The Let's Play Archive


by Blarghalt

Part 44: Bad Ending


So we're starting with the "bad" ending, where Rabies doesn't have enough power to set the reality planes free.

Now you might be wondering what choices available influence how much power Rabies has. And you'll be happy to know that any decision that set a True Ending Flag had absolutely nothing to do with Rabies gaining more power, such as listening to Jade yammer on about how quantum physics works or chatting with Shock and Rocker way back in Chapter 4.

And now Rabies agrees with Nagi for some reason.

Embracing what to come, like walking into traffic with your arms outstretched.

You mean a future built on hilarity!

So where are the Rabies souls going to go after this? Double-Terra?

And with Rabies' passing, everyone alive feels a gnawing cog-shaped hole in their heart.

This game hasn't earned the right to use tildes.

The background looks less like a ruined building and more like someone got drunk on the 4th of July and started a small brushfire.

So where's Phidget's charred remains?

On Righty's watch, no buildings will ever burn down again. And he would know something about wildfires.

Sure, just scoop up the glass with your bare fucking hands.

It might be hard to believe, but Nagi kind of had daddy issues. Not surprising she burninated the tavern he ordered built.

PB is taking Phidget's death rather well, considering that Nami probably exsanguinated him and wore his head as a hat.

Or maybe they're just happy they don't have to listen to Phidget ask about his dead mother anymore.

I think a world of joy for all is happening because Velasquez's reign has ended.

I honestly don't know what PB plans to do with his life, since I don't think Terra has any raves going on.

Wouldn't the throne go to Plair or something?

"Don't touch my stuff."

Considering telephones don't exist on Terra and there's no way the planet's postal system is even remotely well-run, I think Dusk is just cutting his losses and getting the hell out of dodge before he gets lynched for his association with Velasquez.

You think Righty would ever wear a shirt as king, or would he just pimp out his battleaxe?

First thing's first, nobody is calling Righty 'king'. Call him 'Bear One'.

'Peaceful resignation'? What, did the last few of Velasquez's advisors submit their resignation taped to a bomb?

Have we ever even seen Dusk outside of the throne room before?

Exile: it's a character-building exercise!

I'm sincerely starting to think PB is actually glad Phidget's dead.

PB hopes to find a foreign, mystical land. One where kings are actually competent, and bars don't double as immigration offices.

Okay. Velasquez ruled over the planet for thousands of years, and you're telling me it's not even completely mapped out yet?

I don't mind you guys constantly dunking on Phidget, guys, but that's supposed to be my job.

Maybe you could reform the Assassin's Guild, Konrad. Surely a hitman of your caliber could train the next generation of pfffffthahahahahahaha

What kind of terrible profit margin did PB have for a bar that was supposed to be known throughout the entire world?

"We'll name this new land: Beltsia."

"That's worse than the island you named Rileystab."

I love that these two idiots are just going to go wander off into the fucking wilderness with no real plan and no supplies.

Konrad heard how Phidget died. It's in all the funny papers!

Oh fuck off. Klace pulled that tavern's name out of his ass and that's where he's pulling the rest of this ending, too.

In civilized circles, this is called 'cronyism'.

What could Caylen advise someone on other than how to avoid trenchfoot during extended stays in a dungeon?

Righty, you have muscles the size of large dogs. What's Caylen going to protect you from?

Having a charismatic politician around that 'tells it like it is'. That'll never backfire!

Your room'll be in the solitary confinement wing of the prison and you'll like it!

I like how this implies that people have already started claiming parts of the castle to call their own and Righty missed out and all he's left with is the throne room.

Which one's closer to the fire exit?

Also, how is Velasquez's will to make Righty king valid? If the monarchy is elective and Velasquez is dead, wouldn't they have held an emergency election?

Hell needed a new accountant, is all.

...Is Sam looting?

So Sam worked for Dusk, who worked for Velasquez, and we actually have seen Sam kill somebody. Holy shit! Konrad, we've found you a new mentor!

It's down the "hallway" with the "windows" up the "stairs".

The Serbian flag thing continues to bother me. Maybe Terra is just Serbia? Could anyone reading this thread confirm whether or not a giant talking bear rules Serbia right now?

Did we ever seen Righty interact with or even mention Trish, even once?

"And so Terra immediately fell into chaos and civil war."

Wait, did Velasquez not allow freedom?

Also, what aged ideals?

Righty made sure the people had rights.

But not too many.

Why call them Ambassadors? Wouldn't they be mayors or senators or congressmen?

So what's the moral of this story here? The tiger nativist was right all along?

You think the history books are going to remember Velasquez's reign as anything other than an unending darkness?

