Part 45: Unity FestivalUnity Festival
Do you like dialogue? Because today's festival provided 460 screenshots' worth of dialogue. For comparison, a normal two-day update is about 500 screenshots, many of which are of things that never make it to the update itself(boring dialogue, duplicate screenshots of events, etc).
We're railroaded directly to festival events. Luckily I'll have plenty of time later to water crops.
Did I keep you waiting?
No, I just got here.too, actually.
Oh, that's a relief! Shall we, then?
I'll lead the way!
Thanks again for agreeing to accompany me today. It means a lot.
Is something wrong?
I've just been thinking...After everything I've said about the Hornless, am I really welcome? Are you sure that I won't be causing any trouble?
Don't worry about it. Everyone's accepted you. You'd cause more trouble if you DIDN'T come!
You have a point there.
No cold feet allowed. The festival must go on!
It'd help if you'd stop stopping every few feet to talk.
As long as you're here, I know the Unity Festival will go well.
I'd make a snide comment about how this clearly isn't everyone in town, but considering this number of characters is already murdering the framerate enough to audibly slow the music...
Kuruna, please wait by the tree.
Indeed I do.
And...Kuruna, I believe you have something to say now?
Maybe you should stop using the vaguely racist term for humans? Maybe?
I'm the univir elder. I oversee every single decision in our settlement.
And despite that, I had opposed the Unity Festival until the very end.
But my mind and heart were closed. I did not see the Hornless as anything but savages. But I don't see savages in front of me. Instead, I feel kindness.
Thanks, Kuruna. I know that had to be hard for you.
Fade to white. Well, that was quick.
Actually, no, it's not. Everyone in town has something unique to say(as usual for a festival), and they also have completely different unique things to say if we talk to them while Kuruna's tagging along with us.
I wasn't kidding about the dialogue.
I'd like to meet all the Hornless in town. Could you introduce me?
Let's go, then! It's time to meet some Hornless!
The true purpose of the unity festival is reminding you how insane everyone is now that you've had several in-game seasons to get used to them. Remember that Kuruna has never met any of these people before.
And I bid you the warmest of greetings as well! Hmm...Aren't you a little...young to be an "elder"?
I'm actually older than you.
Something something nine thousand year old demon.
Ah, that's right. The univir are quite long-lived. I should've known better.
No, I don't mind. I take it as a compliment.
Now that the main ceremony's done, Wells is the only person left in the plaza. People do move a bit throughout the day, which is annoying for keeping track of who I have and haven't talked to yet, but it's managable.
So...I know this is out of nowhere, but what kind of food do you like?
Hmm...Cake and Yam Dessert are amazing...And one bite of Chocolate Cake is just pure bliss!
Yeah! Yeah! Chocolate!
Mmm... Just thinking of it makes my mouth WATER!
And my eyes water that I'm not eating it THIS VERY SECOND!
They're really hitting it off!
Gotta lower her guard before we get to the really crazy people.
Well, I'm from out of town, so I don't even know or care about what happened between you and the humans. I'm just happy to meet some new neighbors!
You'll stop by our bath, won't you, Kuruna?
I'll try to make some time.
This is just the greeting bit I usually cut out, not festival dialogue, but Pia's still being weird(er than usual).
So cool! I bet you're fast swimmers! Oh, but if you swam in the bath--
it'd be way dangerous?!
Note that Link doesn't attempt to explain Pia at all. He knows it's futile.
Oh, I didn't mean any disrespect! I'm Sakuya. Oh, by the way, I have a question about that thingie on your shoulder!
What about him?
Have you thought of using him as a ventriloquist's dummy? I bet it'd be a real moneymaker!
A ventriloquist's dummy?
WHAT A DUMMY! WHAT A DUMMY!
What?! We've met before?
Indeed! It's been a long time, Horn Girl!
I'm pretty sure I would've remembered someone who called me "Horn Girl"...
Sherman has an...odd way of communicating, to say the least! Just flip what he says to the opposite!
That defies logic!
The feeling is mutual! It's like passing a kidney stone to meet you, Horn Girl!
I...should get out of here before my brain turns to mush!
Over by the Sharance Tree, Zaid and Ondorus are avoiding interacting with anyone new. Relatable.
