"A billion mirror fragments... small... light... taken... angel's... singing... voices... zeno... gias... A brain-damaged, wheelchair bound Cloud Strife.
What the hell is Xenogears?
Xenogears is a JRPG released in October of 1998 (with a February release the same year in Japan) by Square on the Sony Playstation. You want a sprawling epic with heavy biblical influences and psychological subtext through the distorted lenses of a Japanese writer? You want giant robots doing kung fu? You want furry creatures being crucified? Well, Xenogears is the game for you!
Xenogears is, not unlike Chrono Cross, a very divisive game. Some people will gush all over it like its the second coming. Some people act like it murdered and raped their dog. In that order. Me...well, I liked it in much of the same way I liked Chrono Cross. The art style is pretty good, the music is fantastic (once again composed by Yasunori Mitsuda), its got some pretty great characters here and there, and the battle system is a load of fun. But, I also think the plot was very, very silly in places and clusterfuck does not even begin to describe the rather batshit, convoluted narrative of Xenogears. But, you know... Thats just fuel for the fire.
All shall be mocked accordingly...
Whats this about heavy biblical influences?
Umm... Well, yes. But, distorted through JRPG plot tropes and Neon Genesis Evangelion-esque A lot of this is here because it looked/sounded cool. So yeah... Anime as fuck treatment of religion. Gods may be slain. Churches may or may not become evil. Jesus might kick someone in the dick. Who knows! Read along and find out! Some homework has been done on the subject by the writers. Some has not... You'll see.
Oh yeah, and since this game has a fuck ton of cribbing from Christianity, Catholicism, Gnosticism and several other religions...do refrain from getting into arguments over religion and theology. Even a hint of that shit and I'll lock this thread faster than you can say "goddamn". This is not to say don't discuss any sort of theology. Discussion is good. Just don't state shit that will piss people off like "Odin totally had a bigger schlong than Moses."
I heard this game was pretty lengthy. How long we talking?
LONG! I dont recall my first playthroughs total time elapsed. But, this LP is going to be going for a little while... To say the least. Edit From the FUTURE: Exactly five months.
Hey, so where can I pick up this game?
Xenogears was released on the PSN a few months back as one of the PSOne Classics, so that's the easiest way to pick it up. And probably the cheapest, if you don't want a used copy. New ones are going for around $100 on Amazon...
Hey are you going to show off
YES! Ill show off everything in my ability. If I completed 100% of fucking Drakengard 2, I think I can do that for a game I sort of enjoyed.
Hey, I read in Perfect Works that...
Neat! I've read it too! I'll get around to it! Also, don't link to that kind of stuff if there's an online resource. In fact, don't link to spoilers ahead of the LP in general. Thanks!
Hey, whats the deal with spoilers this time?!
Telling people to fuck off with spoilers for a 13 year old game is probably an exercise in futility. So just please use spoiler tags for all spoilers! I will get pissed off otherwise. Though, if every given page could not look like a classified CIA document...that would be great too... But again, USE SPOILER TAGS FOR SPOILERS! DONT BE A DICK!
Oh and don't pull any "Teehee, the next part is awesome/sad/will give you a boner" or "Just you wait until a certain...*hey I'm being cute with not so vague unmarked spoilers*" NOBODY likes that shit and you're not contributing anything to the thread. So keep it in your pants, yeah?
With that said, lets begin the long journey…
Updates are located here. What else do you want from me...?
