Part 58: Age of AquaticusAge of Aquaticus
Music: Home Sweet Home
Welcome back. Link's learned the hard way that status effects don't heal when you go to bed. Don't ask me why that's the case, it just is.
It's also Karina's birthday today, but for some mysterious reason I'm having trouble giving a fuck.
It wasn't a big deal, but Kuruna was mad. She wasn't happy with me practicing.
Oh, my, I think it was because you broke the tent...
And Zaid is still a moron.
That's nice, you're not getting anything. Seriously, all her likes are gemstones(except diamonds, which she hates. Presumably because her mom loves them.) and her loved items are jewelery. That's more than I feel like wasting just for birthday gift dialogue.
Cucumbers and turnips are ready. But the Pink Turnips are still growing.
Oh, this isn't for my daughter's birthday or anything!
"I-it's not like I care about my daughter or anything! Baka!"
Incidentally, you can try outright buying the crops for the Dragon Cave, but you're relying on luck for the right ones being in stock. Hazel only carries 5 or so different types of produce each day, and that includes things like bamboo shoots & the tree fruit you gather in the dungeons. Way easier to just buy the seeds.
On that note, I murder a couple yam plants to make way for glorious spinach.
And the Pink Turnip's coming in fast.
Fun fact: Even though Link's (engaged to be) married, the requests from the other girls don't go away. Even the obviously romantic ones. Nothing but your conscience is stopping you from being the town playboy.
Things I love: Mining, growing crops, not having anything interesting to show off.
OK, this is semi-interesting. I'd want one of these if I was taking the Sharance Labyrinth even remotely seriously - it shortens each floor to its entrance and the boss room, turning it from something only a literal insane person would attempt to mere tedious engame bullshit.
It's tomorrow(the days seriously go quick when you don't even have dialogue or quests to distract yourself with) and Carmen's got yesterday's news for us. Thanks, Carmen.
I hear they make a pretty good Wood and Rock and Flavored Radish and Miso Eggplant and Dried Sardines.
Shara gives me an apple pie, and I engage in the time honored tradition of giving it right back to her. God help us if characters in HM-alikes ever learn to keep track of which items they gave you.
This is why you didn't get any birthday presents from me, Karina.
But hey, who cares about her, the Pink Turnips are in!
And what better way to celebrate than by making a sword of out poison spores, a giant fingernail, an insect hide, two smaller swords, and some gold?
I'm not a weaponologist but I don't think you'd actually get a very good weapon out of that.
But making this improbable weapon gave Link the skill to learn how to make even more weapons, including hanzo steel.
...along with higher tier farm tools. If Dwarf Fortress has taught me anything, it's that gold is actually a very good material for hammers because it's high-density.
Alright, back to the dungeon. A warp point appears to let you go to the island without needing a lilypad magic seed or water-walking shoes, but beware - you'll need one of those to get through the dungeon.
Deep thoughts: Where, exactly, is Link putting all these turnips?
The next room has a narrow path that make it hard to just race past enemies. Still not a challenge, though.
And right afterwards is the room you need a lilypad or water shoes for. Luckily it transports you just as well when it's sealed.
The "you cannot leave the room until beating all the enemies inside" trick would be a lot more threatening if I couldn't just Escape back to the dungeon entrance whenever I was in danger. It'd also help if the enemies were actual threats.
Statue #2 is our old friend Skelefang.
Uh...I don't think Cucumbers make good replacements for bones!
Moving right along since I had the Cucumbers already.
And we've looped back to the entrance. But with the impassable winds gone, a new path has opened up.
There's an immediate fork in the road, but the correct way to go is left.
Link has basic pattern recognition?
Figures they'd want more than the other statues, with two mouths to feed!
No Spinach yet, so let's skip to tomorrow.
...when Hazel is conveniently selling Spinach.
That's good, because several months of growing yams nonstop has wrecked the growth potential of this soil. Spinach is supposed to grow in two days, and it's been that long without it even sprouting!
Finally, I never have to harvest a Cucumber again.
And here's something that would have been very nice to have much earlier. One full charge of the Rainbow Waterpot can water half the field at once!
Move aside, I have grocery store brand spinach!
