Part 29: Organic Airships Have Down Syndrome
Chapter 27: Organic Airships Have Down Syndrome
Last time, we left off just as we got Orchestra to work.
These are the fruits of our labor.
So anyway, like all RPGs, this is the part where the game tells us to get an airship. I may or may not have cut that out of that bullshit sequence with Narl.
A Synard is basically a living airship. As if this game couldn't get any more utterly retarded.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT
So basically Synards are cooked up in this lab not unlike hacked Pokemon. You can even change their OT ID so they'll listen to you without the badges
Suddenly, a problem!
it's because geese plays all those violent video games
ALL THOSE VIOLENT VIDEO GAMES
So instead of getting to ride it, we get to kick its ass.
It's sad that the only character in this entire game who calls anyone on how fucking stupid everyone is happens to be a completely incidental NPC.
Well we're more than halfway through this piece of shit game and it's high time we got an airship so I guess we don't really have an option.
Anyway, after we leave, ???? shows up.
It is right about here that the game just starts outright admitting that it knows so little about what the fuck it's doing with the story that it just straight-up tells you, "I really just don't know and you don't need to either"
Anyway we take the transporter.
And we come out over here.
Nemo line count: 1
Nemo line count: 2, utter tangent
Nemo line count: 3, we already did this earlier
Now, this guy's story is that he's the sole park ranger of a nature preserve with no trees and an overabundance of hideous, rip-your-eyes-out animals.
It should come as no surprise that he actually has a 10% chance to start without the Love of Animals talent.
Anyway, that's his house.
This is his nature preserve.
5, and this is the justification for why we need random encounters in this dungeon.
The battle background is graphics intensive. If you're playing along on ePSXe and have an ATI card like me (soldered to my laptop no less), then you'll run into a lot of trouble: ePSXe can't autodetect the size of ATI cards, so you'll have to manually define it. Otherwise, it'll try to render this battle map with 16mb of video RAM and it will run slower than a fat fuck having a heart attack.
Anyway, while dealing with this cave's ridiculous encounter rate, if you go way out of your way, you see that damn reporter again.
She drops her shiny ID card during her exit.
Billy, how the fuck do you even know what an ID is
oh look there's the synard
After taking the long way around, we finally get down into this pit (when we probably could've just jumped here, that would've worked just fine but noooooooo)
It's getting molested by these spider things that wouldn't even have been here had we jumped down in the first place you asshole.
"let's kick its ass anyway, it'll be easy now"
you fuckin pussy
So for no reason whatsoever, the Synard lets us ride and that's that.
what do you think you useless sack of shit
oh don't make that fucking puppy dog face
FINE hurry up and get in
But what happens next, is something for another day.