Part 154: Episode CXLVIII: Failure in Motor FunctionEpisode CXLVIII: Failure in Motor Functions
Alright... it might be a month late to start on that New Years resolution of getting fit. But its better late than never. Lets start with some light jogging and then some lifoh, wait... Wrong file. Ehm... Were given a loading screen with some limited options. Only one, in fact. I hope you like this faux-monitor frame effect cuz its not going away!
Gonna be real, most mornings lately Im definitely having a 12% deficiency in thought circuits as well. Ive got to get my sleep cycle back on track. Dragging something fierce.
Activation approved. 3... 2... 1... Activating Plato.
Head to Room 18 immediately for your motor functions examination. That is all.
Meet our new player character: Plato 1728. He was actually the narrator in all of those storybook segments weve been seeing at the conclusion of the three colosseum trials. Its probably hard to tell from screenshots alone but he is clearly pretty jacked. Hes vibrating and shaking more than the standard machine lifeform, sparking on various parts of his body at regular intervals and one of his eyes cant seem to keep lit. Im sure its fine.
Were tasked with going to this Room 18 for testing on our clearly compromised motor functions. And we could do that right away and end this segment in about five minutes. But there are a ton of machine lifeforms hanging out that we can and should chat with before resuming our duties. Lets take a look...
Tests dont indicate any abnormalities in his visual circuits, so I have no clue whats up with him.
(Dreamer Machine) Good morning, Plato 1728. Todays the day of your activation then, is it? Say, Ive been seeing these weird images while in sleep mode recently. Its almost as if Im actually not asleep. The images are different every time; sometimes theyre fun, sometimes theyre sad. I ever had an experience where I turned into a human being! I wonder where all this miraculous imagery comes from... Have you ever had the same thing happen to you?
Well... there was this one time in a strange forest where I suddenly entered sleep mode and everything turned to text. Oddest thing, I tell ya... When I told others about it their opinions were divisive. Seems the duller folks I knew had a similar experience but it was a scene of trying to fish on a pier but it was somehow the wrong pier. There was a giant red X telling them where the right pier was... but they couldnt manage it. Then they woke up and complained on the network. Weird stuff, man... Weird stuff.
Same. While this is a Machine on a Break, it is not the Machine on a Break -- future party member of NieR 3. Theres actually a number of Machine on a Break designated boys loafing about today.
Plato 1728, youre especially janky, so take good care of yourself, ya hear?
Janky is a word Im getting sick of hearing when referring to video games with questionable mechanics or buggy elements but... its kind of the best descriptor word there is for it. Such is the limits of human communication.
Heading on out, weve got some stairs leading down and a dead end to the right. If you cannot tell, were in a previously unseen section of the Abandoned Factory. Though, at this point in time its just a Factory. Fully functional and staffed by tons of machines. Not that the present day version wasnt lousy with robot boys. Its just the whole use of it as a production line seemed to have ceased.
Youre dumber than the rest, so you watch your step, okay?
I feel sorry for you flightless units. Legs are so useless.
You say that, but its the same sort of issue with flying cars. Yeah, itd be rad if you had it and all. But do you really want every other dipshit out there to have access to a flying automobile too? People can barely handle four wheels and a linear road.
Anyway, down the stairs we go, vaguely towards our destination...
I wonder whats in there...
Ehh... thats just the Machine Illuminati building. Its no big deal. Just a bunch of pretentious old machines playing at running the world.
Continuing onward, poor Plato 1728 has a complete motor function failure, resulting in the machine becoming stunned for about 5-10 seconds. This randomly happens the duration of this segment of the DLC. Little bit annoying but it goes a long way to show our machine lifeform pal here is extremely jacked and we should probably get on with our mission. But nah... More talking!
Feels like youre being sucked in, doesnt it?
With Platos current athletic abilities, I doubt he could make the jump. Moving on!
If I dont do well enough, Im gonna get demoted again. Urrrgh, just thinking about it makes my core hurt... Youre as clumsy as I am, so you understand the feeling, right?
Encouraging Machine Dont get yourself all worked up. Its just training. Just relax and loosen your bolts a bit.
Now Im just imaging some rando Stubby hopping out with a chip on its shoulder, followed by a freeze frame and a Yakuza nameplate appearing showing its name and rank.
Nah. Just exhausting dialog and occasionally having our legs stop functioning. Well be sure to hit up that Mako Reactor core looking ass looking area when were done poking around.
Like checking out this back room fight club. Turns out machines had been getting into blood sports long before Adam came along and gentrified it all with his bullshit.
