Part 40: Deja Moon
Chapter 28 - Deja Moon
Booya: Alright boys, off the ship!
Booya: We've had several weeks to prepare for this one folks, so we know exactly what we're up against. An alien base on the moon is likely holding some sort of sexed up alien female that's drawing in all sorts of intergalactic shit to out planet. So we're here to kill everything that isn't human! Understood?
Booya: Oh right, Human or Cyborg, so don't kill Canuck either.
Booya: Damn it you two, you know what I mean!
Golden: Hey Val, where's the rocket launcher?
Valhallan: Saving it for the mission target. Where's your oxygen mask?
Valhallan: Well I've got a fully sealed power suit, everyone else has a force-field which I guess keeps them sealed from space. And I'm not even sure but I guess the Cyborgs have something to keep them breathing out there. You're just in your scout armor and helmet, how the fuck are you breathing?
Golden: Oxygen is for chumps.
Leaf: Val does bring up an interesting point, and I'd like to autopsy Golden back at the base to find out just how he is breathing right now.
Booya: That will have to wait Dr. Oak. We've got xenos to kill!
Leaf: Oh god, not another nickname day...
Booya: Oh what are you complaining about Mr. Maple? It's a great day to be killing things! Well every day is a great day to kill something. Besides! You didn't almost die on this chunk of rock!
Leaf: Major, you've almost died on every chunk of rock you've set foot on.
Canuck: You know you weren't the only one to barely survive this place.
Booya: Details! Look at all them little bastards coming out of the craters!
Rabbit: Targets are down. Looks clear to the teleporter.
Booya: Into the wild green yonder!
Golden: I still hate these things. You never know where you're going to pop out at.
Golden: See! Look at this shit. There isn't even a teleporter on this end. Who knows where that thing might have sent us.
Canuck: Hostile behind us.
Booya: Alone and in a dead end? Golden, go take him out, rest of you prepare to move forward!
Golden: God damn it... Can't I just shoot him from here?
Golden: Fucker! Fine, I'll go chase him down.
Golden: This is for making me go out of my way to kill you!
Golden: Oh god he had friends!
Valhallen: Yeah, unlike you.
Booya: Damn it dirtbag... Cheese, go get Showers and see if you can teach him to be a man or something.
Anti-Cheese: On it sir!
Anti-Cheese: Multiple targets sighted. They're all carrying stunners.
Booya: Oh for crying out loud! Really? After all this we're losing to a couple of grays with psionic tasers? Clover, get in there, stim them up and let's just go around here.
Canuck: Hey Booya...
Booya: Yeah yeah, I get the idea. This one at a time thing isn't working... Chaaarge!
Valhallan: Holy hell. What are they shooting? Black stuff?
Booya: What, you afraid of a little black stuff?
Valhallan: I think we already made that joke Booya.
Rabbit: Hey, does anyone here have the training to use the stims on these guys?
Valhallan: I can do it. Just kill those things down below and hand me a med kit.
Canuck: They definitely know where we are.
Golden: Oh holy fuck my headdd....
Valhallan: Yeah, an entire medkit worth of stims will do that.
Rabbit: An entire kit? Val! Are you trying to kill him?
Valhallan: Well... I wouldn't be opposed to the idea. Golden, give me your kit, need to get Leaf up.
Valhallan: Leaf's up. Shake it off buddy, need you to stim Anti-Cheese. I just used two kits getting you and Golden up.
Leaf: You're all getting some basic medical training when we get back... I'm going to have migraines for days while these stims work their way out of my system.
Rabbit: How's it going Leaf? Would like to get off this ledge watching the grays wander by.
Leaf: I got him up, needed to hook up a battery for the rifles to him and jump start him on top of the stims.
Booya: So we're all conscious then? Good! About damn time! Let's get moving unless one of you still thinks it's nap time. Anyone? ... Good, move it you babies.
Booya: Hmm... Teleporter... Gol-
Golden: Yeah yeah I know, I get to go through first.
Booya: Damn right you do, dead man.
Golden: It's clear except for one alien down the hall.
Canuck: Target coming from the right side. Its got a rocket launcher.
Canuck: And its dead. Wasn't a very smart one.
Booya: Managed to sneak past Mr. Scout McLetYouDieToBeesOnce.
Golden: You're never going to let that go are you?
Booya: Son of a bitch! There's more of them up there.
Golden: Targets are down.
Booya: Go check that room out, but don't go alone this time! Hey, who wants to be Goldens responabili-buddy?
Golden: Oh you've got to be kidding me...
Golden: See sir? It's all clear.
