Part 14: With great power comes embarrassing retreats.Post-LP Note: Orphan... Oh RNG, Orphan...
Keep in mind that the Pulunpa attacking Selfi is not your average Level 1 version, but the facial scarred Collar stealer with more than 45 HP. It probably stole her Collar, and she was trying to get it back, and doing fairly well for herself considering it only took one hit from you. Either that or it is a Level 1 Scarred Pulunpa, but she's using a Fire Wand.
Alternatively, especially considering how her most precious egg was a Pulunpa, Selfi just really, really likes Pulunpas. It's possible that there was no fighting going on at all and she gave you that egg as a bribe to keep your mouth shut.
Turos Kensei posted:
That was not a dry humping... that was a booty call. That egg of hers was not "found" in the tower... she had it out of wedlock. That Pulunpa is a spawn of sin!
Her reward to Koh-moru is basically he gets to raise the bastard child.
So call it Orphan. So it never forgets its standing in society.
I am never going to look at that scene the same way again.
Turos Kensei posted:
Don't give me that. You're the one that wanted to probe the secrets of the tower! Don't you see you have opened a Pandora's box that can never be closed?! Yet we are men and we must press on! No matter the horrors we discover!
If thine heart wavers.. simply ask thee this...
"For what reason doth men climb mountains?"
Carry the answer in your heart my child. And you will achieve all that which you seek to achieve.
You've convinced me. Orphan it is.
Alpha Kenny Juan posted:
DAMN! It did not help when I added an accent to it.
ugh...I'm sorely tempted to veto this.
Alpha Kenny Juan posted:
It was a convincing argument, what can I say?
What kind of a person thinks that a Pulunpa could copulate with a human and the human produces an egg?
Turos Kensei posted:
Hi! I'm Turos Kensei! My friends call me TK!
...which probably none of you will now.
...what the...why is my face on a shirt?
It's a T-shirt with the face of the hero Mamoru on it. It will scare monsters away when you wear it! Oh my god...it's really Mamoru? You're giving us good business.
I really wish this game had an option to change your character's clothes, for no reason other than so I can storm the tower like a Tourist. Just need a camera, and it would be perfect.
In other news, I hand over Guru's oil pot. He doesn't give us a reward quite yet, that comes next time around.
Probably because she lost the one thing that was keeping her going.
: Did I do something wrong? || How about yourself?
No. A moment of the person she cared for was found. What you did was right.
Man...this place is a sad vision to behold now. Everyone is gone...
...and this lady has drunk herself asleep. This is the worst reward for a quest, ever! What do you get? The bar closes down and you ruin the life of this woman.
Miss Librarian-Nun over here is still saying the same thing. She'll open up to us eventually...I think...
I stop by the Rode mansion, but Selfi is nowhere to be found. I'm not surprised, considering she was pretty much
No no no no no nonono! No, she wasn't raped at all. That Pulunpa just felt sorry for her and wanted to give her a hug. That's it. JUST A HUG!
Either way, she isn't here, so I can't give her the music box yet. I'll give it to her after the Tower run.
Anyway, enough from truly disturbing and nightmarish topics and on to more delicious and enjoyable topics. Next up is Stewed Beef on Rice ($290). Only five more dishes to go!
: I never though I'd be able to eat Stewed Beff on Rice in Monsbaiya. The cow. This is the rare animal known to have wandered from the mythical land. The gods of this mythical land are known to have enjoyed eating the meat of this animal, which they call beef. This dish is no doubt a mythical, mystical dish loved by the gods. Yup! This tastes great!
Darn, we didn't get a delicious depiction of our food this time. I wonder which gods Mamoru is referring to, but I'm pretty sure that since we are eating beef, it's not Hindu. They let cows block traffic if the cow decided to take a nap on the street. Cars just drive around. And I have a sudden urge to go cow-tipping. But alas, Azure Dreams does not have any cows to tip (I need that spare change for the Casino!) so instead we're going to visit Cherrl before running off into the tower.
: You're always here to see me. Of the whole day, I'm happiest when I see you, Mamoru. I also feel better when you're here.
It's when she says stuff like this that makes me wonder just how boring her day must be, stuck in that bed most of the time, too afraid to step outside should she randomly pass out. We'll get that Healing Herb somehow.
Bringing a Wind Crystal with me this time now that I'm finally out of Red sands. Kefka and Squirtle are going to get fused together.
: Run! Run! Or you'll be well done!
Interesting, Sled increased already as well. The "Magic Attack increased trait" is very interesting. LoDown is now LaDown and decreases attack power instead of levels (which is good, now I can keep the same experience while making the monster weaker) and Sled is going to increase now that Kefka is Flame-Genus. This is why I normally don't mix-match spells with different native elements, because only one will level up at a time.
But for now Kefka is going back in the bag. I'll power level it later on when there are no water monsters around.
What is this? Like the sixth rust trap I've shown where my equipment didn't change? I just love it when this happens.
Have I EVER gotten an explanation for why she calls me Puffy Lips all the damn time?
: My brother talks about Mamoru all the time at home. I know so much about you. I heard you put fire on nails for the light in the tower.
: That's not true. || That's right.
I...what? You can put fires on nails? Uh...sure, lets say that's true, that sounds awesome.
: Mamoru is such a mystery.
...okay, now she's just screwing with me. But at least it's good to know she's in a decent stable condition after being HUGGED AND NOTHING MORE by that Pulunpa.
