The Let's Play Archive

WWE 2K18

by IGgy IGsen, The LPFWA Universe

Part 5: Look, Palpy Forces a Win Again

LPFWA 2k18 Episode 5 - Look, Palpy Forces a Win Again (yerpalhal) - (Twitch VOD)
As of the time of posting the YT version is still uploading. But you can check the Twitch VOD already if you wanna.

IGgy posted:

Match card for this Saturday

#1 Buscus Brawl
Lotus Aura vs. Woolsey Smythe

#2 Three-Way
Link vs. Palpatine vs. El Catire Arrecho

#3 Bunny Championship Match
anilEhilated vs. Dash Rendar (c)

#4 Singles Match
Tolvie vs. Garbo Barba

#5 Tag Team Match
Fred Hope & Flamander vs. Masked Man and D the Destroyer

#6 Kawaii Title Match
Valerie Easton vs. Hell-Ena (c)

#0 LPFWA vs. The Universe
Vote! vs. Vote again!

Info on the people you can vote as our opponents:

Brock Lesnar is a big dude who throws people around.

Bayley likes to hug people.

Hiromu Takahashi is a wholesome man and Daryl is his plush cat.

Before the Show...

Vanderlyle posted:

Well, finally got around to watching Anime Showdown, hats off to you for all the effort that arena must have taken :clap: heck, for everything so far actually, it’s all great.

“I have taken my time off to train in the art of wrestling, so I’m ready to show everyone that I am El Catire Ar- I mean, ready for the big(?) leagues at the LPFWA.”

Also, I voted before seeing that photo of Takahashi, and now I realize I’ve made a mistake, I want to watch this precious man wrestle.

Rather Watch Them posted:

I've been given the perfect opportunity to enact my (first) master plan. This will require a bit of concentration, please forgive a lack of... action.

Valerie draws a circle of runes on the bench next to her locker, in some sort of black powder. In the center she places the thermal sleeve DCB gave her with her recuperation coffee. Valerie lights a candle, and the room goes dark.

Hello. It's me again... I was just wondering if you'd let me borrow the spirit of one DivineCoffeeBinge--yes, I know it's silly, but hear me out. I need her limitless energy in order to win a belt--a title, rather. Who would fight just for a cool-looking belt? I would be the champion of the women's division of the moon's premiere wrestling league! But I'm going to need your help, and hers. She fought... admirably? With her at my side there was no way we would lose, but my opponent... she's a demon. An abomination. I need to be stronger, and for that, I ask for your assistance. If you would grant me that power, please give me a sign.

Valerie waits for several seconds. Then one of the crew members bumps the bench, knocking over the candle and causing the sleeve to catch fire. As the cameraman backs away in a panic, the sprinklers go off. Valerie waits, the blue in her hair bleeding down onto her back.

...Ahahaha. Ahahahahaha! There you are...

Valerie turns to the terrified cameraman, makeup dripping down her cheeks.

Hell-ena! This match will be your undoing!

DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

*yawning* Funny, I feel more tired than usual.

Welp! That's why God/Goddess/The Bunny Overlords gave us coffee! *brews a fresh pot*

jimmydalad posted:

htiw gnissem si ehs tahw sdnatsrednu ehs kniht t’nod I .em rof dennalp sah ehs gnihtyna ekat ylisae dluohs I dna hself reh yojne llits ll’I .rettam t’nseod ti tub ,eltit ym ta tohs a tog ebannaw hctiw eht woh wonk t’nod yllaer I - (I really don’t know how the witch wannabe got a shot at my title, but it doesn’t matter. I’ll still enjoy her flesh and I should easily take anything she has planned for me. I don’t think she understands what she is messing with.)

The Results:

IGgy IGsen posted:

Scene: Rara forgives Lotus for The Incident and Lotus finds his heroic courage once more, can he defeat Woolsey Smythe? Find out ind Match number one of LPFWA 2k18 Episode 5! RISE UP! FIGHTERS FUSION REBORN!

#1 Buscus Brawl
Lotus Aura vs. Woolsey Smythe
Lotus tries real hard but in the end is beaten by Woolsey

#2 Three-Way
Link vs. Palpatine vs. El Catire Arrecho
Palpy wins by pinning Catire Arrecho

Scene: Reminder that IGgy hates Dash

#3 Bunny Championship Match
anilEhilated vs. Dash Rendar (c)
anil blows up Dash

#4 Singles Match
Tolvie vs. Garbo Barba
Tolvie kicks Garbo around for a bit.

#5 Tag Team Match
Fred Hope & Flamander vs. Masked Man and D the Destroyer
Fred Hope and Flamander take the win. Surpisingly, given their legendary status, it was more close-fought than expected

#6 Kawaii Title Match
Valerie Easton vs. Hell-Ena (c)
What witchcraft is this? Val wins???

Scene: Fruity apparently defeated three legendary wrestlers in one of IGgy's dreams and is rewarded with a title shot or something, I dunno. Then he goes to watch anime with Jumpy

#0 LPFWA vs. The Universe
John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar
RRrrraapado! Brock's time is up! Cena's time is now!

