Part 17: Episode XVI: None Wang AngelEpisode XVI: None Wang Angel
Where were we...? Ah yes. The machines just merged together and birthed a Ken Doll Sephiroth. Thats a kinda sentence you dont type very often.
New Music: Birth of a Wish (This Cannot Continue) (Go listen to this right now!)
Meet Adam. Im sure theres nothing to read into with that moniker. Nothing the machines do means anything, right? For all we know theyve just gotten their hands on some archives detailing Final Fantasy VII and theres dickless Vincent Valentine being birthed two towns over. Hmm... Mulling that over, we should probably kill this dude immediately.
Having only just been birthed, Adam is but a Level 1 baby and isnt immediately hostile. He looks somewhat confused, really. Regardless, after a couple of seconds 9S will attack if 2B doesnt since he's totally not into anything that is transpiring in this weird robot sex dungeon.
We should PROBABLY follow suit and murder the shit out of this guy before he becomes a threwait, did he just level up? Machines arent supposed to do that. Thats an android thing. Youre breaking gameplay conventions!
Okay, my dude. Youre going to need to bulk up to about twice the size before you can even begin attempting a snarling stance like that and come off as the least bit threatening. And even then, its not happening with the Sadako meets 80s anime villain hairdo youre rocking at the moment.
Well, at the moment its mostly because youre now Level 3 and have learned to lightning karate kick with Chun Lis hundred leg kick follow-up. Diplomacy has obviously failed when youre busting out fighting game moves.
Also, youre continuing to level up without grinding enemies and that means you have access to some manner of Cheat Engine functionality or the like. Androids cannot abide by anyone whod hack in bogus stats to gain an advantage in a duel. I hope you enjoy your getting the machine lifeforms shared account VAC banned after we murder you, chief.
I think hes... evolving. Wed better finish this quick!
Now that hes Level 5, Adam has gained the ability to summon a temporary shield. If 2B or 9S fires upon the shield for a couple seconds, Adam will outright parry the shots and fling them back in their direction.
This shield will also parry melee attacks. Time will briefly freeze and hell immediately follow-up with a quick hit towards 2B or 9S. Its possible to perfect dodge if were quick. But its probably best just not to attack him when hes got a weird time displacement bubble in general. Not that we can tell 9S to do the same. He REALLY isnt into this guy.
Hes also learned to string together some of his kick attacks to form basic combos. Instead of just spamming the one decent attack he knows over and over like most novice fighting game players. Aww beans, he is learning. Soon hell figure out wake-up attacks and dodge cancelling.
Adam also has a secondary shield that just blocks everything, including Pod Program shots, if we get cheeky wailing on him too often from afar. He even gets smart enough to lower his shield and put up the parry one if we run in to switch to melee attacks.
After Adam drops to 50% health, he decides to Level Up again and switch tactics...
Also he can teleport now. So thats new and probably worth a mention. I dont recall there being talk of machine lifeforms being able to teleport. Spawn abruptly from the heavens and drop from the sky for a fight, sure. But actual teleportation seems like a recent development.
Adam also learned down, forward, punch is a Hadoken and is already spamming them non-stop. This dude is fast learner. God help us all if he learns command throws. There is NOTHING more undignified than getting a spinning pile-driver from a nude Sephiroth. That shit scars you for life.
The fast learning man-machine has learned to dodge and will warp out of the way from Pod Programs laser fire or too many concentrated hits from the Gatling or missiles. At least occasionally. Hell still eat a number before teleporting to another out of reach area.
Since Hadokens were evidentially not enough firepower, Level 7 Adam also learned the technique of semi-tracking ground explosions. Thats a classic play out of the 2D platformer boss book. Hed better not be reading up on other genres now. I am uninstalling this game and abandoning the LP if he starts busting out rhythm commands.
After enough hits, Adam will grow tired of lobbing fireballs and explosion from afar and return to the ground to settle up things with the androids. He has brought his teleportation and fireballs skills with him to ground level. Unfortunately he's not a Pokemon and isn't forgetting old skills to learn new ones. Hmm... robotic dystopia Pokemon... It'd probably be into that.
But hes also straight up got a Flash Kick now. Sure, why not? Keep it up. Whats next? You got a Psycho Crusher or a Tiger Upper queued up for the next round, guy?
9S. Hey, 9S! You got this? I just saw him do a Flash Kick on you. That looked like it sucked. That was face full of robot taint, huh? You need a minute, 9S? Thats cool. Take your time. 2B will tag in.
Rounding out his fighting game move list, as Adams HP falls to dangerous levels, despite his constant leveling up, hell start concentrating his random ground explosions into more of a controlled Geese Howard Raging Storm if 2B applies pressure at close range. This guy better not start dabbling in SNK moves. Weve got to take this guys head off post haste if he starts doing Genocide Cutters or summoning tornados and shit.
