Part 82: Episode LXXX: Traveling Fast

Episode LXXX: Traveling Fast



Fun fact: I fudged the last couple updates. You cannot actually get Ending N until returning to the village the first time because not everyone spawns for 9S to murder during the initial flag waving introductory sequence. I just needed a good chapter break point.

Anyway, let’s get back on track. And by that, I mean hastily skip past several upcoming events because both narratively and mechanically, absolutely nothing new happens except for maybe this conversation...


Music: Grandma (Destruction)



Operator to 9S. I have bad news and I have good news. Bad first—we’ve confirmed the presence of two Goliath-class heavy-weapon enemies.
TWO of them!?
Now the good news. We’ve used your previous Goliath combat data to analyze the enemy... And it seems we have identified a weakness. Command has modified a firing unit based on this new intel. It’s been installed on a pair of flight units that are heading your way.
That’s YoRHa R&D for you!
Check your map data. Operator out.
Thanks, Operator!
<disconnects>
2B! Command is deploying new flight units for us! They just sent the coordinates, so let’s get going.
On it.





Previously this seemed like quite the crisis for our plucky androids. But we kinda already know how this pans out so the impact of the threat is kinda dampened.





As before, we need to rush to the top of the building where 9S and 2B first set down in the City Ruins. As previously, Engels isn’t keen on letting androids put an end to their building punching party.


Music: Grandma (Destruction - Vocal)



There’s absolutely nothing different involved in this battle. Even 9S’s hacking doesn’t really save much of any time overall. Given we’re now 10 levels over this Engels, it’s more efficient to just pelt him with Pod fire and Programs and go for some quick melee when it slams its arms into the building than hacking.



Since we already did the Machine Examination questline in Route A, 9S just straight murders this Engels this go around instead of severely damaging it for some melancholy chatter on the ways of the world before it passes away. RIP Friendly Engels Unit.





Let’s keep it moving here. On to the flight units and the second round of this boss rush with Engels #2.





Guess what? It’s 100% the same fight. Except this time we’ve got three Pods that all can use their missile barrage in succession, making even more of a joke of a fight. Hacking is outright a waste of the time considering how much DPS just flight unit fire and melee attacks, along with regular missile barrages, puts out in the same amount of time as a hack.



Before we finish up our time trashing these Engels twins a second time over, it's worth mentioning there is a second way of dealing with these fiends. Perhaps, not the most effective or dramatic way but...



Both of the Engels units are present on the ground before their proper boss fights are triggered and it is actually possible to attack them from the ground. They aren't actually programmed for defending themselves in this situation as they busy themselves swinging at the air, roaring and shuffling about a bit for show.



It takes a good 3-5 minutes of just plinking away with the Pod A's Gatling or Pod C's Missiles (we have to hit the body and Pod B, even upgraded, doesn't have the reach) and the Engels unit can actually be destroyed from the ground. The game will even acknowledge this feat with a radio call of congratulations! I don't know who is supposed to be speaking. It's not the Commander, the Operators or Anemone. I guess it's supposed to be implied other YoRHa units were helping out and not just 2B and 9S doing all the work.



Thanks for the backup.



We even get a nice reward package for our efforts, including a quite nice and compact Offensive Heal +3 Chip (gain health from attacking enemies. Become invincible in shumup segments.)





The same method can be applied to the second Engels unit. Just tape the button down for a few minutes and grab a snack to gain an easy victory.



Thanks. We owe you one.



Once more 9S gets another care package for exploiting flaws in boss machine's AI and circumventing a proper battle. The only real downside to all of this is we don't get to hear the vocal version of Grandma (Destruction) since that only kicks in during the fight proper.



2B and 9S still need to climb to the rooftops and retrieve their flight units to end this scenario. All events converge here, regardless of whether the Engels units were destroyed on the ground or in the air.