This mining spot spits out almost nothing but delicious gold and platinum. It's also far enough away from monster spawns that you can mine in peace without murdering everything first, unlike most mining spots in other dungeons().
The rest of the room just exists to annoy you with curvy pathways.
Man, Death Wall looks goofy as hell in statue form.
You can fix cracks in ice with Turnip...?
Apparently Link's just been carrying those around for the past year.
Translation: FINAL BOSS INCOMING.
Don't come any closer!
I...don't know! But I know I can't be with you!
Are you the one who kidnapped her?!
Give her back!
Impossible. Monsters and humans must not intermingle.
What are you talking about?
She would only be unhappy with a half-breed like you. You will only cause her pain and torment because of your vile form.
...I don't have to listen to this!
I shall grant her freedom. Freedom from you, Link!
...How do you know my name?!
That is why I took control of her mind and brought her here. I will keep her until she forgets you ever existed. Link, I order you to leave Sharance! Forget about her. Take your vile half-breed form back from whence it came!
I trust her!
As you wish.
Click here to watch the fight! Or don't, and just read the screenshot version with commentary. Whichever. Or do both. I'm not your boss.
Music: VS Aquaticus
Aquaticus problem one: He's constantly circling around the arena, making it hard to hit him and harder to do any meaningful combos or charge attacks. I generally favor the slower, harder-hitting weapons, but he's one case where it'd probably be easier to use the weaker-but-faster weapons. It doesn't make enough of a difference to stop me from kicking his ass, though.
The most annoying of his attacks is probably this bubble move, which both paralyzes you and temporarily puts you to sleep if you get hit by any of them. Make sure you bring lots of Para-Gone or a paralysis cure spell, or else you'll be in for a hell of a time.
Another of his attacks is just biting you. Simple, but effective.
Like every other boss, he turns red when his health gets low enough. This makes him even faster and more annoying to hit, and makes all his attacks hit hard enough that you'll be chugging lots of recovery potions.
Summoning these things is probably his least dangerous attack. They hang around for a bit and shoot weak lasers at you. Woo.
Aquaticus' own laser, on the other hand, is one of his most dangerous attacks - it's enough to take off over half of Link's HP in one go! On the bright side, it also levels up Link's Defense skill pretty easily.
Him going back to his talking position is your cue to hug the borders of the arena. He does that right before summoning a whirlpool in the middle of the room, which does a lot of damage if you get dragged into it.
Keep it up long enough and he'll do his final attack, pushing Link to the bottom of the arena in the process. (People who watched the video may notice he said something different there. I'm not entirely sure what triggers the different lines, but I'm guessing it has something to do with how I was hugging the bottom wall at that part of the video vs hanging out near the top here.)
Stop, Link! If you don't stop then you'll...
I won't give up! I WILL NEVER GIVE UP!
You literally cannot die here. Just keep moving forward. It's symbolic or something.
Take a single swing at Aquaticus and it's over.
I'm sorry, Link!
Pia, you don't need to apologize!
I mean, I love you and stuff...
But I didn't know if it was really okay that a monster and mermaid could be together!
I hurt you! And I'm sorry!
Don't worry about it.
I trust you completely!
And I've never stopped loving you!
Really? You're awesome-tastic!
What are YOU doing here?!
We have no reason to do battle now. I would like to propose a truce.
A truce? Why?
I apologize for using you. I wanted the Sharance flowers to bloom...that tree uses the "bond beyond the races" to make its flowers bloom. And if the flowers do not blossom, this land will wither and die...but the univir and humans no longer lived together. So I decided to take action. It was you, Link, who gave me hope.
I needed someone who would understand both univir and humans. I stole your memories and brought you to this land. It was a gamble to see if you would be the bridge between the two races...but you were able to heal old wounds. You even came here to challenge me over love! It appears that my intuition was indeed correct.
I regret putting you through this. Please forgive me.
I...don't know what to say.
"You're an asshole who probably could have done this in a less complicated and life-altering way, for starters."
If you so choose, I can return your last memory and send you back to your homeland.
See? Asshole move for no reason. Why can't Link get the rest of his memories back and stay here? Other than setting up a stupid test for plot purposes, I mean.
