Part 3: Damsel in Distress
Chapter 3: Damsel in Distress
Mayor Regis finally relents, because the last time he didn't buy into Billy's story when she came in talking about the [Warrior of Light], she stood in his doorway for three days straight. It was all entirely inconvenient.
"Mother, I hate you."
There's a lot of penis nickname jokes to be had here, but damned if I can't think of one.
Basically, Regis talks for another five bubbles about how Westa should bring Tallgeese downstairs before he finally gets fed up and comes down on his own.
So basically Regis thanks our hero...
... then proceeds to lecture him.
"No one is that stupid."
"Well maybe I am, okay"
You see, the whole idea behind the Earth Federation's laws about not showing off your high-tech shit on backwards planets has nothing to do with screwing up the natural order of things. It's more about not having to put up with shit like this.
... Because Swords of Light generally tend not to have batteries? And are usually shaped like swords? I dunno.
Well now that they're talking about pretty much nothing, this isn't a bad time to point out that picture on the wall there. Does it look familiar?
Anyway.
Tallgeese isn't dumb, he knows that this is going to take for fucking EVER.
They are really creative on this planet.
"chance against a meteorite that is able to cause such misfortune."
This entire fucking game is so vague that not even its own NPCs get it.
You are not the father!
Like most dejected accusatory talk show guests, Billy storms out as soon as she finds out the truth.
"[sword of light]..."
BEDTIME SEE YOU LATER GOONS
No, that wouldn't be a proper way to end the update!
We would have to get this treasure box first
okay the end