Music: ENDS



Target enemies offline. That should do it for the Goliaths.
Phew... Other than that one building getting damaged, it looks like we managed to take care of this with minimal losses for on—



INITIATING SURPRISEMOTHERFUCKERS.EXE



...That doesn’t sound great.
This is Operator 6O. Umm... what the heck did you guys do down there!? That Goliath unit’s enemy vibrations are growing in intensity. It’s resonating in tandem with the area beneath the combat zone! Also it is broadcasting “get ****ed androids” on all frequencies?
That’s probably bad.
Mhm...







Well... at least we weren’t the cause of the explosion this time, right?
If you say so.







Did we still have that tacky Alien Alert emergency message in the Bunker’s system? I know it’s been hundreds of years, but we really need to have a word with R&D about getting that updated.



...Oh hell. I forgot all about the alien symbol. What we’re we even thinking with that warning logo design update? I can’t believe something that tacky ever got approved. Good grief...


Music: Rays of Light (Quiet)



Alright, that’s one crisis averted... kinda. Even if it wrecked a quarter of the region. Say goodbye to the pre-crater version of the City Ruins. We’re never seeing that version of the City Ruins again in this LP! There is a Route C to NieR: Automata. It’s not what you think it might be.



For the first time in centuries, we’ve intercepted a signal belonging to the aliens. In case you’ve forgotten, these are the creatures in direct command of the machine lifeforms on this planet in the proxy war we’ve been in for numerous millennia. If we can destroy them, we can end this long and arduous war once and for all! Our intel team is analyzing the signal, but you know how that goes. We’ll need boots on the ground to jump at this chance and investigate. All YoRHa units are hereby ordered to prioritize data collection above all else. ...Glory to mankind. <disconnects>
Huh... Do you think that means we’ll get some back-up for this assignment?
Do we ever?
It can’t hurt to be optimistic, ya know?
Repeated disappointment can bring its own pain. You should know that.
......



Let’s press onward towards the crater. The City Ruins has become significantly more dangerous this mid-game area revision go around. Medium Flyers, suicide flyers, those awful electric worm bots and even Goliath Bipeds are all randomly roaming around the City Ruins now alongside the usual increased spawns of Biped and Medium Biped machines. So that’s fun.







The crater itself is now CRAZY dangerous with multiple Goliath Bipeds hanging out with worms and respawning mobs of angry littler machines bringing up the rear. If we didn’t have to specifically go down here for a mission, it’s best to avoid coming in here in general. Like if in the future one of our androids found themselves in a real pickle, dropping in this hole would be the LAST thing they’d want to do...





On a lighter note, the awful Link-Sphere machines can now easily be taken out with a single hack from 9S. That’s the reason I said to just avoid these jerks while playing as 2B. Spoilers: Most of the enemies and quests I suggested avoiding were just in service of coming back with 9S and his broken ass hacking to sort things out much simpler.



In any case, down in this garbage hole where 9S belongs. Let’s go see how Adam and Eve are hanging. I wonder what poor Platinum dev got stuck taking an afternoon modeling and compiling an underwear sporting set of models for Adam and Eve that were used for exactly one zoomed out 45 second cutscene.


Music: Widespread Illness (Quiet)



That’s because it’s a cave, 9S.







Enemies have buffed up since the last trek through the mines leading to the mothership and a few of the spider-like machines we saw back in the Abandoned Factory in Route A have migrated down here since then. Otherwise, it’s a largely uneventful bout of spelunking.

Music: ENDS







Alien status...? Still giant penises.



...Also still dead. That too, I suppose.



......
......
......
...I have no idea what I’m supposed to be looking at? Did you smear grease all over the window?
These are alien motherships, 2B.
OK? Don’t think I’ve ever seen one of those so I’ll take your word on it.
Yoo-hoo!




Music: End of the Unknown (Quiet)



Eve, it’s been like an hour in-game since we last saw you. You managed to get all inked up really quickly, my guy. I’m disappointed we never come upon a surly biker looking machine tattoo artist anywhere in the game.



2B! Look out! I don’t know why we split up like this...
My name is Adam.
Hiya! I’m Eve!
Quiet! I’m trying to monologue.
Oh... Shoot... Sorry! Super sorry!
<sigh> It’s fine... As I was saying, the aliens you seek are no longer here. That is to say, they’re no longer alive. Obviously, their corpses are present. But that doesn’t count. They were wiped out centuries ago. ...By us. The machines.
Wiped out?
And who knows? Perhaps we’ll wipe out the androids next.


