The Let's Play Archive

The Bard's Tale

by Stabbey_the_Clown

Part 18

This was a surprisingly challenging update to make - it ended up being a lot more pictures then I expected, and this is after I skipped some of the areas.

Chapter 4

Highland Park was nearly deserted, except for a single Kunal Trow relaxing on the grass. It didn't make any hostile moves when it saw the Bard, so the Bard decided to take a diplomatic approach.

School is in session

: Before you say anything, I'm not here to cause any trouble.

The Trow got to its feet.

Trow: Cause no trouble and you'll have none from me. What is it you want here?
: All I need is a magical instrument from a Trow in this park and I'll be on my way. Are you him?
Trow: I be not, but I know who he be. You'd do well to turn around now, for he's not an accommodating sort.
: I have to at least make an effort, perhaps we can make some sort of arrangement. Can you take me to him?
Trow: No need, stranger, Fnarf will be here any moment.

The Bard's sword hand twitched involuntarily

: Fnarf?
Trow: Oh, you've crossed paths before?
: Yes, and it was quite a crossing.

Trow: It's said Fnarf never forgets a face... Or a grudge.
: Well that won't do either of us any good.
Trow: Treat him with respect and he may not gut you on the spot.

The Bard didn't really believe that, but pretended he did.

: Well that's comforting to hear.

Just then, the gates opened and in came Fnarf, and a dozen Trow.

Fnarf: If it isn't the very boorish blackguard I was hoping to see.
: I was about to say the same thing, but with less... embellishment.
Trow: Master, this traveler has come for a magical instrument.
Fnarf: Is that correct? You're after my prized possession eh? Well, you may have it... Over my cold cadaver!

The Trow who had been standing beside the Bard slipped away quietly. The Bard was just thankful the Trow hadn't inserted a knife in his kidneys before he left.

: It's a shame you learn so slowly, I hate teaching a lesson twice.

Fnarf: You'll notice that you have a considerably larger class to teach. You were a fortuitous fellow to catch me off guard last time. This time I've come properly prepared.
: You do appear more prepared, but I can still teach you a thing or two.
Fnarf: Let the educational experience begin!

Fnarf, who was even more cowardly then the Bard, teleported away before the fighting started.

With the Trow lying defeated behind him, the Bard headed through the gates in search of Fnarf, but soon encountered an obstacle. The path ended in a plateau, on top of which were many Trow. A path leading to the top of the plateau was blocked by a shimmering energy curtain. The Bard poked at it and received a nasty shock.

"Oy! You! Let me through there!" the Bard shouted at the Trow. They merely laughed at him.

The Bard walked back to ponder his options, then he saw the man cowering behind a tree. It was Mell, the guide who worked for the Bodbs.

Mell Nice

Mell Snarky

Mell: Oh, good you're here! Listen, I was sent to help you. I know you're after Fnarf, and I'd like to help you find him, but I'm afraid of those dirty little Trow. If you protect me, I'll help you get past them.

: No offence, but how exactly are you going to help me while hiding behind that tree?
Mell: I can help you get to where Fnarf is hiding. I've spent a lot of time in this forest and I know my way around.

There's no point in voting because we eventually need to be nice and bring him along.

: With the day I'm having, I need all the help I can get, come on, let's go.

With Mell in tow, the Bard once again approached the blockade. But Mell's yellow streak surfaced quickly. The Trow were no longer laughing, they were carrying throwing hammers and tall logs, with intent to throw.

"Look out! It's the Trow!" screamed Mell.

The Bard would need to dispose of them quickly, before Mell lost his nerve and fled.

You'd have to be really incompetent to fail the time limit, and even if you do it doesn't matter, you just have to go fetch him after he runs off.

The Bard summoned the bodyguard to distract the Trow, then pulled out his bow and took aim.

This Chapter is where a Bow is required. It's theoretically possible to make it here without the Heroine or a bow, but all that means is that you'd need to go back and buy one. This is why I boosted my Dexterity to 10, so I'd do normal and not reduced damage with the bow.

