Part 28: My Humor program is bugged and I set Panic to my Regular.
We head back home for the next cut-scene.
I wonder if Lan told her about Yai's condition.
Kinda weird to do guest commentary for the LP I started. Ah, uh, crap. I mean, uh, friends! Yai is our BFF, so it's okay! I AM MISSECHELON AND NOT EPM. Look, I can do pretty pictures too!
Okay, I think they're buying it. I am a master of science with a bachelor's in disguise.
Echelon? What happened to your hair?
I...uh, let's get to the update, nobody's gonna care about that.
Oh? I wonder if it's someone from Giver's fanclub. I have one, shut up. Boo hoo.
Roster of the Official Giver Fanclub:
Founder: Giver.
President: Giver.
Treasurer: Giver.
Secretary: Giver's Twitter sockpuppet account.
Members: Giver0, Giver1, [...], Giver886.
Ah, FUCK!
Oh boy, time for a stupid and time wasti-FRIENDSHIP with our new friend-person! I wonder if he has...friend-things to share with us!
Get the fuck out my house!
Lan's posters and socc-FOOTBALL are how Tora knows he can take refuge here during the World Cup riots that are inevitable.
You seen it, now get the fuck out.
He means he's a scene kid! Wait, is he a kid? He's got a sort of...eyebrow-pencil chinswirl goatee going on. Maybe he can teach Lan all about it!
He looks like the kind of guy with plenty of
What have you done, MissEchelon!? That is a monstrosity!
But it's so cute, don't you think? Awww, don't call him a monster! Just look at his sweet cuddly eyes!
Who cares.
Get.
Out.
This is how you can tell Giver's a recent addition to the forums, anyone else would have whipped
out!
Now.
Traitor! I will get you for this later, woman!
Don't worry, Giver! I'm still trustworthy. And always will be. I am MissEchelon.
Too bad I actually do in real life. It always fades to black when I eat.
That's because you don't have a refrigerator.
Training to be a better NetBattler? Just read this Let's Play.
Y-yes, you...you are very...educational...EPM was pretty good too though.
Even if nobody learned a thing from him...Wow MissEchelon, are you saying you didn't learn anything from EPM?
I learned how to get nothing done for half a year and....Oh! Those jack-in points hidden at SciLab and the Zoo. I think that's it........
Feel bad, Lan.
He must feel pretty bad, yeah.
I take it Lan is none-too-happy about that. That, or he wants to figure out his secrets.
Like how he gets his hair to look like a broken eggshell being worn on his head!
His afro puffs way out if he removes the eggshell keeping it down.
That's what I've been saying the whole time!
Via randomly intruding into people's houses.
Well that's what Lan does! And every other RPG character! Why can't Tora do it?
His fan-girls give him power?
Tora was very clever in his methods...
It wasn't the box he intended, but it worked out anyway.
Nevermind, I don't think I want to bother.
"Hey, you wanna know the secrets to beating Chaud? How he's so tough?" "I did that at least twice by now!" "...What?"
I DEFINITELY don't want to know. This is not an effective use of my time. I could be busting viruses.
You'll be doing that anyway and you know it!
Dammit, it's time for plot filler? Booooo-rrrrring.
At least the game is up-front about how Lan is annoyed at it!
Nope.
And so the two head to bed in preparation for tomorrow's shenanigans.
Both of you! Traitors! Fuck you and Haruka.
Nobody else will drive a knife into your back, I'm sure. I mean, totally hypothetically speaking, that's way too easy to link me too, if I were to consider anything like that.
This is so unfair.
It's an act, I say. AN ACT!
Look at his closed eyes and tell me different!
Now I think the brown smudge on his chin comes from brown-nosing everyone after he talked smack on TV and got whupped for it.
Okay, that's enough stalling. Let's actually talk to Dex.
: I betta' not see anymore white boys moving in, you hear?I'm still surprised that thing didn't end up your avatar.
Well, more friends around is...always..a.. b-b-etter thing...I can feel my capillaries rupturing just IMITATING that joke...
Yes, we were just about to find out why Dex called us. YOU RUINED THE OPPORTUNITY!
: Another crazy mofo. Fuck this shit, man. I'm going to another school. Ain't got the time to deal with these mutha fuckin' crazy ass white boys all up in my shit.It's just boys whipping out their PE...Ts, what's wrong with that? Also, Dex's intended ethnicity is confusing, I think he's actually Blasian? Netopian family, but Oyama surname, no idea really.
You know what's coming.
Yep.
That's copyrighted.
After their battle...
It was so good that we could not even see it. A duel of epic proportions filled with skill, determination and tactical foresight until someone used Gater.
In my defense, name me a Battle Network game that doesn't have a way to cheese everything and is trivially easy to get:
Always that simple in BN land.
Everything really kind of is.
Do I really have to do HelpBBS requests?
Tora ruins everything. EVERYTHING!