#666 Foit Me M8 Title Match
IGgy as Big Boss Man 91 vs. Jumpy as Sting
IGgy takes the win by being a massive piece of shit

After the show...

nine-gear crow posted:

...Where did you get that?

VolticSurge posted:

What're your plans with that relic,Lord Sidious? If RWBY is any indication we need, like, 7 to gain ultimate power or something. I dunno, the show's not really clear as to what they actually do... back on topic. How many of them do we need to collect, Lord Sidious? I'm betting it's an odd number-3,5,7 etc. It's NEVER an even number, like 4 or 8. If you wish I can contact Captain Phasma at once and have the First Order's stormtrooper Legions tear the galaxy apart to find the other 2/6/however many more there are. All you need to do is give the word, my Master.

Blind Sally posted:

In the parking lot outside of the LPFWA arena, the Outrunner sits surrounded by a mountain of empty pizza boxes and beer cans. Inside, Dash Rendar is enjoying a pizza sandwich--a slice of pizza wedged between two other slices of pizza.

Well, sir, sorry you lost your belt so quickly, but do you really think it's a good idea to drown your sorrows in food?
Sorrows? The hell you on about, Leebo? I'm celebrating!
You're celebr--what?
Don't you see? This is big for me.
I, uh, I don't see. Care to explain?
IGgy's got something planned for me. Something big. I can feel it in my gut.
Are you sure it isn't--
No, it's not indigestion! Not this time.
Sir, let's be frank: IGgy has it out for you. He wants to see you demolished.
Nonsense, Leebo, why would he give me my old job back?
So that he could stage your death to look like a wrestling accident.
He let me triumph in the Buscus match!
He's going to kill you in a staged wrestling accident.
He also let me win that Rabbit belt from the Goatse!
You nearly bled to death.
Bled to death? Leebo, you've got your circuits crossed. That was hot sauce.
H-hot sauce?!
I'll admit, stuffing my clothes full of bottles of hot sauce was not the brightest idea I've had in a while, especially not before a match. (I'm still picking shards of glass out of my underwear).
Hot sauce.
But really, between you and me, that Bunny Belt ain't nothing. I've shown the moon ol'Dash Rendar can win it, but I don't wanna keep it. No, Dash is no midcarder--anilEhilated can keep the belt. He's not main event material. But Dash? Well, I'm aiming even higher.
There's no way you'll ever get the LPFWA Championship belt.
Not yet, Leebo. Not yet. IGgy's planning something, I know it. He's got something big for me. Not now, but soon. In the meantime, I need to earn a little extra cash. Here, I got a bunch of these ads printed off. I need you to go poster them around the moon. I'm a rising star, Leebo. There's gonna be someone who'll be willing to pay to have a little bit o'Dash rub off on'em.

Somewhat later...

There is a tree standing tall in the middle of a field. There is a note nailed to its trunk. It reads:

HEY, WHATS UP GUCCI GANG, it's yer Boy Dash Rendar, here, offering my services as a wrestleman manager! Thats right! ARe you in the LPFWA? Do you feel that your mat game lacks that certain gin is say choir? Do you have money to burn? Call Dash Rendar--Today!! (direct a;l calls to Leebo). Two weeks under Dash's tutelage and walla! You will be a high flyin' death defyin' wrestle champion. Cal 1-6666-555-3274 right now!

DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

It's official, ladies and gentlemen, we have proof! Demons are less powerful than Caffeine-Powered Witchcraft! That sounds like all the evidence you should need to come buy some coffee!

Today we're even running a special - ten percent off for everyone who isn't Dash Rendar, Who I Still Haven't Forgiven For Stealing All The Food That One Time!

Rather Watch Them posted:

Ahahahahaha! Wow, that was insane. I thought she was going easy on me, giving me all these windows to counter, but then it hit me: the spirit spell made my reaction speed magnified. I caught a demon, with my own hands! ... What the actual fuck. I'm the champion? Me. I, uh...

Valerie takes a moment to compose herself, holding the belt like a trophy.

Okay, first, gotta thank DCB for the great ideas these past few weeks. She literally gave me the strength to get here. Uh, my mother for always inspiring me, and her mother before her for never inspiring her. Gotta learn the craft somewhere, right? And... oh, Kix Hellblade, my original character from the Earth universe. He's not real, but he really felt real and allowed me be myself. Y'know, I used to ramble on and on about how he and I were going to be together in a castle of pure white marble. He conquered demons too.

Oh, yeah! Hell-ena, you were great. Really great. You spat a really cool poison in my face, and I gave you three Kisses of Death. And a Hurricane. And two cross combos--where did that even come from?! Anyway, your power is really something, and if you feel alright about joining my coven, I'd love to have you. A demon and a witch, together? Just...

Valerie holds her head, patting away a tear.

I actually can't believe it... It's like all my nightmares are coming true.