Part 11: FINPart 11: FIN
Radiations Halloween Hack OST - Twoson Love Theme
Everyone gets to level 17-18 offscreen. At this point, were overleveled for the final battle. With the amount of preparation Ive done, its unlikely that anyone will actually die.
Dont count your chickens before they hatch.
Said preparation entails a lot of Brain food lunches, a bunch of Horn of lives, and of course, a staggering amount of Hawaiian pizzas.
To the final battle.
: As you step between those two trees, the world melts away around you. Youre used to this by now.
...but this time is different.
As you make the step, you hit the ground hard. The world is beating purple and red around you. The ground is made of vile intestines.
You are inside the monster.
Your heart is burning, but it does not seem to be beating anymore. Your body is made of metal rubber. Your eyes are black holes. Your arms move robotically, heavy. Your legs are pulled forward, as if by magnets But theyre still so heavy.
Youre in a dark vacuum. There is no air and no heat. Theres nothing except pulsating violet.
You are inside the monster.
Earthbound OST - Giygas Lair
For some reason, weve reverted to Mother 1 sprites. With a few shadowy modifications to Jerry/Nintens face, of course.
I blame the 90s nostalgatards.
Im sure that stepping on a mans intestines cant be sanitary. Well, lets see where the desolate road takes us, shall we?
Is this ripping off Bowsers Inside Story?
It looks like...this is the end of the road.
Earthbound OST - Giygas' Intro
Suddenly, a hole opens up and a marshmallow monstrosity materializes out of nowhere. Its like a really bad Doctor Who episode.
Jesus Christ, kill that thing, now.
: Look at what this world has done to me. LOOK AT ME. HAHAHAHA, DO YOU SEE THIS?
Yes...yes I have. Youve turned into a marshmallow.
: Jerry...do you really think youre a hero? YOURE NOT A HERO...You kill people for money. Wheres the heroism in that? YOU WENT INTO AN OLD MANS MIND SO YOU COULD KILL HIM.
JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.
LEAVE ME ALONE.
but you wont, Jerry"
: he has to kill that monster, right? Jerry, even in this form i am shaking with fear
i dont want to die
leave me alone
go away and leave me alone
PUT THE KNIFE AWAY
you and your puny bodies...STAY BACK
And so Jerry (and his cohorts) will finish this off once and for all.
In other words, this is
The Final Battle.
ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWN *cheesy keyboard riff engaged*
Radiations Halloween Hack OST - Id
: Because Ive got a job to finish. I probably shouldve asked for more pay
1. the part of the psyche, residing in the unconscious, that is the source of instinctive impulses that seek satisfaction in accordance with the pleasure principle and are modified by the ego and the superego before they are given overt expression.
The Id, in its purest form, is a plot device that allows us to see the inner workings of Dr. Andonuts psych. All we have to do is thwack him around a couple of times until dialogue pops up.
Stop reminding me of 11th grade English psychoanalysis.
: leave me alone
please, please leave me be
: Sorry, old time. No can do.
Im not sure what Andonuts Id has to do with satisfaction, but its good at being instinctive and overly expressive.
why do you have to hunt me down
please just go away"
Wait...are those eyes on his body? I never noticed them before.
...I noticed them immediately, Eris.
: you would break down eventually
they are so full of bloodlust
when you look at me
i want to scream
One waling later
: dont hurt me
i have no weapon
QUIT PICKING ON ME
: A bit too late for that, pal.
: Youve done a good job. Youve slain the monster. I can feel the blood from my brain leaking into the rest of my body.
Its making me sad.
Im sorry I wasnt much of a fight, Jerry.
: Forgive you too, doc.
: well... I ohhhhhh urrrrrrgh
The screen shutters to black. Welp, here goes nothing
Earthbound OST - Giygas Stirs
: its hatred
for the person who came so far
just to destroy an old man
my mind is gone. all that is left is pure hatred."
Lets DO THIS.
Earthbound OST - Giygas Intimidation
Time for the final boss of the game: Dr. Andonuts. Some people have a hard time with him, but if you prepare, thisll go like a breeze.
I think hes constipated.