I'm going to be That Person for a minute: What about the people left behind from Link's old life? Wouldn't they be worried sick, or mourning his assumed death? It's implied his homeland is too far away for him to just make a quick trip there and back to Sharance, but couldn't Aquaticus let us write a letter or something so they know Link's alive and happy, at the least?
It's me, I'm the person who overthinks "amnesiac is tossed into strange new world, grows to love it there, and decides to abandon their forgotten old life and stay when given the choice" plots.
Now the Sharance flowers will finally blossom.
Yeah. I bet we could both use a nice, long bath...
And with that, we're booted directly to the wedding.
Here's the wedding in video form as well, including the credits:
These are definitely some...unique...wedding outfits.
Most of the characters have generic wedding dialogue, but your bride's friends and family obviously get a bit more detailed. You go in the same order no matter way, Pia just has the fortune of us hitting the inn first.
Congratulations! Just remember to keep practicing, OK?
Thank you! Baths are still important!
Ah, that's not what I was talking about!
They've still got it.
Call me Mom.
Pia, your home will always be our home. That will never change.
Come back any time. Pia.
And now it's nothing but generic dialogue. Most of these are one sentence plus "congratulations!".
You know, this is a really weird wedding setup. Why are we walking around town greeting people in small groups? Other than making it more obvious that the devs really wanted us to marry Shara, that is. (If you haven't watched the video, well, you'll see by the end. )
I'm sure there will be zero fighting as long as we never let Pia see us making sashimi.
She wants to tell you that she wishes you the best.
Have a happy life, right?
Jeez Evelyn, let your family speak for themselves.
I'd tell Hazel to settle the fuck down, but it does only take three weeks post-marriage for your wife to get pregnant...
Why yes, they did make Shara's family last, in the spot full of flowers, which is Shara's favorite spot. What do you mean nobody wants to marry Shara???
And now, on to the actual ceremony. Which is only attended by Shara and Monica, and officiated by Wells. Thanks, entire rest of town.
in sickness and in health, until death do you part?
Pia, do you take this man as your husband, to love forever, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?
Wonderful! May you have the blessing of the land and the trees.
Remember: You, the viewing audience, are the ones responsible for this.
Incidentally, here are the 'wacky' names from the other bachelorettes:
Shara, Karina, Sofia, Raven, Daria - Woolykins ()
Collette - Dumpling
Marian - Guinea Pig ()
Sakuya - Sweet Stuff
Carmen - Minnow
Kuruna has no wacky names at all. You get the boring nickname choices of Dear, Honey, and Sweetie.
Oh, OK then. I wanted to see a wooly fish.
I wouldn't be able to swim, because I'd absorb all of the water.
I think that life with you will be tons of fun, Fishy! Let's be together forever, Fishy!
Yes. Of course!
Once you're married, your wife will give you food(technically. Sakyua will give you Failed Dishes and Super Fails in her rotation, and Shara gives you a bunch of flowers because of course she does) every day. In Pia's case, she gives you squid dishes. Please try to contain your surprise.
Your wife also gets new dialogue post-marriage. You'd think Link would have stopped questioning Pia and baths by now, but nope!
So now's probably a good time to talk about the end of this LP. There's a bit more to do after getting married, but I have some concrete goals in mind:
1)See one child born. I specify the number because you can have up to three children. Considering it takes three weeks for your wife to get pregnant and another three for her to give birth, that's way more time than I feel like investing to get three kids.
2)Finish the postgame only bulletin board quests. It's really only one questline and it goes fast, but it involves Gaius, so it's time well-spent.
3)See all of the festivals at least once. This one will take care of itself as I wait on the kid to be born.
To fill in some of the deadtime I'll be doing the Sharance Labyrinth, but I don't hate myself enough to get all the way to the end. It's just a parade of buffed-up old bosses from RF1 and 2, with another Aquaticus fight at the very end.
Marrying Pia doesn't give us free baths, or even discounted baths. I mean, 300 gold is nothing by now, but still.
This isn't even the highest tier of farm tools. By the time you hit platinum-tier tools, you won't even need them anymore.
I'm going to be continuing my trend of having the days go by insanely quick, since, well, there's not much else to show now. Today was so boring new dialogue from Blaise made the cut.
Huh? Not apples to apples?
(Your wife can comment on the furniture in your house. Which in my case is just some stuffed
And now to end this overly-long update.