Chapter 00: Prologue -
Chapter 01: Lahan Village -
- Episode II: Fei Fong Wong and Clichés Onslaught of Lahan Village
- Episode III: Lets Explore the Seedy Underbelly of Lahan
- Episode VII: Elhaym Van Houten and the Coward From Lahan
- Episode VIII: Fei Fong Wong vs. A Goddamn Dinosaur
- Episode X: Fei Fong Wong and the Seeker of Power
- Episode XI: Fei Fong Wong vs. Goddamn Desert Pirates
- Episode XII: Fei Fong Wong and the Hermit of the Stalactite Caverns
- Episode XIII: Bart and Fei in The God-Slayer Spelunker
- Episode XIV: Fei Fong Wong and the Last of the Fatima Dynasty
- Episode XV: Bartholomew Fatima and a Reason to Fight
- Episode XVI: The Sand Pirates of Aveh vs. the Midnight Invaders
- Episode XVII: The Rogues Gallery of Bledavik
- Episode XVIII (Part 1): Fei Fong Wong Gets Drunk and Breathes Fire
- Episode XVIII (Part 2): Fei Fong Wong and the Fantastic Fair Fun
- Episode XIX: The Dragon Slaying Slacker and the Wandering Youth
- Episode XX: The Dragon Slaying Slacker vs. The World!
- Episode XXI: Bartholomew Fatima and the Rescue of the Holy Mother of Nisan
- Episode XXII: Bart, Fei, Margie and the Conveniently Placed Office Encounter
- Episode XXIII (Part 1): Marguerite Fatima and the Lukewarm Pink Creature of the Yggdrasil
- Episode XXIII (Part 2): Fei Fong Wong and the Forbidden Lust of Chuthulhu
- Episode XXIV: Fei Fong Wong and the Portrait of Mother Sophia
- Episode XXV: Bartholomew Fatima and the Men Who Came From the Sky
- Episode XXVI: Bartholomew Fatima and the Nisan Gambit
- Episode XXVII: Nights in Ignas
- Episode XXVIII: Fei Fong Wong and the Drive of the Gebler Goobers
- Episode XXIX: Lawrence Maison - Super Butler
- Episode XXX: Fei Fong Wong and the Well Greased Guns of Vanderkaum
- Episode XXXI: Bartholomew Fatima and the Unexpected Visitor
- Episode XXXII: The Flight of the Yggdrasil
Chapter 17: Kislev Capital -
- Episode XXXIII: Kaiser Sigmund and the Prisoner From Aveh
- Episode XXXIV: Fei Fong Wong and the Baptism of D-Block
- Episode XXXV: Fei Fong Wong and the Hammertime Bro
- Episode XXXVI: Fei Fong Wong and What the Hell Are Those Guys Even Talking About...?
- Episode XXXVIII: The Dragon-Slaying Slacker vs. The World...Again!
- Episode XXXIX: The Fucking Sewer Level
- Episode XL: Citan Uzuki and the Purge of Nortune
- Episode XLI: The Dragon Slaying Slacker vs. The Exposition of Wiseman
- Episode XLII: Weltall vs. Stier Match of the Millennium 99
- Episode XLIII: Ricardo Banderas Silent Assassin
- Episode XLIV: Fei and Citan Not Ticket? No Problem!
- Episode XLV (Part 2): Fei and Citan Disrupt the Workplace
- Episode XLVI: Fei Fong Wong and the Battle Over Nortune
- Episode XLVII: Elhaym Van Houten in Too Little, Too Late
- Episode XLVIII: Xenogears and the Trials of the Lazy Ass Dungeon Design
- Episode XLIX: Hammers Ludicrous Abilities
Chapter 24: Escape Ignas -
- Episode L: The Solaris Intermission
- Episode LI: Bartholomew Fatimas Big Friend
- Episode LII: Downtime
- Episode LIII: Elly and Fei Get Surrounded by Seamen
- Episode LIV: Fei Fong Wong and the Treachery of the Haishao
- Episode LVII: Kahran Ramsus and Fei Fong Wong Arch Rivals!