Much like Nethack, Azure Dreams likes having fun when you are blind. Problem is, I can still look at my inventory in the menu just fine. So what really happened was I got a Flame orb, IDed it to figure out how many charges where in it, and then used a white sand I was holding on to give the orb an extra charge.
I love using Trap loupes, it makes finding Go-Up traps so awesome. The sad thing is, I actually found another Go-Up trap on this floor. This floor ad 3 Go Up traps total.
Another compact floor with no respawning monsters...or maybe I'm just too impatient and go up too quickly. Either way, screw this floor.
Also found a Pita fruit, so Kekfa's HP and MP both increased by 1.
Floor 6 & 7
Yeah...I don't know what I was thinking but I didn't even take screen shots on these floors. Not much happened though. More long grinding.
I'm finding these everywhere now...good thing they sell for more than a thousand gold each time.
This game has ruined any joy I'll ever develop toward finding an egg ever again. I'm just finding them everywhere!
In other news, I have killed 100 U-Boats now. I'm glad Blue October isn't here to see this.
Shortly followed by killing 100 Dreamins.
And I got de-leveled back to lv. 11 like five times by fucking Clowns.
Alright boy, time to show the world what you're made of!
LoDown is in the Wave tree of Mixture magics, so LaDown produces Heat Wave. If you look closely, you can see two 16's superimposed on each other on the Dreamin. Heat Wave hits twice at melee range, and will shoot out like a ranged attack as well.
But Flame Sword is just so much better damage wise. Just killing this Dreamin leveled up Kefka twice.
This picture doesn't do what happened any justice. I was taking on another Dreamin, when it put me to sleep. Kefka heroically steps in to attack the Dreamin, which then tries to put it to sleep. By the time I wake up, Kefka is at low HP because the Dreamin snuck a few hits in while the Kefka was cherry-tapping it, and there are now four other monsters in the room. Fuck. The Dreamin goes down in the next hit.
What followed was even weirder. The clown activates a Crack trap, trapping all of us monsters in a now randomly-elevated five by five square. The Clown goes down in one Flame Sword. The Volcanos produce rocks for some reason, which catch me off guard because they never did such. I had Kefka staying behind me when I moved around them, and the Volcano was in perfect range to attack Kefka diagonally and take him down.
Oh, and that Bow Troll also stole one of my kills.
Post-LP Note: Another part that got a laugh out of me.
Wait, does that text say what I think it says?
Are you trying to make a sibling for Orphan?
Oh wait, it just says 8 EXP instead of the other thing. Thank god. It seems Orphan is messing with my head now, with disturbing theories.
Kiff, tell them about the kinds of points I earn from battle.
STOP FUCKING LODOWNING ME! 100 dead Clowns.
Fuck. This is not good. I got hit by a Slow Trap, and then these guys show up. They get two moves for every one of mine. I'll be fine as long as they don't use rise.
FUUUUUCK! That was way too close. I scrapped by with 1 HP left.
I'm done here.
END OF DAY! KILL COUNT FOR THE DAY!
: 13 Pulunpas, 10 Noises, 17 Trolls (Hammer), 11 Flames, 21 Cyclones, 13 Baloons, 37 Manoevas, 15 Manoeva Clones, 31 Blumes, 22 U-Boats, 16 Clowns, 12 Dreamins, 10 Trolls (Bow), 7 Volcanoes. 235 KILLS TOTAL
4 Traps Discovered.
Reached 100 kills for: U-Boat, Clown.
: No kills.
Heat Wave assists: No kill-assists.
Flame Sword Assists: 1 Clown, 2 Dreamins. 3 FlLAME SWORD KILL-ASSISTS TOTAL
Something odd happened this morning. Weedy woke Mamoru up all on her own. Nico didn't show up, she must still be upset about Selfi giving me her egg.
The egg was another U-Boat. You know the drill, give it a name. We can transfer DeRock over to something now, cool.
Take some for today's opening celebration.
Behold, the grand reward for finding Guru's oil pot. Apparently this guy needed flour to make his Octopus dumplings. I think you can take them into the tower as a bad healing item, but I never messed around with this. I do know that Fur absolutely loves Octopus Dumplings. Maybe it's time to make peace with her.
: I've come to buy. || I've come to sell. || I'm done.
It's straight to business between us. Loot in the tower (including a Gold sword and a Diamond shield I didn't screenshot, and a bunch of well charged orbs) comes to $8730. Total money is now $44668. Almost halfway to a Casino!
: Is there anything else I can help you with?
: I've come to buy. || I've come to sell. || I'm done.
: Thank you.
Well...this is awkward. I try to hand over the Octopus Dumpling, but she doesn't accept it. Instead I enter this conversation (which is the same if I tried to talk to her normally.
: What? Whaddaya want?
: Wanna talk with you. || I don't like you now.
: Well, I've got nothing to talk to you about.
...this isn't going to go well. Anyway, Selfi is out and about so it's time to give her the music box.
: For me? Something of this value shall match me.
Ungrateful little...and I talk to her normally anyway.
: Hi there, Puffy Lips! What is the relationship between you and my brother?
: Friends. || Not good friends.
Take a guess. He stole Nico away from me, made Cherrl faint, bothers Patty in the restaurant and won't show up in the tower so I can extort Medicinal herbs (and sometimes wind crystals) from him.
: Well... But all my brother talks about is Mamoru.
...seriously? This guy needs a life, badly. And I know the perfect thing to get him...But that's for next update.
Alright, because I kinda failed in the Tower this time, we just have a U-Boat to name this time. I'm sure you goons can come up with something good.
I can't believe I let you guys name it this...
Post-LP Note: It overwhelmingly won the voting.