Why, I'll have you know...
It's those damn whities.
They're always trying to keep a brother down, you see.
You know, that really puts BrotherBand from Starforce in a different light.
Best Friend Tamako gives us a shortcut to Beach Square. Sweet.
Hey, that's one of the top two most useful shortcuts in the entire game right there! I'd say that qualifies her for BFF status!
Four jobs!? This is NOT getting done this update.
Would you really want to subject people to an entire update of them? At least it forces the player to learn that the BBS is a profitable sidequest fountain.
*grumble, grumble*
This sounds a bit familiar!
FUCKING PERFECT! BEAUTIFUL! WE'RE JUST HAVING BOATLOADS OF FUN AREN'T WE?
...It's the internet. Why is this any kind of obstacle?
Shoddy coding, no doubt.
And quirks of the Japanese language. It's been mentioned before briefly, but the basic thing is that Japanese has a lot of "blank spots" in its grammar that either get used for contextual connotations or opportunities for personalization.I was concepting a fictional language for a project, okay?! Wound up using a mix of Sumerian, Korean, and Arabic syntax in the end for a good 'weird exotic' feel.
To hell with your secrets.
Oh, I thought it was something cool.
I can be useful! Giver had a backwards bracket on that IMG tag's closer!
Glide has a fan!?
Yes, one he can't fix himself because he's too useless to clean out the viruses in his own home! Wait.. But oh well, the Prog is probably just happy for the underdog of the N1!
We need fucking Press to get to the guy.
This game is trolltastic.
Fix your fucking NetNavi. Check his Speech Settings.
All I needed to hear.
At least we can give MissEchelon what she wants.
Give the Prog Queen her sacrifices.
That Program's gonna overheat and shut down. You'll have to reboot him.
Exchanges with Mr Progs are generally worthwhile.
Mr Prog you need a better workplace agreement!
Okay.
I'm abridging this shit. I mean, really, you can fill in the dialogue yourself. "THANK YOU SO MUCH!"
And yet you leave in 8+ screenshots of the same virus fight.
Don't hate on my virus busting!
Okay, this was time well spent.
Yeah, each of the Tora jobs gives Lan a reward anyway, and actually pretty good ones if I remember. One of them in particular (surprise, the Netopia-related one) gives a reward that makes ALL of this worth it, even if it's mandatory for game progress.
Annnnd fuck it, I'll tackle the rest of the requests in the next update. So, I'll leave you with something special for this update.
For this next part, I'll be bringing in a special guest: MidniteW. He's the one who got the World Record in Nebula Area 5's Liberation without save abuse. He and I are considered the "Titans" when it comes to NetBattling in the Chrono X community. Midnite typically does 120 HP runs of each Battle Network game when he's bored.
And for contrast...
I need his help for something pertaining to BN3, you see. The following is how our conversation went:
: I hate this Pokemon shit. I NEED MISTMANV1-V4! Midnite, what do I do.
: I'll just trade them to you, Killer.: Ooohh, sounds cool. I'll need SonicWav W, too, because fuck Version-Exclusivity.
: Yes, YESSSSS! GIVE ME YOUR CODES! ElecSword P, you are mine!
: Why the fuck did you change the mugshot to the OSS one.: 'Cuz.
: Japanese? Dude, really? Does that W in your name stand for Weeaboo?: You suck.
: I did my 120 HP run in White version. Because Folderback would have made it too easy.: Seems legit.
: In fact, it became a 60 HP run once I acquired HubBatch: Do it without VarSword spam and I'll maybe give you props. MAYBE.
: And that's all you wanted?: Yeah, that's it. But, question: what does the right side say? I know it isn't exactly what my side is saying.
: Oh.: Yeah, he says that when you trade the same item. It even happened in Battle Network 2, take a look.
: If you trade the same Styles in Battle Network 2, MegaMan even asks why. : They put effort in the most weirdest of places. 
: Eguchi is weird like that. Did you know he directed Starforce 2? And for the most of the games he was just part of the writing staff?: No wonder that game came out so horribly.: Just remember, Japanese Battle Network 2 and 3 saves are compatible with their English versions. You could load a Japanese save onto your English ROM and it would transfer just fine. On Battle Network 4 and above, they started region locking.Thanks for your help Midnite.
<Sounds of Absolutely-Not-EPM drinking the depression away.>
YESSSS! FUCK YOUR VERSION EXCLUSIVE SHIT!
On a fucking emulator, no less! All legit, no cheats. I could have very easily asked Midnite to do Compare Library, but that would have been rubbing it in.
MistMans are fucking beautiful for S-ranking. MistManV4 has the potential to hit a virus for 300 damage, so long as there are open spaces on the left and right sides of him. If there is only one open space, it can only hit once.
Be right back. It's time to reduce the global virus population. Every computer in the world should have "Giver Anti-Virus" installed. Everyone!