...What does that even mean, Zaid? Just make sure you behave, okay?
I'll be good.
You know, I'm 99% sure Zaid only exists because the settlement would have been kind of sad if it was only Kuruna and Ondorus. He manages to be a less impactful character than Blaise, of all people.
I have caused you so much anguish.
Don't worry about it. I was merely waiting for the moment your conscience would awaken.
Thank you for your patience.
Back to actual introductions.
Nice to meet you, too, Shara. What do you do here in town?
I work in my grandfather's flower shop.
Is that where the bouquet was made?
Actually...I made that myself.
You did? It...moved me tremendously.
Thanks, but I still have a lot to learn.
If that's the case, I can't wait to see your next arrangement! I've never seen flowers exude such...emotion before. It was truly a cathartic experience.
I'm glad I was able to be a part of bringing our communities together.
Yes. It was all Shara. I didn't put any blood, sweat, tears, or farm time into getting the stuff for the bouquet.
Hmm...It appears Hornless children are much cuter than I had been led to believe.
Your horn is pretty!
You...really think so?
It is! It's so...sharp! I wish I had a horn, too!
What's that red thing? Is that part of your hair, Kuru?
NO! Why would you think that?!
Oh, a horn. Can I touch it? Paint it? Carve it? Draw it?
Wh-Why are you just standing there smiling?! Who IS this crazy lady?!
This is Daria. Be careful, she's kinda...dangerous.
Why didn't you WARN me?!
Because she's pretty great when she's not trying to paint everything rainbow. Also when she is.
So who's Horn Babe?
Ahem! I'm Kuruna, the univir elder.
Cool. 'Sup, elder? I'm Carlos. I run a fishing resort with my sister. Bring your horn on down.and get to fishin'!
I will, uh, take your suggestion under advisement.
Well, I guess it's nice to know I'm not the only one.
Ahem! I'm Kuruna, the univir elder. Nice to meet you!
G-Good to meet you! I'm Carmen!
I run a fishing resort with my brother. It's, uh, nice to meet you. ...And that's all I got.
Anyway, stop by our resort, Horn Chick!
: "Have you considered fishing? We have some personality traits, but 99% of what we do revolves around fishing. We fucking love fishing. You want to fish too, right? Everyone loves fishing, RIGHT?!"
I'm the head chef! If you want the best in human cuisine, stop on by!
Interesting. Do you have any...cake?
Do I EVER!
Oh. This is certainly an...interesting development. Yes, most interesting. Perhaps I will stop by!
Ah, you run it all by yourself?
No, I actually have--
On second thought, yes. Yes, I do run it all by myself.
Uh...I get the feeling I'm not getting the whole story here.
What did I do to deserve this?! Didn't I raise her right...?
Raise who right?
Uh, let's get out of here, Kuruna!
Why don't we just have some fun?
O-Okay! Y-Y-You're right!
Collette managed to be so nervous she avoided showing Kuruna her character tic. Impressive!
Hmmm. Too bad.
Horns have a lot of properties so they're great for making medicine. But they don't get any new ones that grow in. That's just too bad...
P-Please don't mind her. It's just the way she is.
"Also nobody in town ever tries to do something about her being a constant health hazard. Just get good at running away from her syringe-revolver, it'll be fine."
I'm going to take a moment to point out how terribly Kuruna's cape is handled on her model. It basically acts as a stiff board. Which looks fine when she's facing forward but is really noticable when she's moving, especially from the side.
It's not a job. It's a lifestyle.
You're so humble. I can't believe that you and Zaid are both dwarves!
I'm not sure about the whole "humble" thing...
Yeah, it's more that I'm too lazy to go outside. I get bored doing anything but forging.
How could you not want to experience nature's bounty?!
Don't try to figure Gaius out. That's just how he rolls.
After all, I've heard rumors about you even when I was a little girl!
No, I should be apologizing, Kuruna.
Why do you say that?
Because I hated you. Without even knowing why. Just because I was told to hate.
Don't feel bad. It was the same with me.
I never even thought of it that way...
And just think! All we had to do was talk.
And I hope we get the chance to do that a lot more in the future!
That would be really nice, Marjorie.
If only ending irl racism was as simple as ending video game racism. "Oh, we just talked to each other and now I realize I was an idiot who just hated you because someone told me to. RACISM: SOLVED."
