Part 28: In Which We Cut History Class

^ Well maybe it's mind-blowingly terrible, but I do like the idea that Expel explodes and everyone dies and that's the end of SO2. But unfortunately, this is not the case, because now, we move on to Disc 2 in

Chapter 26: In Which We Cut History Class


As you can see, we've long since banished ZeeToo and Knox from the party. Vados died fighting the Mystery Man at the end of Disc 1, though.








They're talking about Billy. The one thing I left out of the last update was the part where these ???? folks call her a Nedian. It was like one line, and utterly forgettable because all the ???? people are so preoccupied with their evil speech that it just kinda gets lost in the ocean of shit.






Okay so you see how EVERYONE was named ???? there? That's actually ten different people talking. That is, in fact, exactly how it works at the end of Disc 1, except you can also see the silhouettes of their sprites, which quite frankly doesn't help for shit.


Anyway, we come to on some forest path.




"Not if you assholes are here"


All of a sudden, Billy knows all the answers.


Oh, except she doesn't. She "knows in her heart what she needs to know," like any good teenage mutant anime elf.




It's a magic device. It's sort of like those baby monitors, except it leads into someone's bedroom and only turns on when they're having sex.

Actually no this is the Magic Disembodied Voice and that thing is a teleporter.




"Man fuck you"


"Man fuck you too Billy"


Well, we go in the transporter anyway.


And we end up in some metallic building.


Right outside is this dude waiting for us.


This is Mayor Narl. He is the second-most hateably impotent nincompoop in any video game ever, right after the entire cast of Final Fantasy 13.






*Third-most, after FF13 and Billy.

So we ask Mr. Retard about who those guys were who we met at the top of the tower (we don't even have a proper name for them yet you see), and this is his answer:

Yeah. He needs to tell us about THE ENTIRE FUCKING HISTORY OF HIS ASSHOLE PLANET.


Fuck that.

The game literally makes you sit through twenty minutes of unstoppable text that has no bearing on anything whatsoever, so consider your time saved.


Oh but before we go, Narl wants Billy to do a little quid pro quo with him.




Yeah. He asks us to stay behind so he can tell us, "Oh, so you want to know who you parents were, do you? Well too fuckin' bad."


You shouldn't have even wasted my time.


"I HATE THIS BULLSHIT GAME"

So this is the biggest building in all of Nede or something. There are a few things to see here, none of which are of even vague import.


We can also sell books here and come back right before the end of the game to collect some dollaz, but as it's been said, it's not even worth your time.


Okay so I lied, this place is important later.


eheheheheheheh


What, a terrible mess and makes you want to throw a brat against a wall?

Anyway, leave the building and head to the left and you'll see

this.


More shitty translations at work.

Anyway, Disc 2 takes place on Energy Nede. This occurs more out of the blue than you can fucking imagine, but there are a few benefits to this:

We can buy some pretty good items. The Lezard Flask, which can only be bought, expands the Alchemy item creation ability and lets us make every mineral in the game.


If we leave Central City, we can head like ten steps over and arrive at


North City.

Now, North City is probably my favorite city in the entire game, if not for only one single reason.


Anyone who has played this game knows exactly what that reason is.


--oh look it's that same lady from the other city




ANIME

Anyway, that has nothing to do with why I like this town the best.


Here, we can buy instruments.


A lot of instruments.


We try to compose at least one piece of music each.

Why is it so important to have this many instruments?

Because having enough instruments and enough sheet music lets you use Orchestra.

Holy shit, Orchestra. It breaks the Item Creation in this game WIDE OPEN by inflating your success rate to ridiculous levels.

Reproducing Forged Medals? Forget a 25-55% success rate. Try 90-100%. Customizing ultimate weapons? Don't expect to need to save-load more than three times.

You should try it sometime.

Well, it's Thursday. I'll be ending the Star Ocean 2 Picture Book competition tomorrow, and we'll have something new to replace it with sooner or later. So get that shit in, but barring any new entries, I have a pretty good idea of how things are gonna score out this time around.