The Bodyguard is only useful in very specific situations, because his job is to distract ranged enemies, but ranged enemies are very rare. Theoretically, this is one of the few areas where he should be useful, but he actually isn't.

When the Trow were all dead, Mell ran towards the shimmering field.

Mell: OK, time for me to help...
: Watch out, that's a...

Mell ran into the field and was zapped, draining all the field into nothingness.

: ... ow, that had to hurt.

Mell: Actually, I kind of enjoyed it...
: And they call me a deviant.

Mell Gets Zapped

The Bard proceeded up the path, only to once again see another plateau and force-field blockade.

The Bard sighed, "I can see this is going to be a long day."

Yes, you have to do this same routine again and again. Then there's a change, than you come back to the force field stuff again. This kind of repetitive, dull combat stuff really drags the game down in spots like this.

Eventually, the force fields stopped showing up, but the Trow started sending Boar riders after the Bard.

The Bard and Mell came across a corpse in the jungle. Mell recognized it immediately.

Mell: Oh no, I should never have left him...
: Left him, what do you mean?
Mell: I was sort-of guiding him through the forest, but I sort of, you know, left him when the Trow attacked.
: I wonder what that must feel like. He wasn't, by any chance, after the same thing I am, was he?
Mell: As a matter of fact, he was. But he wasn't like you, he was special, He said he was the One, The Chosen-
: Don't finish that sentence. If you mention the Chosen one again, I'm going to be feeding pieces of you to the Trow... Now, let's see if he has anything useful on him.

: And so our chosen one searched a former chosen one to see if there was anything of fine choosing on his person. Choose wisely, chosen one.

Reward: 100 silver
New Weapon: Glaisne Bow

The Bard found an enchanted bow, which automatically set any arrows that were nocked alight.

But once again, as the Bard stood up, he saw the trio of Peerie Trow pop out from the bushes and begin to sing.

Bad Luck to be You - Minion

Oh, it's bad luck to be you.
A chosen one of many isn't new
When you think you're full of luck
in the bullock's you'll get struck
Oh, it's bad luck to be you.

This minion seems to like to run and hide.
I wouldn't be too sure he's on your side.
If he leaves at every change.
You should kick him in the pants.
his strong points doesn't seem to be a guide.

Oh, it's bad luck to be you.
The prophecy is never coming true
In a pickle you'll be stuck
Like a chicken you'll cluck
Oh, it's bad luck to be you.

have you noticed that while traveling on this path.
The bodies you've encountered felt the wrath.
Kunal Trow are very scary
And a few a bit too hairy
And their armpits stink so bad they need a bath.

Oh, it's bad luck to be you.
Don't think for just a second it's not true
When your life has run amuck
You'll see that you're the schmuck.
Oh, it's bad luck to be
Really bad luck to be
Nobody could disagree.
It's a freaking guarantee.
Oh, it's bad luck to be you.
Diddly doo.

The Peerie Trow departed

"I thought I told you to quit following me!" the Bard shouted after them, but they ignored him.

The Bard continued following the path through Highland Park.

Eventually, the Bard came across a Hide-a-Purse chest. Among other useful items sprung out a new song.

The Bard snatched up the song. At first glance, it seemed to be the song for the common rat, but while it shared a similar tune, it was much more complex.

This is the first of the Upgraded Songs, it makes the Rat worthwhile in some places. It's still a glass cannon, though, which makes it less useful as enemy hit points increase.

The new rat didn't appear any different. Or at least it didn't until the moment it leapt at a Trow from several feet away and took its head clean off.

The Bard was rapidly catching up to Fnarf, who was summoning in more Trow to delay the Bard long enough for him to teleport further ahead.

Level 7

Strength increased to 14

The Bard and his companions entered a large area with shallow ponds, while the fearsome Rat menaced the Kunal Trow.

"Run away! He's got a rat!" the Trow shouted as they fled.

Eventually, Fnarf ran out of places to hide.

Lesson Learned - Fnarf's Last Stand

Fnarf: We meet again, my miniscule musical menace.
: Can we skip the alliteration and get right to the fighting?