Uh...have we met?
I can't wait to start a long, meaningful friendship with you!
But...you said we'd already met?
Please come by when you're busy! We can hit the town!
How could we hit the town if I'm busy...?
I like that Sherman merits an explanation of the opposite-speak, but Sofia doesn't. Sink or swim, Kuruna!
I'm the univir elder.
I work at our weapon shop.
Do you...hate me?
Evelyn, your clothes...defy description.
Thank you! I design them all myself! And I'll make you some clothes as well, Kuruna!
I'm...not sure if I want that.
You will wear a cape made of fish scales and turnips, and you will like it.
Karina works at the general store.
Ah, it's good to see the Hornless value a strong work ethic!
I wouldn't reach that conclusion if I were you. At least in Karina's case.
(Hey, don't spill my secret.)
(I don't think that's much of a secret.)
Now that I've finally talked to everyone in town, I think it's time for a breather. And what better way to take a break than by murdering slimes?
Kuruna's a mage, incidentally.
Even though I'm in the middle of a historic unification festival, I can still still take Kuruna on a date. Really. And...the game was obviously not set up to anticipate this, judging by the time paradox dialogue here.
This is also when I realized I've been using the wrong music for dates all this time. Oops. I'm sure the five people who click the music links will be heartbroken.
Why is that?
Shara told me that there were flowers here.
You're pretty close to Shara these days. When did you become friends?
Good question, considering Kuruna only met her an hour or two ago!
After the Unity Festival, she began to visit our settlement. I'd speak to Shara by the tree, and we became close.
Um, yes...I suppose she is...
I'm not sure that this is the time or the place to say that, though.
Link: Densest motherfucker alive.
Y-You have a good point...I'm sorry.
Shara's flowers are always so elegant. I'm really a fan of her work.
A fan of a friend?
Yes, that's right.
You could learn how to coordinate from her.
I know the basics, but what you really need is good taste.
You should really visualize your responses in you head before saying them.
I was just surprised.
And because it's pretty great too:
>Not making them?
Were you listening?
I want to see your flowers.
But my flowers...
What's wrong with them?
Well...I don't understand it...But my flowers began to fight each other.
Ondorus said it was probably the influence of my magic.
That's pretty crazy.
It doesn't make me happy at all.
Yes, they can be a great source of comfort.
Yes. Being alone is sad...
That's not true.
Really? When you're alone, you seem a bit sad.
No I don't...I usually think of sweet snacks, so I should look happy.
I don't suppose maybe you're just longing for sweets.
That could be it.
And because it's funny again:
That's not true.
Really? I heard from Ondorus.
That when you were young, the thunder--
Noooo!!! Noooo!!! Noooo!!!
And now back to the festival.
Once it's late enough in the day, everyone has new things to say! I'll spare you the boring ones this time around.
Uh, on second thought, maybe we shouldn't!
What the hell were you expecting?!
In fact, I'm not sure how we're even the same species!
That's because they're not. Gaius is Dwarfius Coolius and Zaid is Dwarfius Boringus. Obviously.
Yue's not interested in our historic reunification event, but she does have a pretty sweet axe for sale.
...and then I do save trickery to go back to 9AM(but I still have that axe in the 'real' save), because there's more dialogue for talking to everyone without Kuruna in tow.
That's a great idea!
Cool! Can you think of a good horn-related joke?
That's YOUR job!
My job?! It's YOUR routine!
Okay Hazel, I know Karina must be frustrating to live with, but maybe it's time to turn down the savagery a little.
They should've rephrased that to a single "human."
Are you copying Sofia?
What do you mean?
Really, it's a wonderful festival. (All you do is talk?)
Yeah. (I don't mind 'em. They gave me a day off.)
You three need to work on your communication skills.
Sometimes I wish you would've shown up here sooner...but nothing we can do about that now.
We're not here to talk about the past. We're here to build a future!
Indeed. I believe today represents the foundation of an unwavering alliance!
And just think! Who could've even dreamed of that as recently as last week?
Maybe you should have hired one for this year, Link. You knew the risks!
After a long day of talking, Link vents his frustrations by murdering monsters with a carrot.
It does an okay job.
Next time: A return to normal(for certain definitions of normal).