Part 27: Let's Loot And Scoot

Howdy, folks, and welcome back! Last time, on Secret of Evermore, we received a mission from the Queen to open the road to Ebon Keep so that her army could kill the shit out of everyone left there; York agreed, as he's a moron. Today, we're going to put that Key we got in the vents to use, grab some free loot, and then get headed toward Ebon Keep, so let's boogie.



This isn't a very long update, as it's mostly grabbing loot and doing a small maze, but let's enjoy the ride.



Next update is the kind that makes an LP'er want to stick their genitals in a vise, just for how the hell to lay it out.



It's the worst maze yet, one with a terrible gimmick, a missable formula and a missable Charm.





I'm standing right next to a door that's locked; our Key won't open it. How unusual...



Moving on, we start our collect-a-thon in the dining room.



I won't turn down Wax. It's useful in Crush, which is useful in all situations.





This is a nice looking place. I really dig the atmosphere and design.





These doors will still be locked and forever closed if we didn't get the Key as Zach. And once we've reached this point, there's no way to go back for it.



That will seal off these items to us, and lock us out of a swanky new alchemy formula.



Of all of York's dumbassitude, he still won't fall into these vents.





Feathers will be very useful, very soon. Though, I do feel bad for making someone's pillow shittier just so I can magically blow stuff up.





Of all the ingredients we've found, this might be the most logical spot for what we've found. Barring some of the roots from the first part of the game.





I could find a use for these in the future. Maybe next update as, seriously, that maze completely sucks balls.



And someone is storing their liquor in the bookshelf. It's probably next to Frankenstein.



Seriously, if there was one book that would make someone want a drink, it's Frankenstein.



Or any of the Dune stuff not written by Frank Herbert.





That staircase to the right is our way out of here, but we've still looting to do.



That staircase leads to another bit of loot, but we'll get there.



If Corrosion wasn't total shit, I'd be down for using it more. I'd be happier to find Mushrooms if they were used in more than a single damned formula.



Feathers are extremely expensive when we can buy them. You'll see in a minute.



But know that I literally just found, in the last two shots, a thousand Gold Coins worth of Feathers.



This door leads to the big prize.



And the old lady that we found in the vents?



She's been down there for fucking years and nobody has found her! She just fell into the vents and has been lost ever since!



Fuck you, I found her in a secret passage as a poodle! I'm keeping your key for a minute!







There's some more Lance castings. I've kept it in my wheel of formulas as a backup to Crush and Fire Ball. It's good having a couple of different formulas that don't require the same ingredients, so that I don't screw myself.



Hey, cool, Honey!

I guess.





Alright, asshat, here's your key.



Keep in mind, we will never see his wife again. At this point, it's safe to assume she's dead, having become lost, crazy, blind and crippled down in the vents, wondering why nobody ever came looking.





...You know, sir, we all make mistakes. Maybe you did try and look. Maybe she didn't want to be found.



Or maybe she's eaten her own hands in her quest to find freedom, wondering if the ambulatory, purple azalea bush will ever come back.





We've got plenty of Brimstone already.



Feathers, not so much, and we won't be getting any for a while. I've got enough money to afford four Feathers, but these guys only sell in their allotted amounts.



Unfortunately, the game doesn't allow you to sell ingredients. I'd have far too much money if it did. And then I could afford other ingredients and when I had too many of those and needed to sell them off, I could afford other ingredients, and repeat the cycle.





Alright, we've finished up there, so let's get to the scooting part of this update.





Straight into a maze!



Though, this one isn't anything to write home about. It's pretty short and easy to navigate.





It's hard to see here, but Fire Power will freeze a target in place and pelt it with fireballs.



It's also extremely powerful; this is the beginning level of it, and multi-targeted. Bone Buzzards have shit magic defense, sure, but c'mon, look at that damage!



If you follow the loop around, you'll reach the chessboard quickly.



We finally get to see that chessboard everyone talks about!



And this goofy asshole is the Foot Knight (no, I'm not bullshitting you), who is a boss only because the game says so and plays the music for him.



He's got 2,400 HP to take down, with alright defenses, both ways.



His only attack is to charge at you and poke you with his little spear.



It's about as effective as it sounds.





Just kick the shit out of him and move on. He's not worth worrying about otherwise.



And he only drops 850 EXP and 200 Gold when killed, too, which is kind of a pittance from a boss right now.



But he does explode.



Don't be that proud, York. Seiren originally challenged me to do this fight with just the Horn Spear, no alchemy and no Dog, and it took me about five minutes, and I think I took a total of 19 damage.



And there's the staircase getting us down below.





Fuck off, Bone Buzzards.



Two interesting things in this shot; that Bone Buzzard is about to be exploded violently, and there's that thing that Tiny tossed a few updates ago.



And that's all that York has to say about that.



I'm glad our protagonist is so involved, clear-headed, logical and inquisitive.



And here's the exit of this transition area.



Which leads us to a scene of Caesar meeting with the Queen.



That's not Pompolonius, despite appearances.



Though, he does have a name that sounds like the noise you make with a quiet, angry, wet fart.





I'm not sure why the Queen is holding court with someone from Nobilia, but we've seen that Evermore is connected before. Strong Heart is a member of a Nobilia alchemy guild, if you'll remember.



York is down with extermination of those guys; he probably won't consider listening to those poors anyhow.



Yeah, I doubt that. I've killed a few dragons in my day, lady.



Send your army! I'll kick the shit out of them, too.



I've got enough Crushes for everyone!





On that image, we fade to black and back to the heroic duos.





He's not bullshitting you. It's best to get in and get the hell out.





I also speak softy and carry a furious femur.



We're leaving off here. Why, you ask?

The Forest is next update, and you'll see why I'm going to take my time in getting that one ready to go. It's going to be a huge pain in the ass, but we'll see how it goes.

Until then, stay tuned!