- Episode LVIII: Elhaym Van Houten and the Mysterious Stranger
- Episode LXI: Billy Lee Black Shares Far Too Much Information
- Episode LXII: Billy Lee Black Kicking Ass For the Lord
- Episode LXIII: The Gang vs. A Creature of Unusual Size
- Episode LXIV: Billy Lee Black Has a Very Bad Day
- Episode LXV: Billy Lee Black and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
- Episode LXVI: The Captain of the Thames and the Attack of the Giant Fishbowl
- Episode LXVIII: Sigmund Freud's Kung Fu Nightmare
- Episode LXIX: Bishop Stones New Groove
- Episode LXX: The Continuing Shittiest Day Ever for Billy Lee Black
- Episode LXXI: The End of Billy Lee Blacks Rotten Day
Chapter 36: Babel Tower -
- Episode LXXII: Fei Fong Wong is Back in the Saddle
- Episode LXXIII: The Goddamn Babel Tower Level
- Episode LXXIV: The Platformer Castle in the Sky
- Episode LXXV: Shevat is a Silly Place
- Episode LXXVI: Queen Zephyr and the Lament of Shevat
- Episode LXXVII: Fei and the Gang Shuffle Around Shevat
- Episode LXXIX: Maria Balthasar and the Number Eighteen
- Episode LXXX: Yes. This is Really Happening!
- Episode LXXXI: Seibzehn!
- Episode LXXXII: Gene Therapy and an Orgy
- Episode LXXXIII: Prime Minister Shakhan is Doing WHAT?!
- Episode LXXXIV: Bartholomew Fatima Gets it Together
- Episode LXXXV: Bartholomew Fatima and the Hidden Jasper
- Episode LXXXVI: Andvari
- Episode XCVII: Krelian The Mr. Wizard of Solaris!
- Episode XCVIII: Fei Fong Wong and The Great Flood of Exposition
- Episode XCIX: Kahran Ramsus Favorite Subject
- Episode C: Elhaym Van Houtens Wonderful Parents
- Episode CI: Fei Fong Wongs Bruised Ego
- Episode CII: Citan Uzuki's Flashback Psychiatry Session
- Episode CIII: Fei and Ellys Happy Disc 1 Ending
Chapter 49: Shot Down! -
- Episode CXVIII: All That Which is Xenogears
- Episode CXIX: Elly's Many Poor Life Choices
- Episode CXX: Reformat
- Episode CXXI: Frenemies
- Episode CXXII: The Final Battle Against the Eternal Mid-Boss
- Episode CXXIII: The Awakening
- Episode CXXIV: Lesson Time
- Episode CXXV: Shevat Dickery
- Episode CXXVI: Persona
- Episode CXXVII: Lacan
- Episode CXXVIII: Der Wille zur Macht
- Episode CXXIX: Return of the Forehead
- Episode CXXX: Behind the Mask
- Episode CXXXI: Whats on Feis Mind?
- Episode CXXXII: All Our Memories
- Episode CXXXIII: Existence
- Episode CXXXIV: Becoming One
- Episode CXXXV: Our Mother
- Episode CXXXVI: Barts Big Battle Plan
- Episode CXXXVII: Overdoing It
- Episode CXXXVIII: Youd Think Someone Would Have Mentioned...
- Episode CXXXIX: Dolphin Family Problems
- Episode CXL: Freedom!
- Episode CXLI: A Brave New World
- Episode CXLII: Beyond Thunderdome
- Episode CXLIII: Fei Fong Wong and the Legend of Duneman Isle
- Episode CXLIV: What Lies Beneath the Lighthouse
- Episode CXLV (Part 1): The Last Days of Zeboim
- Episode CXLV (Part 2): Odds and Endgames
- Episode CXLVI: Alpha
- Episode CXLVII: Omega
- Episode CXLVIII: The Beginning
- Episode CXLIX: And the End
- Episode CL (Part 1): The First...
- Episode CL (Part 2): ...And the Last
Extra videos of neat junk from the game. May contain spoilers.
Bonus Video: Thames Card Game Wins and Losses
Bonus Video: Ricardo Banderas Deathblow Compilation
Bonus Video: Elhaym Van Houten Deathblow Compilation
Bonus Video: Billy Lee Black Deathblow Compilation
Bonus Video: Emeralda Kasim Deathblow Compilation
Bonus Video: Bartholomew Fatima Deathblow Compilation
Bonus Video: Citan Uzuki Deathblow Compilation #1 (Sword)
Bonus Video: Citan Uzuki Deathblow Compilation #2 (Unarmed)
Bonus Video: Emeralda Kasim Deathblow Compilation #2
Bonus Video: Fei Fong Wong Deathblow Compilation