Booya: Rabbit, do you concur?
Rabbit: I know you're just giving him a hard time, but it's fine. Nothing left over here.
Booya: Whoa... I remember this place.
Booya: Hey look, it's your original body. Or maybe your second body. I've lost count.
Canuck: Booya... Why is this here?
Booya: What? Don't you remember? This is where those space squids almost killed us.
Canuck: I can't forget that no matter how hard I try. I mean, why is my body still here?
Booya: Well, what do you expect? I couldn't take all of you with me, and there wasn't enough time to dig you a grave on the surface what with the whole place falling apart and all.
Canuck: We're doing something about this when we're done here.
Booya: Sure thing friend. But you know what's in the next room right?
Canuck: There had better not be any of those squid things still alive after all this time.
Booya: One way to find out. Charrrrge!
Anti-Cheese: It's completely empty.
Rabbit: That's kind of anti-climatic.
Canuck: Speak for yourself, you never had space squid tentacles all over you.
Rabbit: True. So what is that thing on the wall?
Booya: Mission objective! Val!
Valhallan: All over it.
Golden: Wait a minute... didn't we destroy that thing the last time we were here?
Valhallan: Clearly we missed something or we wouldn't be back here blowing this shit up again.
Golden: Okay, fair enough. But weren't these the creatures producing the green shit for the Biomass? Where's the big new alien we're supposed to kill?
Golden: And how the fuck did we all just teleport here?! I didn't see a god damn teleporter where we just were!
Leaf: Okay, maybe nancy boy has a legitimate point here.
Booya: You're all worried for nothing. All we need to do is look around for something really important looking and kill it. It'll probably be shiny and sparkly.
Booya: Son of a bitch...
Anti-Cheese: Major? Major you okay?
Booya: Squiiiiiiiiid!!! AAAAARRRRRRRRRHHHHH!!!
Booya: Die you murderous freak! You'll not have me a second time!
Valhallan: Oh great, the Major has finally snapped. He's going in there with his bayonet.
Booya: Have at you!
Booya: Oh god its tentacles go everywhere!
Rabbit: You alright Booya?
Booya: Yeah I think I just needed to get that out of my system.
Leaf: You're bleeding.
Booya: Ain't got time to bleed Dr. Willow. Just fix me up when we get back to the ship.
Leaf: Are you sure? Those things look poisonous. You ever get an autopsy done on one of them?
Valhallan: No, never had the time to get them back to the ship before everything exploded. They've also got a kind of tricky self defense mechanism that will prevent you from collecting one.
Leaf: What is that?
Valhallan: Oh, you'll see.
Leaf: There is one sneaking up behind us!
Leaf: Got it! These things don't seem that tough.
Valhallan: Just wait for it. Go see if you can haul that thing back for a sample.
Leaf: Alright... I still don't see the big deal.
Leaf: What the fuck? It's phasing right through the floor?!
Valhallan: Yup. Good luck digging that sucker up for an autopsy.
Leaf: How the hell is that even possible?
Booya: Son, we're on a mission to destroy a female alien with the most complicated mating ritual ever imagined, involving entire other races, planetary annihilation and interstellar warfare and you're worried about your science experiment falling through the floor? Showers, how's the front?
Golden: Uhm... We've got these orange glowing things here.
Booya: What are they?
Golden: No idea.
Booya: Are they moving?
Golden: Yes sir.
Booya: Then shoot them!
Canuck: They're multiplying?
Rabbit: The hell are these things anyway? Never seen anything like this before. They look a little familiar though.
Anti-Cheese: Trouble behind us. One squid, opening fire.
Anti-Cheese: Target... Target is falling through the teleport pad.
Valhallan: Squid coming from up front. Need a little help with this one.
Leaf: Okay come on. Someone had to explain this to me. How are they doing that?
Rabbit: Really Leaf, just let it go. We've got more than enough mysteries that involve our entire race being wiped out to be worried about the small things.
Booya: Exactly! Golden, on point! Let's see where this tunnel goes.
Golden: Whoa... What the hell is this?
Booya: I told you it'd be big and shiney when we got to it.
Anti-Cheese: So this is the alien that has been causing everything since the first alien war?
Booya: That's what Vault says.
Valhallan: God damn it's shiny.
Leaf: It's so... Pink. I knew the aliens were all gay!
Rabbit: Finally. After so much fighting. We can end all the bloodshed.
Booya: That's the plan. Val, set us up the bomb and let's get the hell out of here.
(It has sound but you're going to have to turn our sound way the fuck up, sorry, I suck.)