Part 82: Episode LXXX: Traveling FastEpisode LXXX: Traveling Fast
Fun fact: I fudged the last couple updates. You cannot actually get Ending N until returning to the village the first time because not everyone spawns for 9S to murder during the initial flag waving introductory sequence. I just needed a good chapter break point.
Anyway, lets get back on track. And by that, I mean hastily skip past several upcoming events because both narratively and mechanically, absolutely nothing new happens except for maybe this conversation...
Music: Grandma (Destruction)
Operator to 9S. I have bad news and I have good news. Bad firstweve confirmed the presence of two Goliath-class heavy-weapon enemies.
TWO of them!?
Now the good news. Weve used your previous Goliath combat data to analyze the enemy... And it seems we have identified a weakness. Command has modified a firing unit based on this new intel. Its been installed on a pair of flight units that are heading your way.
Thats YoRHa R&D for you!
Check your map data. Operator out.
2B! Command is deploying new flight units for us! They just sent the coordinates, so lets get going.
Previously this seemed like quite the crisis for our plucky androids. But we kinda already know how this pans out so the impact of the threat is kinda dampened.
As before, we need to rush to the top of the building where 9S and 2B first set down in the City Ruins. As previously, Engels isnt keen on letting androids put an end to their building punching party.
Music: Grandma (Destruction - Vocal)
Theres absolutely nothing different involved in this battle. Even 9Ss hacking doesnt really save much of any time overall. Given were now 10 levels over this Engels, its more efficient to just pelt him with Pod fire and Programs and go for some quick melee when it slams its arms into the building than hacking.
Since we already did the Machine Examination questline in Route A, 9S just straight murders this Engels this go around instead of severely damaging it for some melancholy chatter on the ways of the world before it passes away. RIP Friendly Engels Unit.
Lets keep it moving here. On to the flight units and the second round of this boss rush with Engels #2.
Guess what? Its 100% the same fight. Except this time weve got three Pods that all can use their missile barrage in succession, making even more of a joke of a fight. Hacking is outright a waste of the time considering how much DPS just flight unit fire and melee attacks, along with regular missile barrages, puts out in the same amount of time as a hack.
Before we finish up our time trashing these Engels twins a second time over, it's worth mentioning there is a second way of dealing with these fiends. Perhaps, not the most effective or dramatic way but...
Both of the Engels units are present on the ground before their proper boss fights are triggered and it is actually possible to attack them from the ground. They aren't actually programmed for defending themselves in this situation as they busy themselves swinging at the air, roaring and shuffling about a bit for show.
It takes a good 3-5 minutes of just plinking away with the Pod A's Gatling or Pod C's Missiles (we have to hit the body and Pod B, even upgraded, doesn't have the reach) and the Engels unit can actually be destroyed from the ground. The game will even acknowledge this feat with a radio call of congratulations! I don't know who is supposed to be speaking. It's not the Commander, the Operators or Anemone. I guess it's supposed to be implied other YoRHa units were helping out and not just 2B and 9S doing all the work.
Thanks for the backup.
We even get a nice reward package for our efforts, including a quite nice and compact Offensive Heal +3 Chip (gain health from attacking enemies. Become invincible in shumup segments.)
The same method can be applied to the second Engels unit. Just tape the button down for a few minutes and grab a snack to gain an easy victory.
Thanks. We owe you one.
Once more 9S gets another care package for exploiting flaws in boss machine's AI and circumventing a proper battle. The only real downside to all of this is we don't get to hear the vocal version of Grandma (Destruction) since that only kicks in during the fight proper.
2B and 9S still need to climb to the rooftops and retrieve their flight units to end this scenario. All events converge here, regardless of whether the Engels units were destroyed on the ground or in the air.
Target enemies offline. That should do it for the Goliaths.
Phew... Other than that one building getting damaged, it looks like we managed to take care of this with minimal losses for on
...That doesnt sound great.
This is Operator 6O. Umm... what the heck did you guys do down there!? That Goliath units enemy vibrations are growing in intensity. Its resonating in tandem with the area beneath the combat zone! Also it is broadcasting get ****ed androids on all frequencies?
Thats probably bad.
Well... at least we werent the cause of the explosion this time, right?
If you say so.
Did we still have that tacky Alien Alert emergency message in the Bunkers system? I know its been hundreds of years, but we really need to have a word with R&D about getting that updated.
...Oh hell. I forgot all about the alien symbol. What were we even thinking with that warning logo design update? I cant believe something that tacky ever got approved. Good grief...
Music: Rays of Light (Quiet)
Alright, thats one crisis averted... kinda. Even if it wrecked a quarter of the region. Say goodbye to the pre-crater version of the City Ruins. Were never seeing that version of the City Ruins again in this LP! There is a Route C to NieR: Automata. Its not what you think it might be.
For the first time in centuries, weve intercepted a signal belonging to the aliens. In case youve forgotten, these are the creatures in direct command of the machine lifeforms on this planet in the proxy war weve been in for numerous millennia. If we can destroy them, we can end this long and arduous war once and for all! Our intel team is analyzing the signal, but you know how that goes. Well need boots on the ground to jump at this chance and investigate. All YoRHa units are hereby ordered to prioritize data collection above all else. ...Glory to mankind. <disconnects>
Huh... Do you think that means well get some back-up for this assignment?
Do we ever?
It cant hurt to be optimistic, ya know?
Repeated disappointment can bring its own pain. You should know that.
Lets press onward towards the crater. The City Ruins has become significantly more dangerous this mid-game area revision go around. Medium Flyers, suicide flyers, those awful electric worm bots and even Goliath Bipeds are all randomly roaming around the City Ruins now alongside the usual increased spawns of Biped and Medium Biped machines. So thats fun.
