Part 20: Confounding Light AKA Awesome Old Man Team-Up

Part 20: Confounding Light



No time to rest, XCOM. We’ve figured out what the black box Zhang delivered to us was, a navigational transponder linked to an alien battlecruiser heading towards earth.
Holy shit!
But there’s an upside. It’s got a skeleton crew and is operating on autopilot. If we pull off a daring mission in the next hour and put a bunch of transponders all along a running train, we’ll fool the battlecruiser into thinking it’s a landing strip. It’ll fly within striking distance and we’ll be able to steal it right out from under the aliens’ noses. (The ones that have noses, anyway).



We need speed and firepower for this mission. Zhang is with us, since it’s over China, his territory. Watkins, Hugo, Bar-Lev, Leroy, you’re going. No snipers, they take too long to set up. And the new Laser-SHIV will be commanded by…General Peter Van Doorn!
Oh my God this will be the coolest mission ever.



Heh. Hey, Zhang. Ever kill a man just to watch him die?
No.
*snort* Pussy.
Whoah!
To ensure a man died I once unloaded two full magazines into him with magnums in both hands.
Ah, that’s more like it! But it doesn’t compare to the time I had to kill a bank robber by burying him in his own stolen gold.



…and after fighting my way through his maze of death, I met the Game Master, beat him in a sword fight and fed him to his own tiger.
Heh. Nice. As for me, after we killed the assassins, I married the baroness, we had a daughter, and we lived happily ever after until aliens invaded.
I, uh, arrested a few drug dealers once…
Pfft.
Wait a minute, you married a baroness? Princess actually is a princess?
Focus, we’re here!



You’re going to have to attach a bunch of transponders onto different points along this train, then start the train. We’ve already cleared its path with the Chinese transit authorities, we just need to hurry. In a matter of minutes the battleship will move out of the path of the train and we’ll fail the mission. Additionally, the aliens seem to have been alerted to our presence, so watch yourselves.
Ah, so that’s what this little radio in the SHIV’s tiny grippy-arm is.
Time for some Grand Theft UFO!



Thin men!
Take cover, move up and slap a transponder down.



First transponder down, I see two more Thin Men who just ran for it on the right. Four total.



Hold still, you skinny fuck!
Not so good at video games, are we?
Fuck you, I once killed a man with a game of Tetris.



One down!



I got the one in the open!
Hmmm. The cyborg. How well can you play chess without your queen?



Ow!



OWWWW! GAAAAuuughhh!
Mimi, hang on, I’ll patch you up!



Holy crap, they’re beaming down reinforcements from the alien battleship! I didn’t know they could do that!
Zhang, back me up! Let’s both hit it at once!



RRRRAAAAAAAAAA!



Got one!
Nice shot, kid.



By the way, asshole, I’ve been working through my existential crisis much better these days!
Huh?



GAUUUUGH!
Enemy down.
G…Good job. G-guys in the back, move up.



Oh, no, you’re bleeding.
It’s just a scratch.
You don’t have many organic parts left, you need all the blood you’ve got! *sigh* Let me patch you up.



I placed the second transponder, watch the poison and keep going! We only have seven minutes before this train needs to roll!
There’s a big cloud of poison around the next spot.
Fine, I’ll get it, I’m immune to their gunk.



Third one down!



One on top of the train, guys! Looks like he’s ready to shoot anything that moves.
I’ll distract him, I’m good at ducking.



Another right next to me! Grargh!



Finish him off!
Right!



X-ray down. Mimi?
Painkillers are working, I’m fine.



Hugo, NOW!




Hey, cool, our lasers make an “X” when we shoot them at the same target.



Another enemy down. Only one more transponder to place and we can activate the train.



Hah! I FEEL NO PAIN!
…bit less of a boast when you’re just remote-controlling a robot, sir.
Regardless!



Alien bastard, stop ducking out of the way! I can’t believe I missed with a laser machine gun.



Don’t worry, sir, I got him!



Nice work, kid. You’ve earned a dinner date with my family.
Please don’t turn the SHIV to face me when talking, sir. You’re pointing a gun at my head!
Pfft. You think dinner will be any different?



Another Muton on top of the train!
Ready for another X-shot?
Go for it!




Perfecto!
Good job, man!
Last transponder set. Mimi, hit the throttle on the train, now, before they beam down more Mutons!



Good thing they make such big buttons, it’d be hard to hit with these hands… right, that’s done!
It’s working, Strike-one!



WHOOO! I love trains!
We’re lucky the train can still move with all the damage we did to it.



The alien battlecruiser’s autopilot has been sufficiently fucked with. It’s coming within range of our interceptors. But all of its external defenses are offline, so we don’t need to scratch it. We just need to herd it into a safe spot, then raid that sucker by killing off its remaining crew. They must have only a few guys left on it now.



How are we going to get it back to XCOM?
In pieces. This is where I come in, again. I know a very talented chop shop. VERY talented.



Well, nice. Our supports and Zhang have earned pay upgrades.
Mimi, you’re hurt!
I’m…fine…
No, you’re not! You can’t go into battle on that ship like this!
The SHIV’s banged up too. Looks like it’s down to the mere mortals…
We have about 24 hours before we’re ready to move on the thing. Everyone, get some sleep and some food.



Oh my GOD did he tell you the baroness story? It’s not true! Don’t listen to him!
Is it just a story, or is she so embarrassed she’ll never admit it’s true? You’ll never know! Mua-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Do we, uh, do we really need to play pool with a loaded pistol on the table over there?
Yes. Because I’m not allowed to wear it during a game any more.
…Ugggh, I’m just going to turn invisible and slink away while you two have the “don’t touch my daughter” talk…

TO BE CONTINUED!