Ah crap. I dont think Plato is going to be entering the squared circle anytime soon... Just a moment. Hell get it together shortly.
Destroy! Destroy! Destroy! Destroy! KILL!
Intrigued Machine Lots of machines from around here are coming over to watch the combat training sessions. I figured Id have a look as well, but I dont see the appeal at all. Anyway, everyone knows that YOU need the training, so start gearing up!
Hard pass. Battle Arenas are a stupid idea. Whod want to do those? You just fight waves of guys for middling rewards? Absurd waste of time and resources.
Lets head back out and continue onward down the path leading up to an assembly line. A few machines are hanging out here at the moment. Sup, guys?
Everything makes us freak out, pretty much.
Given the programming of all the machine lifeforms, Im starting to suspect the aliens were all anxiety riddled depressed jerks.
Our victory is nigh!
Child Machine Wow, that weapon sure is big! I wonder how many of me would fit in there?
Machine on a Break Ugh. Im too tired to even move. Were way understaffed! The guys at the top have no idea how hard this work is. I hope we can get this thing up and running before the next big battle...
Its not made clear internally when the Plato records are meant to take place. But if we look back at the Machine Examination sidequest and the Engels 110-B Record this all likelihood is that Engels (there is an official timeline of events which 100% lines up with that one being one of the first four of Engels ever constructed.) Which means this is taking place in 11943 -- so two years after A2s bogus adventure/the formation of YoRHa and two before the events of NieR: Automata. He'll be finished February 14th. Have a fun crunch the next two weeks!
Moving right along, theres only one staircase and an interior structure left to explore before its off to the test chamber. No sense in waiting around.
.........Its kinda fun, actually.
Melancholic Machine Im so tired of working... I just feel like jumping down from here.
The heck is going on back there that has all of you so burnt out?
I... well... Thats new. A complete din of machines furiously chattering and typing on computer consoles fills this room. They seem real busy. So lets do the most natural thing to do in an RPG and bug absolutely everyone. Yes. Everyone. Every last machine in this room has unique dialogue.
Dont talk to me. Im trying to concentrate.
Why do we have to work?
This is apparently the control center for machine lifeforms combat operations. Distinct lack of skin tight leather outfits and cat pictures in this work environment. That cannot be good for morale... Unless otherwise noted, all of these machines are just named Operator Machine.
I have a feeling my vision has deteriorated because of staring at monitors all day, so Im thinking of getting glasses. Problem is though, I dont want to make too much of a SPECTACLE of myself. Pfffffffhehehe. This is what humans call a pun, a high-level communication technique. I read in an old book that people who are proficient at puns used to be revered as divine messengers. I like the sound of that!
I dont want to make a spectacle of myself by putting on glasses... Hehehe. Spectacle... So good...
I cannot believe machine lifeforms got their hands on historical records of Geop.
Oh geez... Aww heck. Not now in front of everyone. First the fight club and now the game dev crunI mean command center. This is getting to be embarrassing.
We havent been able to properly stock up on supplies for months. Its all because of this giant weapon were building.
Dont think, dont think, whatever you do, dont think... Thats right, just keep moving your hands, dont stop to think...
Squad 17, please respond. Its no use... Theres too much static, and I cant hear a single thing.
Ive heard rumors theres a Resistance camp somewhere in the city. We should really find out its exact location.
The air in this room is terrible.
Im getting so sick of everyone complaining all the damn time. Grow up and do your job, geez.
OK. For meteorite go talk to the Scientist Machine on the edge of the Amusement Park ruins. The Resistance Camp is to the southeast of the city under the giant tarps with the androids coming in and out constantly. The rest of you? On your own.
Yes, please rendezvous with Delta Squad when youre done.
I wish this war would end already.
I feel like Im about to overheat...
Bub, were crackling with raw electrical charges from within our body constantly. I dont even want to hear it about overheating.
And then this goes here... And voila! Perfect!
When Im done with this, I need to arrange the supplies, then contact the ground troops, and then... I dont think Ill be going home today.
.........Im busy......... Leave me alone.
Plato just needs to hit up some dinky test chamber and he has the rest of the day off. Sure, his life is complete suffering on the physical level. But no twelve hour work days!
Better hurry, or youll get another earful. Good luck!
A large android squad has been sighted at the flooded city. All nearby units should proceed with caution.
Second platoon, move out!
My superiors are assholes, my job sucks, my colleagues are useless. This place is the pits.