When the hell was it ever established that Trish cooked?

Again, Velasquez ruled the planet for millennia. How the fuck was the planet not politically united already?

Compared to what Velasquez's rule was like, any improved government would probably be a paradise by comparison.

Wouldn't Caylen be nearly as old as Righty by the time he died?

PB has some grand plans to chase some native furries off their land.


Eat shit, Konrad.

Which wasn't long, because everyone forgot about the spaceship that Nagi still put on a crash course, which eventually slammed into the planet and cracked the crust, killing every living thing down to the smallest bacteria.

Good End!

With God as his witness, Singe will see this tour finished if he has to hold ten more buildings hostage.

Is Inumi having nightmares about Klace showing up for a test in his underwear? Because those nightmares would have him wearing more clothing.

Didn't really take Furry Sherlock Holmes to figure out who it was.

"Instead, only most of us are dead."

This is Inumi we're talking about. He's probably not going to remember this conversation.

You mean the character we haven't seen since Chapter 3?

If you think her sentencing in Japan will be bad, wait until South Sudan gets a hold of her.

What are they going to do? Tie her to a chair with a bomb and make some stranger make a choice between her and some other arms dealer they've also rigged to a bomb?

Is the world ready for a singer that isn't nude from the waist down?

Turns out Dazz wasn't allowed to write the song lyrics for a reason!

Okay, so Dazz is just admitting it's gibberish.

Luckily for the fans, the Klace Memorial Tour will also double as a four-month long open casket funeral for Klace! No preservatives!

Horribly repressed childhood trauma? Dazz is draggin' that shit out!

They better smile; tickets to this shitshow cost nearly a grand.

The dunker has become the dunked.

Or ruin their careers forever.

Oh no, the unethical arms dealer probably fleeing Interpol ended up doing something bad. Who could have seen this coming

Kind of fuzzy on how they arrested her, considering she can still stop time.

Poetry would be like Max's company getting bought out by Texas Instruments. This is just events that happened because the plot demanded it.

Wikipedia's 'ongoing armed conflicts' page is a pretty good primer on her 'ripples'.

I just realized something. For all the characters that spew their backstory at us, not one female character did. Jade didn't give us some sob story of how quantum mechanics helps her cope, and we didn't learn whatever pointless string of events made Dazz a singer.

In the grand scheme of things it's not much, but it is telling of how Klace writes characters.

Be a story to tell the grandkids, huh Rook?

Oh who am I kidding, you're going to be the drunk uncle.

You think if Jade got pushed into the water, she'd float like a duck?

I will bet yen that Rook's tablet has the most almost-illegal porn that's still legal to possess.

Yup, that's water alright.

Rook, please tell me you have Inumi wrapped in a trash bag ready to throw over the rails or something.

You think Rook's AI friend can feel betrayal? Will he dream?

Most of Jade's mouth is a beak. How does that blush?

To make sure Shock and Dazz perform to their potential, Singe has rigged the stage with bombs ready to detonate at the first sour note.

The fans don't know what they want. We could just throw a live starfish onto the stage and they'd go wild.

You'd think people would see this as an obviously transparent attempt to cash in on Klace's death.

Wait, what? Isn't Dazz the singer? When did they ever say she played piano?

It'd be really hilarious if Shock put on his best Nathan Explosion impression out there, though.

This prose is so goddamn purple that it's Byzantine royalty.

If I was a lost soul and this concert was the best they could conjure up in my memory, I'd pull some straight up The Exorcist shit in anger.

After a while, the world even started to wonder why they even liked Klace in the first place.

And so began Fukumoto's bright journalistic history at WordNetDaily.

Lol at Inumi not immediately collapsing Singe's idol empire overnight.

So if they have kids, are the offspring ferrets or birds? How do Punett Squares work when nearly everyone is a separate species entirely?

In all, the combined actual charitable work of all their charities amounted to about the same a person would spend on a new set of lightbulbs.

And despite being deader than any dead person can be, Rabies somehow saw all of this.

Roll credits. Shame on every person with their name attached to this.

But special shame on the people that bought this game, and enabled Klace to continue making games.

And yes, I'm including myself in this accusation.

Klace, you are not nearly artsy enough to justify ending your game with 'Fin'.

But wait! There's a scene after the credits!

So if they know she can stop time, why are they still letting her into the exercise yard with all the other prisoners?

Also, why does she feel the need to hulk up when she could easily kill someone by, again, being able to stop time?

Guess what time it is, Max?

Family Feud!

And that was the "bad" ending. Don't worry, we still have the True Ending to cover, because I love you.