In Phase One of the battle, we should have Mom cast PSI Shield Zeta on everyone. Not Omega. Zeta. If we dont, Phase Four will utterly wreck us. OPs Barrier Zeta Omega is also a welcome reprieve, although its not as necessary.
: YOU SEE THIS ULTIMATE, UNLIMITED POWER? Jerry.
Radiations Halloween Hack OST - Megalovania (Listen!)
Clash With a Doctor Remix
Best track in the game.
: I HAVE FUCKING HAD IT WITH YOUR SHIT.
I AM NOW TRIGGERED, YOU CIS WHITE SCUM
: ill shove your asses so far down your throats
that when you crap
youll sing fucking beethoven
eat shit, faggots
Oh hey, I didnt know that /b/ created a romhack.
: Lets finish this, asshole.
Dr. Andonutss Offense is 24!
Defense is 32!
Vulnerable to PSI Fire!
Vulnerable to PSI Freeze!
Vulnerable to PSI Flash!
Vulnerable to Paralysis!
Open to Hypnosis!
Throughout the fight, Dr. Andonuts will go through multiple phases, changing his stats and vulnerability each time. Its in our interest to exploit those weaknesses.
As for this phase
ITS NOT A PHASE MOM, THIS IS WHO I REALLY AM.
...Whiteshock Alpha (PSI Flash) fits the bill. With any luck, the spell will kill him instantly, moving us along to Phase Two.
I get it in two turns. In the meantime, all of his spells are being dispersed by PSI Shield Zeta.
: ...go b a c k
youre...But your attacks are meaningless here! I am the master of this dimension. Jerry, Im going to burn you to such a crisp-
: After you.
Sandy, I need water....
Weve just entered Phase Two. This time, hes weak to Freeze. The strategy here is to cast Freeze Alpha/Beta and smack him until Phase 3 slides in.
But before that, well have everyone equip the Fire pendants from last update. Just in case a shield sputters out and Mom doesnt have enough PP.
As you can probably tell, each Phase has its own gimmicks. Phase Twos gimmick is fire attacks.
Occasionally, Andonuts will bypass our shields with an attack. However, due to the Fire pendant, this is rendered a moot inconvenience.
Soon enough, we kick Phase Two straight out the gutter.
: Its not right not right not right...
argh! you fags
Youre all fags
and if fire didnt extinguish you"
: enjoy the freezing temperature of space
Now is a good moment to equip the H20 pendant instead.
Phase 3s gimmick is all about ice. And do you know whats effective against ice?
Andonuts seems more like a schoolground bully than a massive threat.
Cold. Hot. Fire. Since I dont have Flame Beta however, it deals a meager amount of damage. At that point, its better to stick with physical attacks.
We need to keep Moms PP up for the next phase, in order to reinforce the shield. So bottoms up the Brain food lunch, I suppose.
Sure, why not? Its his world -he can probably do Matrix-level crap in here.
Unfortunately, I kill him too fast to show off his Freeze Omega. Oh well.
: ...Im h a p p y
you are going to die here
your puny psychic abilities are nothing compared to mine
you are going to suffer the greatest psychic attack
prepare to have your mind beg for mercy
Throughout the next couple of turns, Dr. Andonuts will start drawing in an incredible amount of power. While you might think that its a free reprieve to bank and tackle him to the ground, its not a good idea.
Dr. Andonuts used Focus Energy! Dr. Andonuts is pumping up!
Every time we try to hit the slippery bastard, he dodges out of the way like Ciaphas Cain on crack. On top of that, any spells we try to lay on him will only do 1 hit point of damage.
Every 3-4 turns, Dr. Andonuts will unleash his special PSI attack: PSI Bitchkill Omega. Its the most powerful spell in the game, dealing damage upwards to 15,000+. And thats just Jerry.
However, if you did as I said and reinforced everyone with PSI Shield Zeta, the spell should dissipate harmlessly. If you disregarded my warning and cast PSI Shield Omega, youre going to see a game over screen soon.
So how do we counter this? Whiteshock Alpha. We just have to cast and pray that the spell will screw him over.
Got him in three tries this time.
: "At your service.
: It hurts, Jerry...
: Being stabbed does that to you.