Someone has a case of Mondays, the operator machine was told just before ripping out its co-workers core and stabbing it 18 times in a blood rage.
Just one of them can wipe out multiple machine troops.
Geez, this stupid terminal froze on me AGAIN.
Did you try turning it on and off. This applies to both the terminal and YoRHa androids.
Just when I thought I was done working, there was another pile of tasks waiting for me...
Weve had a lot of deserters recently. We really should start doing something.
The Forest Kingdom was established over a century ago. Yall are really taking time moving the bureaucracy to deal with AWOL machines through the pipeline, huh?
Our electricity bill is through the roof this month! Some units are particularly wasteful, it seems. Ill have to give them a warning.
Ive heard that something called religion is gaining popularity in some districts.
Were so understaffed, its ridiculous.
Welp, looks like Ill be working through the night again today...
I like the idea theres some power plant AI out there built by the humans that is still sending power bills to addresses and the machines are having to scrounge up remaining scraps of old currencies to keep the lights on.
We have to do something about these YoRHa troops...
Weve lost contact with so many troops. We dont even know if they got destroyed or just deserted.
It must be real fucked for the machines to essentially be crappy Terminators dealing with the scrappy human resistance in the flash forward sequences for thousands of years. Then suddenly one day a crazy anime cyborg runs in like a lunatic and Zandatsus your entire company, Red Hot Kicks all your support vehicles into pieces and dashes off into the night. Seemingly while blindfolded the entire time.
If being burnt out tired was all it took to become a god then start calling me Yahweh.
Corporate leadership... Corporate leadership never changes.
Ill be going home in a minute, but youll be staying here for the night. You know that, right?
Im sorry! Im so sorry! Im behind schedule by about a week...
Middle management. The one constant throughout the eons.
This dude knows whats up. Heed his sage like advice.
Anyway, lets get back on track with our original mission. Plato needs to double back and cross the bridge near the mysterious geometric structure. Theres a last couple of machines to chat with along the way.
I guess this is how I was born too, huh?
Manufactured... Born... Sure. There are much weirder ways. Dont ever look up how humans used to do it. Bizarre shit.
Im sure youll do just peachy, you clunky piece of junk! Bwahahaha!
Little dude, theres a flight of stairs right over there. Dont make Plato start you rolling. Guy is having a rough enough day as it is. Cheeky Stubby aside, lets head on in for...
Starting examination of motor functions. Move to the location highlighted by the marker within the allotted time. Commencing examination.
Weve now got a real dumb little trial. We need to move Plato to markers that appear around the room. Seems easy enough. Except for the part where we need to do platforming with a janky Medium Biped machine. Thatd be tricky alone.
Now couple this with the fact Platos motor functions will randomly break down mid-trial.
More frequently than ever before, in fact. Say... every 10-20 seconds hell be stunned and locked down for a good 5+ seconds. Thats not great for a timed platforming trial.
Ultimately, Plato is unable to scrape by in his examination. But thats OK. Hell get a second chance.
Youll get it this time, buddy! You were probably just nervous. It happens. And causes the complete breakdown of all motor functions for 5.8 seconds.
This time around there are far more target areas that appear at once. So Plato has way more of a chance to succeed. There actually is a 15 target threshold to pass in order to complete this segment. Its not just a scripted fail beyond the first time where he has zero shot of winning. This uhh... aint great gameplay. But thats not really what were here for... Though come to think of it... didn't Blade Wolf's DLC in Metal Gear Rising also have crappy box platforming stuff? Is this just Platinum's DLC thing?
Half-way through the timer, Plato will start busting up again. The ring targets also will begin appearing and vanishing more frequently. For balancing purposes, you see. Wouldnt want to make the trial too easy and have some half-assed machines out there. They did that once and now theres a model that is just stacked eight body segments tall and just stares. Thats it all does. I hear they dumped them in the desert as psychological warfare against the androids.
Once Plato does get the minimum of targets, theyll begin appearing and vanishing just out of range of Plato to the point hell almost never get any. Its kinda frustrating if you dont know its intentional. Sure, just throw more last minute trolling. I dont know why I dont constantly expect it at this point.
Results: Extremely poor. Measures must be taken before the next examination. That is all.
Hypothesis: These are past records of a machine lifeform.
Records of a machine?
Report: New records have appeared. Proposal: Gather more information.
Video: Episode 148 Highlight Reel
Plato 1728 Art Maybe he just needs a good scrubbing off? Why you all gotta leave that poor boy so dirty?