The Let's Play Archive

Radiation's Halloween Hack

by Variant_Eris, symbolic

Part 5: Jerry Toraernos vs. The Decision

Part 5: Jerry Toraernos vs. The Decision
* - Or press the B button.

Jerry reaches level 9 offscreen. Indeed, all that tea and old man muggings have paid off in experience, cash, and calories.

At level 8, he learns Sleepstun Omega and Cleanse Beta. He also manages to crank out PSI Magnet Alpha and Timestop Omega at level 9.

I want PK Fire. Gimme PK Fire.

Well, nothing left for it. Let’s mosey this up, ladies and goons.

The trek here is about as straightforward and dreary as it was in Earthbound. However, unlike Earthbound, the area is littered with assholish enemies that can and will snap Jerry in half like a twig. Or viciously devour him from head to toe. Yeah, that seems more likely…

Maybe we’ll run into some nice Girl Scouts. I could use some Thin Mints.

Here’s Threatening Enemy #1: The Monster. Out of the two “enemies” in this area (the Desperate Survivor doesn’t count), The Monster is probably the more dangerous of the two. But when a hero goes out to save the world, one monster is no different from another, right…?

After all, he who stumbles around in darkness with a stick is blind. But he who... sticks out in darkness... is... fluorescent!

I’m sure less than 1% of the goons reading this will understand that reference, but I still like it.

Say hi to The Monster. It can tear off Jerry’s arm, bite his head off, burst his eardrums, and cause a whole lotta pain in general. Its attacks usually deal around the ballpark of 10-20 HP, and it has the highest HP out of the three enemies in this area.

We need Scooby Doo to unmask this monster.

Fun fact: The Monster was the enemy that slaughtered the Rosemaries at the beginning of the game.

And another one bites the dust. Geez... think about how much blood Jerry must have on him right now:

-Blood from the muggings of little children.
-His own wounds
-Blood from the Overrecycled
-Blood from the Sewers
-Blood from the Desperate Survivor
-Blood from The Monster
-Blood In, Blood Out
-Blood and Thunder
-Bloody Mary

Where’s that laundry bill again…?

Hey, isn’t this one of Ness’s “My Sanctuary” spots? It’s...just kinda laying around here. For no reason whatsoever. Maybe it’ symbol…? Of Winters spiral into insanity…? I don’t know, stop asking me!

Anyways, after a bit of trekking, Jerry finds a path across Tessie’s Lake. I think you can tell where we’re going to end up at, but I’ll keep my mouth shut for now.

Narnia, yes?


Wait...if this is the sanctuary spot…

...Then what’s this?

Here’s Threatening Enemy #2: The Remnants. It’s...actually relatively harmless. It has less HP than The Monster, and the only times it’ll actually attack is when the moon collides ass-first with the Earth.

I’m not joking. Instead of zapping Jerry for 18 damage per turn, it’ll opt for uttering his name with a creepy undertone instead.

Jerry Toraernos is not impressed by its abilities to imitate a cheesy Halloween scare-a-thon.

The real question is how one chokes themselves to death with their own power. You black out when you’re choking for long enough, meaning you can’t actually strangle yourself to death with your own hands.

...Why yes, I am fun at parties.

Stonehenge has seen better days. Apparently, someone opened up the sprites in Microsoft Paint and filled it in with black coloring. Because black structures are clearly evil (and lazy), as are black kittens and black...goblins.

(That was an awful joke. I sincerely apologize.)

jesus christ, man

Gee, I’m so sorry.

No you ain’t. I heard a better apology from OJ.

A bit further down from Stonehenge, we arrive at our final destination. Gee, I wonder who’s responsible for this mindfuck catastrophe…

Kanyeezus, probably.

: “Jerry, just getting near the door is making your heart pound.

Reality is becoming an illusion. The sea and waves are out of sync, the world’s light has gone and hid. Only the dim, pulsating pain in your cold hands keeps you alive.

And...beyond this door is the greatest evil. The monsters you saw before were no doubt mere shadows to the one inside this metal coffin."

: "Let’s rock…”

The screen ripples outward, reminiscent of the Phase Distorter animation from Earthbound.

Here it is...the climax...where everything will be decided…

Teehee, you said “climax”.


: "..."
: “...What the hell?”

Apparently, Doc Andonut’s lab hasn’t been touched by the encroaching corruption. I suppose that’s a good sign?

Probably making meth.

Uh huh...

Trying to interact with anything in the lab will yield similar results. Likewise, attempting to exit the room will only put you back to the entrance. As I’ve said before, Points of No Return are a big theme in this game.


Woah there, Dr. Doom. Calm down. This ain’t English AP.

And this ain’t the Fantastic Four.

It ain’t John Constantine either, but you don’t hear me complaining. If you can’t slam with the best, then jam with the rest.

My head hurts.

So, the only thing left in the room is Doc.

: “Not as such, no. Look Doc, I only want an A to my Q. If you give them, fine. If you don’t...well...your laboratory might get a little...messy. And not in the good way, either.”

There’s a good kind of messy?

: “...And not only that… What? Who? My son? Oh… I… can’t… I can’t believe it…”

Dr. Andonuts has jumped straight off the rocker since this world’s version of Earthbound. And if you haven’t picked up on the context clues (i.e. Foreshadowing/Gameplay), he’s also the one who orchestrated all the mindfuck crap going on in Winters.

Is he making orange juice in those chemistry thingies.

I’m pretty sure it’s human tang, actually.

No one drinks Tang.

: “...Every being in Winters, every being on Earth- no- every being in the universe...I sent them back in time to perish. If I can’t be with them today, what have I lived for? My life is meaningless.”

: “They...there…….have you……….. -oh god, you’ve come here to kill me, haven’t you -AH I don Don’t d d-DON’T KILL ME”

: “...You. You’re the one...You’re the one who did all this...right?”

: “*gasp* *gasp*’s right, you’re going to kill me, your eyes are full of murder your your oh those EYES you’re it’s NO those eyes came back

hahahhh ha ha ha ha so you came back, WELL *gasp*..*gasp*..


: “It generates a metaphysical realm in the mind of the user….I call this realm “Magicant.” In it, are your greatest desires, your deepest dreams, and your utmost fears.”

: “The world is dead and...I’ve become senile with guilt and rage. Please...please let an old man rest in peace.”
: "..."

The conversation over, Dr. Andonuts particles’ get disintegrated into the far depths of the aforementioned machine.

Let’s do this.

It’s decision time.

: “There’s some sort of ebb inside of it, like the belly of a pregnant demon…

These similes are getting more and more ridiculous.

: “As you slide your frigid fingers across the warm, thumping machine...The sense of the monster is stronger than ever.

The monster’s pungent odor invades your nose and fills your lungs.”

...Dr. Andonuts doesn’t wash or use deodorant? Like the rest of us?

Uh, ew.

: “...And you can feel the knife in your pocket. It’s cold, and hungry. There’s a monster here, and you have to kill it.

Your legs want to move, move toward the monster.”

: "So what do you want to do? What do you, Jerry, devil killer, Giygas destroyer…"

I’m cutting the update here. We have two choices: Kill Andonuts or ____.* Bold your vote, and we’ll go from there.