Part 4: Part 2
No, it was a Chinese knockoff that doesn't get reception on such a backwoods planet.
Also nah I'm just fuckin' with y'all, this is the real end of the update:
... Didn't she just tell us yesterday to never, ever go on a walk ever?
Oh good fuckin' job.
Okay so basically there's this flashback right now, right.
Billy's father died and
huge fucking shock, Billy is a Mysterious Orphan rather than Westa's real child.
There was about ten minutes of text and exposition between there and here, and it was made up entirely of walking really slowly and Regis saying "KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN BILLY WILL HEAR YOU"
There's a morning sickness joke somewhere here, but I'm not going to say anything.
Except that, but... oh, you get the idea.
"... but I hope you'll still give me sex."
"That's not how it works, Mr. Tallgeese."
Oh man, a chick sends you away and just ditches? Can this author relate.
So, leaving the Shingo Forest, goin' back home...
"Oh no, it's a cosplayer."
Oh, she was just holding out on Tallgeese because she's promised to some other dude, coo'.
Well you see, when a man reaches a certain age...
... he gets these weird urges.
See, this is why you don't date crackheads.
STAR OCEAN 2: LIFE LESSONS
Locked doors! Basement churches! A depressing lack of common sense! All this and more in the next... you know what, that shit ain't exciting. Just... tune in for the next episode, okay.