Part 56: At Least It's Not a Cryptogram

Update 36: At Least It's Not a Cryptogram



"We have explored the lands surrounding every town except for Algary. Perhaps there we shall find a clue as to the location of the Inner Sanctum."



"Or perhaps we'll just inhale swamp gas until we suffocate."



"Sure, go ahead. But before you get any big ideas, we're not payin' you."

Some time later...

"Wait, what are you doing? Why are you landing here?"



"Uh-oh. Looks like swamp bandits."
"Next time, perhaps we should wait until after he's finished flying over the swamp to announce our intent to stiff him."
"Bit late for should-ofs, isn't it? Say yer prayers."



"Huh. You're pretty tough. Been a while since someone survived an attack from me."



"Not that it helped you at all in the long run, of course."



"Well, we won, but we're still in the middle of the swamp. What now?"
"We go back to that winged beast and teach him not to mess with us, that's what."



"Okay, see, last time we tried that you dropped us in a bandit camp. We're not fallin' for that again."
"Well, it was worth a try. I'll just kill you myself, then."



"Hmm. That could have been nasty if he'd attacked someone other than our least effective fighter."



"It's about time I got to do something awesome again."



"We have purged another foul beast from the land of Varn. Now, to heal Successhands..."
"Hey, Mattybee! What was with that 'least effective fighter' crack?"
"I hate to say it, but it's pretty much true, man. You suck at everything except disarming traps."
"And even then, I've had to Etherealise us through a bunch of doors because nobody trusts you to open them without setting them off."
"Fine, rub it in, why don't you. But I'm still the one who's about to open that beast's treasure chest!"



"Well, I concede the argument. Clearly you're an indispensable member of our party. Whatever would we have done without that handful of coins?"
"For the record, I despise all of you."



"Well, that swamp got us nowhere fast. Maybe there's something worth seeing off the coast."
"No prob. I'll just cast Walk on--"
"Actually, if it's all the same to you, I think I'll be casting Walk on Water."



"Well, what d'you know. There was an island out there. Maybe there's even someone living on it."



"Hey, awesome! A real live giant who's not trying to kill us!"
"This is no ordinary giant: he is the seer Og, cursed with blindness by the gods for his excessive pride in his own intellect. He cannot recover his sight until he is humbled by a mind greater than his own."
"Thanks for the exposition and all, but can you please set those two giant chess pieces down on the board so we can start playing? I'd like a chance to get my sight back."
"Wait, if you're blind, how do you know we're carrying two giant chess pieces?"
"Quiet, you."
"Well, it seems we shall have to respond to Og's move. Does anybody know anything about chess?"
"Nope."
"Not me."
"Bah."
"What's chess?"
"Wait, I think I've got an idea. Remember all those clues we kept finding, written in black and white?"



"Like 'the first part is female', in the mountains south of Sorpigal? I bet that means we have to move our Queen."



"And 'the second part is the most valuable', in the Volcano God's cave, must mean that we have to move our Queen into the King's file, since the King is the most valuable piece in chess."



"Finally, 'the last part is the first', in the dungeon under Dragadune, must mean that we move our Queen to the first rank in the King's file."



"So obviously, the correct response is 'Queen to King's level 1'."



"Wait, that aggregation of random clues and wild leaps of logic was actually the correct answer? Seriously?"
"Jostiband, how did you of all people figure all that out?"
"I'm crazy, not stupid."



"Mt. Doom? Sounds like a cheerful place. I can't wait to pay it a visit."
"Really? Because it sounds kinda dangerous to me."

The first time you look for the idols, they're always in the two places I found them: the checkerboard rooms in the bottom floor of Okrim's Lair and the Building of Gold. After completing the quest once, though, the idols are moved to two randomly-selected checkerboard rooms. Have fun searching for them if for some reason you want to do this quest more than once.

"Well, thanks for restoring my sight and all. Now get out of here."




"Huh. Well, that was an experience, I guess."



"And we finally have a lead on where to go next. I feel as if the Inner Sanctum is almost within our reach."

Nobody gained any levels or equipment, so no character sheets this update. There is, however, a vote. Should the party finally get around to visiting King Alamar, or should they follow Og's advice and travel to the ominously-named Mt. Doom? Vote now!