Part 3: Farm Girl
3. We sent her to live happily on a farm in the country.
Well, it's not like we can really do anything productive this month, so...
No you don't. First month you go out adventuring in the forest, desert and mountain, pick up all the money and sellable objects, then you take art classes until you have an art score of 95 so you can win the art festival. After you get the prize money (and sell the brush you get) money isn't hard to come by at all.
Lizzie, get your bags packed. We're going to the mountains for a holiday!
No need to wait up for us, I'm sure there's loads of puppies just waiting for you up on the mountain.
Master, are you sure it's okay to send Lizzie out alone? The mountain is full of monsters.
I'm sure it's all perfectly safe. Look, here comes one of the army patrols now...
I think I remember seeing this on the internet?
Hello little iceballOW why are you hitting me! Run away! Run away!
Look out for that slippery ice!
Oh hell, do you think they'll let us have another daughter?
Oh well, that was unlikely. And completely unplanned!
Awesome, I can see it now, Lizzie, Barbarian Princess, Conquerer of...
Oh for the love of...
What's she doing?!
I... I think she's trying to pet it.
I knew'd you wanted to play!
Who wants tummy rubs?
I can't watch!
That's loser talk! Cube, what are our options?
Well, I've gotten a few suggestions...
Maybe she could help out at the restaurant?
Voting we have her work at the resturaunt.
Absolutely not. She's going to grow up to smite monsters and shit like her old man. Sure she'll cook better, but kitchen work will just whittle away at what little combat ability she has, leave her with weak, jelly-like arms and be even worse at fighting off monsters than she already is.
*sigh* You're the boss. How about...
Put her to work on the farm so she can gain the strength to slay dragons and sorcerers quickly! Just be sure to keep all the money for yourself. She's ten, so she can't handle it.
...send her to work in the farm! Future evils need to come from rags, not riches, in order to maximize their hatred!
Now that's more like it. A few weeks of farmwork and combat training will get her limp little arms into fighting shape. (And help pay for her own schooling)
...for now, send her farming. We must get her the strength and constitution needed for her to become a daughter we can
have brutalize all who oppose usbe proud of.
Very well, sir. I'll call up that old crudmugeon on the edge of town, I heard his assistant ran away recently after one of their animals died...
So did I!
Can it with your messed up messiah complex! I've got a farm to run!
Hey, not bad, not bad.
Okay this might not work out.
Getting bitten by horses and shoving hay around has raised her strength and constitution. Her refinement takes a hit, though I doubt we'll be missing it just yet.
When I'm done with you, you will be prime specimens of manliness!
But I'm a girl!
Get back to breaking your legs against that pole!
Ow. Ow. Ow.
That's enough for the week. Come back when your legs have healed up.
Papa, I cant walk...
What do you mean 'she's locked herself in her room, crying'?
I'm just saying that maybe you're being too hard on her.
Or maybe we're not being hard enough! Young lady, get out here!
That's it. You just used up your allowance of ellipses for the year.
It is a little known fact, verbal abuse is good for a growing child.
You want stressed? I'll show you stressed!
You little shit! Do you even know how much an education costs these days?! You're working extra shifts on the farm just to make up for all this wasted money.
Unfortunately she didnt take all this very well and has become a little wound up, so we're sending her to
I'd like to check my little girl here into your finest padded cell...
From time to time, adverse weather strikes. If we're not prepared for it, she takes a hit to her stats. Fortunately, we are!
It's about time, now go schmooze at the Palace.
And Lizzie tries to make a new friend.
Hello, Mr. Knight. I'd like to talk with you.
Hmmm... I apologize, but I haven't the time to listen to someone with a tongue as unmannered as yours.
Here comes July! And it's back to farm for Lizzie. Amazingly she doesnt screw up a single day and takes home 120g for daddy's drinky fund.
Cant you at least help me instead of shouting all the time?
Good idea, she could stand to pull her own weight around the house a little.
Have her clean the house, the place is a mess.
Nothing, just talking to thin air. Nothing suspicious at all!
Oh, Mistress, you did very well! You were a great help to me.
Working around the house raised her Temperament, Cleaning and Cooking abilities, at the cost of Sensitivity. Her stress also shoots up and...
Oh what is it this time?
Well tough. Just remember who earns the money around here.
But I ea...
GO TO YOUR ROOM, YOUNG LADY!
August rolls around...
Lizzie, do this! Lizzie, do that!
Now you're saying what I'm thinking!
All this is again too much for Liz, and she raids her old man's wallet before hitting the town. At least she's happier when she gets back.
Look at her, just look at her. Staring at me with those soulless eyes... she's going to knife me in my sleep one day. I just know it!
Oh look sir, it's happy pill time!
The purple ones are my favourite!
What the... that's MY money!
Also, the harvest season has arrived...
I know that.
...and the Harvest Festival is being held in the capital to give thanks to all the gods.
Oh really? And just what have the gods done for me recently aside from wrecking my blood pressure and bank balance and have you seen my hairline...
Have another purple one sir.
October's kind of special, and we only have these options.
We can enter her into these contests to show off her skills and charm.
Or humiliate her horribly before the entire kingdom. I like it!
Well at least you're honest with yourself.
This is horrible. But at least he's not cruel enough to make her fight it out in the arena is he?
You'd think so, wouldnt you?
Well folks, what horrors should Gendo Shinkicker push Lizzie through for the festival and the next 3-4 months? Otherwise I'll continue sending her out to the farm and have her raid for treasure.
Yes. Yes, she does have a katana.
Send her to the arena for glorious battle!
She has a Katana, for fuck's sake.