Part 7: March Mutation Madness!XCOM Part 7: March Mutation Madness!!!
Hell, dad. I think I really do need glasses or maybe gene-modded vision. I used to be able to shoot the wings off a fly, now I need to settle for the flys center of mass.
The people here are pretty nice, though some are annoying. The only other sniper-rated person they have here is an insane Russian who claims he is so good he has never needed to use his rifle in combat once so far. He also says that he kills squirrels with a golf club. Thats yeah.
One more thing: This place is a chance to start fresh. Do not, under any circumstances, attempt to set me up with someone.
Thanks in advance,
Got a new card game to play with Leroy and Zinchenko in the hospital. Cribbage. Its a game that was invented by drunk sailors, but its surprisingly tactical. Everyone gets dealt four cards, plus extras depending on the number of players. Then everyone gives up the extras to the dealer, who gets a second hand. You choose what to give yourself, and what to give away.
kind of like all of XCOMs strategic problems lately
For the sake of the mission, I have already lost my skin color, my hair color, my face, and my real name. Now Im going to lose almost all of my flesh.
When everything physical is stripped away, the only thing left is who you are inside. And I think I think who I am inside is someone whos very ashamed about lying to someone who saved her life.
Agent Naomi Bar-Lev
On to business!
The satellite has been launched over South Africa, ready to detect UFOs. Theyve wired their payment.
Good! Now lets make sure we have an interceptor over there to shoot down any UFOs we detect.
Three days? We could just fly it over there in a matter of hours! Are you sending it parcel post?
Jet fuel is really expensive
Okay, gene buddy, now that we finally have the funds for it, lets get mutated!
What the hell. You only live once. We are going to be asleep for these three days, right?
** THREE DAYS PASS! **
Naomi Bar-Lev, can you hear me? The operation is complete. How do you feel?
I feel everything! This is amazing. I thought these limbs would be dead steel, but I feel everything on their surface!
Of course. The artificial nervous system allows you to interface completely with these limbs. Your whole body is like a giant touch pad now, and weve got gloves and things to give you a softer touch. These limbs look crude and are unsuited for combat, but give me a few years and Ill be able to create a cyborg body for you thats indistinguishable from human flesh. Then being a cyborg will be all benefit and no drawback.
In the meantime, this will be your weapon.
I I could punch through a wall with this! I control this entire thing like its my own body!
Theres more on the way, too. Your sacrifice was great, but well pay you back and more for everything.
Thank you, Dr. Shen. Give me some clothes, I want to visit Leroy in the hospital.
You look better. Im glad to see youre doing okay.
Awww, thanks for worrying about me, Naomi, but I was way more worried about you. Did the operation hurt?
Not at all heh. Isnt this usually where you say, Thats a good look for you?
You look strong. And thats a good look for you.
Good, Soldiers Carol Allen and Cameron Watkins are being decanted now. Their life signs are stable.
How do you feel?
I feel light. How much weight did I lose in there?
Weight? You werent supposed to lose much weight.
Hey, neat! Im black again. and somehow a lot more buff than I remember being. Wait a minute
Oh, you IDIOTS! Who loaded the DNA sequences? YOU SWITCHED THEM!
Well Actually This isnt so bad. I feel like Ive got a lot of spring in my step.
Hey, this could be an upgrade for me too! Check out the biceps! And I think my visions sharper. Trade ya?
The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence
You are being rather cavalier about this!
Eh, this is, what, the third mutation Ive had now? Used to it.
Hah. Thats nothing. I have seen more shit in fifty years than you kids could dream, waking up in a different body isnt even a blip on my radar. Well mutate you back next month when we can afford it, until then, trade underwear and do your job. Your aim scores are identical to each other anyway
We are extremely impressed with the progress of the XCOM project thus far, Commander. You have exceeded our expectations, and that is not a statement this council makes lightly.
Thanks, Councilman. Therell be a minimum of two more expected abductions in the next month, maybe some more scattered incidents well try not to let you down. We should be able to get live captures within a week.
We look forward to the fruits of the investigation.
FUCK! The computer still thinks Im Watkins. I got a pay reduction!
Dont even need clothes any more but they make me feel human
Huff huff yeah, this bodys definitely a faster runner than mine. Probably be a lot handier on the battlefield. No wonder Allen keeps kill-stealing from me.
Haha. Women live longer than men, my friend, if you were to stay that way youd enjoy a longer retirement!
IF I made it to retirement. Women arent more bulletproof than men, Zin.
So, barfly buddy. Theres no non-awkward way to say it. Is anybody here gay?
To Be Continued!