: NO! why cant I
I AM DONE FOOLING AROUND
I AM JUST GOING TO KILL YOU
After the thwarting of his plans, Dr. Andonuts resorts to kicking us in the crotch really hard. No, Im not joking. He really does that.
Getting his face caved in somehow diamondized OP.
The last phase is more of an annoyance than anything else. In addition to the physical attacks, the good doctor likes to heap status effects with the efficiency of a phone salesman.
Then could you call this...Death of a Salesman?
Everyones HP is brought back to max.
Dr. Andonuts somehow misses. Welp, I guess thats a death sentence for him.
And Jerry ends the battle with a SMAAAAAASHHHH! An appropriate conclusion, wouldnt you say?
Earthbound OST - Giygas Disintegrates
: Even when Im in my own mind. Even when Im fighting for my life. I guess I guess Im better off dead.
You remind me a lot of my sons friend. Hahaha. Im...Im going to go now. I feel really exhausted. So
Jerry! If we ever meet again Youre going to...get the...sh
: Parkour, bitch.
shit beaten out of you?
And thats a wrap.
Lies and slander.
: Hes dead. ...not really feelin that much about it. You feel a little like this situation could have been avoided.
Oh, well. You really did have a choice...You could have stopped altogether Or kept going.
Hes lying there still, looking up. Hes probably in heaven now, or something. Oh well, mission accomplished.
: Time for a beer.
: You probably should have worn a little bit more. Sure, there are monsters running around, but whats the big deal?
Youre a bounty hunter.
You smile a little. Its kind of funny how you eradicate the rest of your monsters on the walk back. On the way, a SWAT team comes into the area and thanks you.
They give you an airlift back to Twoson.
Radiations Halloween Hack OST - Twoson Love Theme
: There are kids running around talking about their costumes,-
: ...Minus four or five.
: -and pumpkins lining houses. Absolutely nothings changed. Its Halloween today, I guess. Thats pretty cute. Jerry, youre probably just gonna drink and find some cute girl to spend the night with.
Pretty boring existence.
But its fun. Youve had a pretty rough day. Why dont you take a rest?"
Earthbound OST - Because I Love You
: You sleep and think a little. Pirkles trying to take credit for the fact that you killed the monster and get re-elected.
The people are smart enough in this town to vote for someone who isnt a fearmongering crook.
Well, okay, you dont really sleep. Youre having a little trouble. You sit on the edge of your bed, thinking. You laugh a little, because you just realized you sleep in chain mail. Youre a pretty ridiculous person.
You think that its pretty cool...What you mean to say is
Even though you dont have a wife or kids...People still like you. You have good self-esteem, and youre strong and pretty smart. Even though theres no real meaning to your life, you enjoy it.
Whats up with all this moral crap? Lets just go to sleep now, really
Your eyes are normal, you have a working head. Nothings on fire or made of concrete or something stupid
So why cant you go to "
Then you just kinda laughed, cuz it was dumb. You slept pretty well after that.
And thats the end.
Radiations Halloween Hack OST - Megalovania
Welp, Megalovania plays here, but you know what? Lets end this, typical Brandish fashion.
And, because Im lazy, Im letting symbolic take the Where Are They Now? Epilogue.
Jerry Toraernos was arrested five years later for beating a homeless man to death, and for having a stupid surname. Hes currently living out the rest of his life in a prison somewhere in Greece.
Mom Polestar married into the family of a wealthy Foursidian and spent the next few years as a prominent socialite. However, the great recession that hit the city rendered them bankrupt. Now she works at a pharmacy in Threed.
Ban Andonuts turned to his other true passion in life; professional gambling. Learning to card-count quite effectively, he made over $2 million before he was caught. After donating most of the winnings to charity, he now leads a quiet life somewhere in South America.
OP Dalaam found inner peace by traveling to Tibet, where he reached spiritual enlightenment through meditation. He wanders throughout Southeastern Asia, preaching the empowerment he received from his travels.
Pirkle McPirkle eventually rose up the political ladder. He was elected as a Democratic senator from Eagleland and served four terms. He passed away just last year, hailed as one of the most enigmatic congressmen in recent memory.
Id just like to say that I hate you.
But I love you.
Anyways, that's it.
: Hi, do you mind telling me where the nearest laundromat is? I need to wash all this blood off