Mell paled and ran away.

Fnarf: As you wish, my fiendishly fanciful foe.
: I'm really going to enjoy killing you.

Fnarf still wasn't playing fair. He summoned more Trow to appear, while teleporting around.

The Bard was nonplussed and shot arrow after arrow at Fnarf.

But finally, Fnarf fell, for the last time, and the Bard claimed the Ornate Lute as his prize.

: Our begrudgingly brave but bedraggled Bard set out to return to the pleasingly pert Princess Caleigh.
: I've had just about enough of these atrocious alliterative announcements... Now I'm doing it!

As the Bard pushed open a gate and discovered that he was back at the park entrance, Mell ran up.

Mell gives us a Gift

: There you are. I've been wondering where you ran off to.
Mell: You did it! You've made it farther then any of the other chosen-
: I've already warned you about that!
Mell: You really are quite touchy, you know that?
: I can't imagine why, with such wonderful allies.
Mell: No cause to get nasty. Here, I've got just the thing to cheer you up... a new tune, this is a good one too...
Mell: why... err why are you looking at me like that?
: You've had that all along?
Mell: Yes.
: And I'm guessing it summons some sort of warrior?
Mell: Well, yes.
: Then why in the name of all that's holy didn't you give it to me when we first met!?!
Mell: Errr... well I... that is... it seemed... You know that... don't hurt me! Here take it!

Kell thrust the tune into the Bard's hand, then ran off.

: The things I do for lust.

The Bard returned to the Temple.

Temple of Caleigh 3

Homely: I was beginning to wonder if you survived the Trow.
: What you should be wondering is if they survived me.
Homely: You've got the lute?
: And now, if you don't mind, I'm ready to collect my prize.
Homely: Very well. Let us call the Princess.

The Bodbs sang.

: You guys should really take this show on the road.

When Caleigh appeared, she curtsied before the Bard.

: She learns fast.
Caleigh: If there was any doubt in my heart that you were the man to fulfill my dreams, it's now vanished.
: You fulfill my pockets, and then we'll talk about your dreams.
Caleigh: As you wish, my great warrior.
: Told you she learns fast.
Caleigh: Soon we shall be together, and I'll show you my gratitude. You must first go to the ancient tower east of Kirkwall.

: No, no, no, I've fallen for this one before. A tower or THE tower?
Caleigh: My captors are very clever, and there are three towers that seal my fate. Why do you think I had to seek out a man of your intelligence and strength? We will be together soon, I promise you that.
: Very well.
Caleigh: Go to the entrance of the tower. To get inside, you must play a tune on that lute I had you acquire, any tune will do to open the door. From there, you may encounter some resistance.
: I'm sure more then some.
Caleigh: When you reach the top, you must defeat the tower's guardian. The guardians power the flames that light each tower with their life essence. Once defeated, the power of the guardian will be broken. With the guardian vanquished I will be able to visit you atop the tower with further instructions.

: I better get something out of this soon, because your credit is already over extended.
Caleigh: Believe me, once I'm doing what I'm longing to do, you'll be more than satisfied.
: I very much doubt that.
Caleigh: If only you knew how willing I am to prove you wrong. Good-bye fir now, my love.

The Bard, knowing that he was heading into an enemy fortress, stopped by the Velvet Hammer for some added protection.

As the Bard headed out of Kirkwall, his Mercenary hit on a local girl.

Mercenary Pick-up Lines

Mercenary: Ah, lass, yer a vision of loveliness. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
Young woman in Purple: Just keep walkin' ye ugly little man.

As the Bard left, he didn't look back at Kirkwall, and all its happy citizens going about their daily business, but he really should have. Little did they know that for many of them, it was going to be their last day alive.

All Movies:

School is in session

Mell - Nice

Mell - Snarky

Mell Gets Zapped

Bad Luck to be You - Minion

Lesson Learned - Fnarf's Last Stand

Mell gives us a Gift

Temple of Caleigh 3

Mercenary Pick-up Lines