come to pass.

We are under attack...And I cannot risk you two as casualties.

Best case scenario would be using Kila as bait. Come an' get it, Max!

I wonder if this tour will even happen...So much has gone to waste. But for what purpose...?

Why would someone want to do this?

That's a good question, actually. And I did have a better grasp on things than he did. If someone was misusing their powers from The Ark? Why would that man give it to them in the first place?

I assumed that he chose his specimens carefully. At least, that's the impression he gave to me. I didn't think he'd choose someone so reckless. In fact -- I thought I was the only one chosen...

And do I really -want- to leave? I feel like I have a part to play in this mystery. For now -- it seems like this ends tonight. As that's all the time I have before I'm sent home.

That's a tall order...Catch a murderer and save Terra all in one night? I feel like a bit off more than I can chew.

Hope Klace manages to wrap up this story in a concise and satisfying manner without any hanging plot-pfffffthahahaha, nope, couldn't say that with a straight face.

Use Singe's lab coat as a white flag of surrender?

I would suggest sticking together. Or at least, be around those you trust.

Shock and Rocker rarely parted ways. The killer must have been watching...They waited until Rocker was alone.

Don't give them that chance.

Fun fact: Rabies Cogman McFutts possesses the ability to spontaneously self-combust to deter predators!

Wait a minute. You're gonna make us stay here when there's a killer out and about? That's crazy...!

In another case of Klace using weird terminology, "out and about" makes it sound like Max is killing people left and right while wearing a fancy dress like a proper woman about town.

I thought maybe you'd make us wait at the airport or something, Singe. But -- Keeping us in harm's way...?

That's a very pessimistic way of looking at things, Kila. You should re-think this.

This is basically a hostage situation. We might as well have guns to our heads.

Claim immunity to bullets?

Make sudden movements...

Exactly. A rash action like that might provoke the assailant into taking rash actions of their own. We must remain here.

I think it's best if we let them assume their plan is coming to fruition. That way we can catch them off guard later on.

I will discuss the best course of action with Acheron. If I'm not mistaken, this is far from his first brush with a killer.

What's more important, letting a serial murderer think they've won or, I dunno, surviving?

I guess that makes sense...I don't know.

Acheron's perfect record already ruined by an arms dealer that's probably his sister. That's why he's paid the big bucks!

Cool, another cell phone number we never use.


Singe leans back in his chair with a sigh.

At first, I thought I was responsible for Klace's death. That maybe allowing him to leave this place put him in danger.

But now I know we've been targeted. Honestly, I think that Klace would have been attacked no matter where he was...

I don't know if that's scary or if it's reassuring. But now, the burden of responsibility is one easily discarded.

I feel as if my mind has become more clear. I will use this newfound power to find and restrain the killer. Give them justice.

Bombs are swift. Remember Singe, with a push of a button all these problems will go away.

He slams a fist down on his table.

You are free to go. Please heed the advice I gave earlier. And I will be in contact about your flight.

I can understand where he's coming from. Guilt can be a devastating force. To be free from it -- is truly liberating. Especially if it wasn't your fault.

First Singe finds out Rocker dies, and now he has to be alone with Kila again. Has to be the worst day of his life.

I'll run into you later, I'm sure.

Kila reclines in his chair. Clearly displaying that he's here to stay.

Very well. Be safe Rabies.

I nod. This was all a lot to process. I guess we were expected to act like rats in a cage. Moving as the mastermind expects...

All in favor of rattling the cage, please cast your vote by kicking Kila in his stupid buck teeth.