The crater itself is now CRAZY dangerous with multiple Goliath Bipeds hanging out with worms and respawning mobs of angry littler machines bringing up the rear. If we didnt have to specifically go down here for a mission, its best to avoid coming in here in general. Like if in the future one of our androids found themselves in a real pickle, dropping in this hole would be the LAST thing theyd want to do...
On a lighter note, the awful Link-Sphere machines can now easily be taken out with a single hack from 9S. Thats the reason I said to just avoid these jerks while playing as 2B. Spoilers: Most of the enemies and quests I suggested avoiding were just in service of coming back with 9S and his broken ass hacking to sort things out much simpler.
In any case, down in this garbage hole where 9S belongs. Lets go see how Adam and Eve are hanging. I wonder what poor Platinum dev got stuck taking an afternoon modeling and compiling an underwear sporting set of models for Adam and Eve that were used for exactly one zoomed out 45 second cutscene.
Music: Widespread Illness (Quiet)
Thats because its a cave, 9S.
Enemies have buffed up since the last trek through the mines leading to the mothership and a few of the spider-like machines we saw back in the Abandoned Factory in Route A have migrated down here since then. Otherwise, its a largely uneventful bout of spelunking.
Alien status...? Still giant penises.
...Also still dead. That too, I suppose.
...I have no idea what Im supposed to be looking at? Did you smear grease all over the window?
These are alien motherships, 2B.
OK? Dont think Ive ever seen one of those so Ill take your word on it.
Music: End of the Unknown (Quiet)
Eve, its been like an hour in-game since we last saw you. You managed to get all inked up really quickly, my guy. Im disappointed we never come upon a surly biker looking machine tattoo artist anywhere in the game.
2B! Look out! I dont know why we split up like this...
My name is Adam.
Hiya! Im Eve!
Quiet! Im trying to monologue.
Oh... Shoot... Sorry! Super sorry!
<sigh> Its fine... As I was saying, the aliens you seek are no longer here. That is to say, theyre no longer alive. Obviously, their corpses are present. But that doesnt count. They were wiped out centuries ago. ...By us. The machines.
And who knows? Perhaps well wipe out the androids next.
Music: End of the Unknown (Dynamic)
This time around were fighting Adam instead of Eve. This makes absolutely no difference since they have the same exact move set and this is still a glorified cutscene fight that doesnt end until Adam is finished yammering.
I learned having ones genitals out is problematic so we need to wear undergarments. And pants are like double protection for your genitals!
Tch... Eve, what did I say?
Crap. Right. Sorry! Just gonna fight this lady.
Eventually, the intelligence within our network began to surpass that of our creators. Youd probably be surprised at how quickly it happened. A mere couple of millennia.
That is... a really long time, actually.
Is it...? Admittedly, I do not have relative reference points for the passage of time...
You destroyed your own creators!?
Oh, theres no need to fret about them. They were simple. Infantile. Almost like... plants, I guess youd say. Just with a bit more of a predisposition towards war and murder.
Plants are literally incapable of either of those things.
Regardless, they held no value to us. But the humans on the moon? Now THEY are interesting.
Because they... are an enigma! They killed uncountable numbers of their own kind, and yet loved in equal measure! Its fascinating, dont you think? What could possibly drive such behavior?
Plus they have those like moving drawing videos that are like... incredibly awesome! Man I watched like ALL of those the other day. Like one has this strong guy whose hair turns yellow when hes fighting and he throws fi
We have dedicated ourselves to unraveling their riddle of humanity... And now we will allow you to assist us. You were made in their image, after all.
Assist you with what!?
Its simple. We need you to locate the humans on the moon and bring them to us. We will then dissect and analyze them in order to drag their secrets forth into the light! Surely you see the attraction in this.
Are you insane!? Wed never do that! Can you believe this, 2B? This guy is bonkers!
Hah! Bonkers... thats a funny word.
Well, I suppose this concludes negotiations. The only remaining option... is to destroy you. The same way we destroyed these pathetic little aliens.
The only noteworthy part of this match against Adam is that the Machine Men remain at Level 16 while 9S is pushing past Level 40. As such, he can outright kill Adam during this battle. Unfortunately, that doesnt result in a different ending or anything. Adam is still connected to the Machine Network, after all and is still immortal. 9S just receives a load of experience points and Adam will respawn after a second or two. His monologue will not be interrupted in any way.
Time grows short. This here... this is the fate that befell our creators.
As for your beloved humans... I guess well see, wont we?
Psst... Did I do the cool line right, Adam?
It was acceptable.
We teleport away now right?
<sigh> Yes, thats right, Eve...
And thats all for our second encounter with Adam and Eve. Not a damn thing new. Dont worry, the third encounter will be much different in Route B considering 9S was crucified behind a brick wall for the duration of that fight. But thats for another day. Lets get the hell out of here and claim our real prize.
Say goodbye to the Alien Mothership, by the way. This is the last time well ever have a reason to set foot in here for the rest of the LP. Theres no story beats, sidequest nor even hidden goodies in here. Its a completely useless room following this rematch. Rest in Piss, Dicklings.
As soon as we exit the caverns, trusty Jackass is here with the new Access Point and restoration of the Fast Travel system. Which is good because about a dozen sidequests are about to open up all across the land for us to tackle.
But before we can initiate any of that, duty calls in the form of returning to the Bunker to report our findings. As this Chapter closes, we get the solitary bit of new material it has to offer as 9S beams up into space...
I killed my father.
I killed my mother.
I killed my father.
I killed my mother.
And in his hand, he coldly gripped... Both the joy of growing up. And the agony of being alone.
Video: Episode 80 Highlight Reel
Video: Shmups Are For Chumps
Alien Mothership Concept Art Seems like a cramp space for a bunch of dicks.