Music: End of the Unknown (Dynamic)



This time around we’re fighting Adam instead of Eve. This makes absolutely no difference since they have the same exact move set and this is still a glorified cutscene fight that doesn’t end until Adam is finished yammering.



I learned having one’s genitals out is problematic so we need to wear undergarments. And pants are like double protection for your genitals!
Tch... Eve, what did I say?
Crap. Right. Sorry! Just gonna fight this lady.
Eventually, the intelligence within our network began to surpass that of our creators. You’d probably be surprised at how quickly it happened. A mere couple of millennia.
That is... a really long time, actually.
Is it...? Admittedly, I do not have relative reference points for the passage of time...
You destroyed your own creators!?
Oh, there’s no need to fret about them. They were simple. Infantile. Almost like... plants, I guess you’d say. Just with a bit more of a predisposition towards war and murder.
Plants are literally incapable of either of those things.
Regardless, they held no value to us. But the humans on the moon? Now THEY are interesting.
Why them?
Because they... are an enigma! They killed uncountable numbers of their own kind, and yet loved in equal measure! It’s fascinating, don’t you think? What could possibly drive such behavior?
Plus they have those like moving drawing videos that are like... incredibly awesome! Man I watched like ALL of those the other day. Like one has this strong guy whose hair turns yellow when he’s fighting and he throws fi—
Eve...
Right... Sorry!
We have dedicated ourselves to unraveling their riddle of humanity... And now we will allow you to assist us. You were made in their image, after all.
Assist you with what!?
It’s simple. We need you to locate the humans on the moon and bring them to us. We will then dissect and analyze them in order to drag their secrets forth into the light! Surely you see the attraction in this.
Are you insane!? We’d never do that! Can you believe this, 2B? This guy is bonkers!
Hah! “Bonkers”... that’s a funny word.
Well, I suppose this concludes negotiations. The only remaining option... is to destroy you. The same way we destroyed these pathetic little aliens.





The only noteworthy part of this match against Adam is that the Machine Men remain at Level 16 while 9S is pushing past Level 40. As such, he can outright kill Adam during this battle. Unfortunately, that doesn’t result in a different ending or anything. Adam is still connected to the Machine Network, after all and is still immortal. 9S just receives a load of experience points and Adam will respawn after a second or two. His monologue will not be interrupted in any way.



Time grows short. This here... this is the fate that befell our creators.
As for your beloved humans... I guess we’ll see, won’t we?
_{Psst... Did I do the cool line right, Adam?
It was acceptable.
We teleport away now right?
<sigh> Yes, that’s right, Eve...}



Music: ENDS





And that’s all for our second encounter with Adam and Eve. Not a damn thing new. Don’t worry, the third encounter will be much different in Route B considering 9S was crucified behind a brick wall for the duration of that fight. But that’s for another day. Let’s get the hell out of here and claim our real prize.



Say goodbye to the Alien Mothership, by the way. This is the last time we’ll ever have a reason to set foot in here for the rest of the LP. There’s no story beats, sidequest nor even hidden goodies in here. It’s a completely useless room following this rematch. Rest in Piss, Dicklings.





As soon as we exit the caverns, trusty Jackass is here with the new Access Point and restoration of the Fast Travel system. Which is good because about a dozen sidequests are about to open up all across the land for us to tackle.



But before we can initiate any of that, duty calls in the form of returning to the Bunker to report our findings. As this Chapter closes, we get the solitary bit of new material it has to offer as 9S beams up into space...




































”I killed my father.”



“I killed my mother.”



“I killed my father.”
“I killed my mother.”



And in his hand, he coldly gripped... Both the joy of growing up. And the agony of being alone.






Video: Episode 80 Highlight Reel


Video: Shmups Are For Chumps





Alien Mothership Concept Art – Seems like a cramp space for a bunch of dicks.