Keeping up the pressure, Adam is challenging enough for an early game boss. But our androids handily defeat him and...
...they waste absolutely no time making sure to follow up murdering the SHIT out of him in the following cutscene. Bootleg bishonen is already breaking gameplay conventions all willy-nilly. Cant let him try any shit in the Cutscene Realm unchallenged.
RIP Adam the Machine Man. You died as you lived. Dickless.
Is this... really a machine?
Yep... Still no junk. What, 9S? You just now noticing...? Get with the progr
OK. Some please explain to the machines what a dick looks like. I think someone told them its the fifth limb and theyve DEFINITELY misinterpreted that euphemism.
Or... another dude crawled out of the first dudes stomach. Thats not something you see every day. Though to be fair, Ive seen weirder. Call me back when a blood covered regeneration clone crawls out of a magic flower growing out of your eye socket.
Damn it, not another one!
He doesnt seem happy with us. And is, in fact, hollerin so loud that the entire area is collapsing. 9S and 2B wisely decide to cheese it out of the area. They may be in a touch over their heads at this point.
Well just leave Adam and Adams corpse to be buried at the bottom of this desert ruin. Surely, thatll be the last we ever see of him. Trapped for eternity beneath an extremely low resolution texture. Its basically the Phantom Zone for machines, you know.
New Music: Grandma (Destruction)
The way we entered here is inaccessible thanks to that early drop. But part of the surrounding structure conveniently collapses, revealing a new path out of the area.
I have no idea if you can actually die in this sequence or if its just false urgency. Im going to hazard a guess of probably, since Im not going to replay 20 minutes of the game to confirm or deny an unceremonious load screen upon death.
Despite the urgent music, the entire escape sequence is all of about 20 seconds long. Wasting the first use of a real good amped up remix of a song from the first game is a waste. Oh well, were in the clear.
What the hell just happened?
I know! Ive never seen a machine like that before. Wed better report this to command.
Music: Memories of Dust (Vocal)
It seems weve ended up in a small canyon running adjacent to the huge slope connecting the Desert Zone to Desert Housing. Theres a quicksand river running off a bottomless cliff, but little else of note in the region.
Our new goal is to get the hell out of here and back above ground so we can report on the machines recent advances in silver hair man-butt technology. This could mean the beginning of NieRs equivalent of the space race. Only instead of the moon being in space, its on the best crafted behind.
A bizarre gear filled block can be shoved out of the way from the end of the canyon to reveal a path back to civilization. Or well... a place where androids might hang out, at least.
Hey guys, sorry to burst through a wall while youre just hanging out and suddenly murder you all. But question: did you all know about the Desert Housing... event? That was a weird scene to walk in on, guys. You all need to put up a warning sign or some shit in the future. Maybe a big Do Not Disturb sign or a tie on the door handle. I dunno. Figure it out, guys.
Following this cavern, well eventually reach the surface level and 9S will contact his Operator. I think shes only had one line so far (she confirms 2B and 9S are cleared to blow themselves up in the intro) but 9S has his own Operator, 21O. She is... considerably less friendly than 6O.
*ring* 9S to Bunker, do you copy?
Operator, we uh... We just encountered a pair of humanoid machines. We werent able to capture them... But I have combat data ready for upload.
Understood. Ready to receive.
Hopefully you can get something out of it.
Turns out weve ended up all the way back at the buffer zone between the Desert proper and the City Ruins. Well, since we did investigate the machine surge and... kinda handled it, I suppose we ought to head back towards the Resistance Camp to plan our next move. Or at least upgrade or something. Weve collected a mess of cash and materials during that desert excursion.
Entering the base camp at the edge of the city, we find Jackass has relocated here and the shop keeper seems to want our attention. Lets see what these two have for us.
So I guess... you know. Thanks or whatever.
Thats about as much gratitude as well ever get out of Jackass. Ill take it. Lets just remember shes hanging out in this location. We might drop by for a chat at a later date.
Thanks for securing access to those desert resources. Its a huge help. I know it isnt much, but please take this. Its the least I can do. Oh, and be sure to swing by if you ever need anything, all right?
Yeah, guy. You werent kidding. This isnt much. That said, it is a good lesson in that its worth chatting up the locals after major story beats. If they dont have new dialog, at least they might cough up a few extra goodies. Anyway, lets get out of this lousy desert...
Say, 2B? I was hoping we could talk about our next move. Im worried about the damage we took in that last battle with the machines. Maybe we should return to the Resistance camp to resupply and conduct maintenance?
All right. Lets go back.
And that concludes Chapter 3 of NieR: Automata. Tune in next time in which we report back to the Bunker and receive new orders. And then things get umm... festive, lets say.
Video: Episode 16 Highlight Reel (Its a boss fight, you should probably watch it!)
Desert Housing Concept Art For as much concept art as this area gets, its probably one of the least used regions in the game.