The Let's Play Archive

Barkley's Shut Up And Jam: Gaiden

by N.N. Ashe

Part 4: Slam with the Best or Jam with the Rest

The child, upon hearing these words, transforms. He stands up taller, straighter. His clothes seem to fit him better, his eyes show he is no longer a boy, but possesses the soul of a man. Charles begins to walk home, knowing that he's made a survivor out of this boy. Lost in his own thoughts, Barkley barely hears the low thump of the child hitting the pavement, exposure and starvation have finally won.By the time Charles exits the screen, the boy has already died.

Seeing Larry has reminded him of how things used to be, and with it an anger within himself rises.
Damn Bird thinks he's making a difference. Shit's never gonna be the same around here.

Kids going to the b-ball court ain't ever gonna happen again. And Chin's shop ain't ever gonna be like it used to either. Shit's never gonna be like it was...

I'm starting to see things... I better get home and catch some Z's.

Ahh, console video games (or vidcons as I call them). the ultimate medium of expression, able to convey any emotion ranging from hatred to love, loyalty to fear, all in front of our eyes. Ah, and with lovingly crafted art, music, and the ability to control the action, vidcons are the ultimate combination of the high arts. While I tend to play the stoic, I will be the first to admit that vidcons haven driven me to cry, to scream and shout, to feel actual hate; such is the power of this force beyond our wildest reckoning. And here I am, before you, to temp your tongues with the taint of such a tantalizing topic.

And the Japanese, the true geniuses behind the world of video games. Pah, I throw my scorn upon such incompetents of the West who would mock the true art of the Japanese with 'games' such as Baldur's Gate and Madden. Perhaps it is that the West is not as intelligent as the East, but this is a matter for another day. Japan has given us such masterpieces as the Final Fantasy series, Star Ocean, Wild Arms, and of course, Arc the Lad. Yes, some of the finest vidcons in the world were created by Japanese. I come to you today to ask you in all earnesty, what is your favorite vidcon? I will reveal mine after the grand debate has illustriously begun, but not before the first poster falls victim to my plot of discussion.

Utterly confused, Charles goes home.

Hoopz must already be in bed, Let's see what's on TV...
TV The "Ultimate Hellbane" has struck again, this time at the Eastern Motors car company, slaying three men once again with zaubers.
That's it, Hoopz and I are getting the hell out of here, this place has gotten too dangerous. Ugh, I'm... I'm getting tired... Zzzzzzz...

While he slumbers on the couch, a news report comes in.

TV Oh my god. Man-Manhattan has just been completely destroyed. 10 million people are expected to be dead, with estimates ranging up to 15 million. Dear god, this is the most awful thing I've ever seen in my entire life... I'm... I'm sorry
folks but I just wasn't prepared for this... Details are extremely limited right now but the damage was believe to have been caused by a Chaos Dunk... Yes... Yes, it has just been confirmed that the destruction was caused by a Chaos Dunk, meaning that Charles Barkley IS the perpetrator, Barkley being the only human alive capable of performing a Chaos Dunk. It... it doesn't matter if you believe in Krishna, Mohammed, or Clispaeth, now is the time to pray, Neo New York...

??? There he is! Get him!

Music Run away

will be forced to terminate you.
Wh-what? What's going on? Jordan, why are you here? Where's Hoopz? What's happening?
You are under arrest for performing a Chaos Dunk! Surrender yourself or face the consequences!
Wh-what? I didn't do a Chaos Dunk! Jordan, you know damn well I swore never to perform another Chaos Dunk 12 years ago!
Twelve years is a long enough time to change your mind. Men, arrest him!
I-I didn't do it Jordan! This is a mistake! I don't know anything about B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S.
You're a sick, sick little man, Barkley. I gave you time to get over Maureen and b-ball, but I guess that just wasn't enough. I mean... You've got a kid, Barkley. I thought you'd grown up... Execute this bastard.

Charles Bursts through the armed cadre, jumps from second story and into the streets. This sequence of events is a quick time event. Mess up more than twice inside the apartments or on the streets and its game over.

The church is blocked off! Gotta go through the parking lot!

Even with all his skill Barkley becomes trapped and Jordan approaches

Barkley, this is your last chance to surrender and tell us everything you know about B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S. Think of your son...
H-Hoopz... You wouldn't dare hurt him, Jordan! You god damned coward, you wouldn't dare hurt him!
Surrender... and it won't come to that.
Okay..Okay.. I'll give myse-

??? Don't do it, Charles!

A cry rings out from behind the soldiers, as flames dart forward and consume them.

??? Barkley, this way!

A man, dressed entirely in black runs from behind the charred remains, past Barkley and into the alley.

Barkley follows.
Damnit Barkley... You've gotten away this time... But you're a wanted man now. There won't be a next time.

Wh-what the hell is going on? Who are you anyway
??? I... I do not think I can fully explain what is happening. There is someone I'd like you to meet, someone who can make some sense of this to you.
No! You're gonna tell me what the hell is happening right now or I'm gonna... I... I'm gonna do something I'll regret.
??? I will tell you this much, Barkley. No matter what happens, I am on your side.
That doesn't mean anything to me! I have no idea who you are! For all I know you could be the Ultimate Hellbane!
???I... Am the Ultimate Hellbane.
What!? What the hell? What the hell is going on! I don't know nothin' about no B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S. and I sure as hell don't want nothing to do with it! What the hell is this?
Barkley, the men I killed... I... I am not a murder. They were agents of B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S. I'm not a terrorist and I'm not one of the bad guys... I'm here to help you becuase... Because I know you're innocent and I believe the same people that have wronged me so long ago are the ones that are trying to hurt you.
What's that supposed to mean? I'm supposed to believe you now just 'cuase you think I'm innocent? Hell no, you're a murderer and I don't want nothing to do with this shit!
Charles, please! You... you need to believe me. Just before Jordan for you I... I took Hoopz somewhere safe. Somewhere Jordan and B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S. can't get him.
Hoopz is... Safe?
He's at the church, Barkley, with Bird. They can't get him there.
I'll... I'll listen.
I'm here to help you Barkley. but We're going to need to move fast. I can't tell you who I am right now, but I know you didn't do it. There's no doubt in my mind that both Jordan and B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S are looking for us. We'll need to make haste. I know you've got to be a little confused and there are a lot of questions you want answered... There's someone I think you should meet that can help you, Barkley You've made enemies tonight and you're going to need all the help you can get. Please, Barkley... Please believe me.
I.. I don't understand what's going on at all but if... you can help me... I'll take any help I can get. Wait! Where are we?
These are the B-Ball Catacombs, the final resting place of some of history's greatest ballers. It's... It's an ancient site but it's been used up until-
The... Purge...
We... Should make haste.

Big Fancy Contest

The gasoline pump has always been missing one thing in my mind. I can not give him a voice. That's where you come in, I want to hear what you think it sounds like. Record yourself saying the pump's dialogue how you think its voice sounds and post a link to it here.

If that isn't your thing, write an orginal gas pump post, and mark it as such. Really, what this world needs is more gasoline pump.

There are about 10 or so save points in the game so this is how it'll go. Posting a recording of will get you 1 point, an oringal writing 1 point as well. Doing either of these will earn you a spot on the OP and the adoration of your peers!

Oh and limit 1 of each per save. So yes you can earn 2 points per save point.

Whoever gets the most points gets avatar/plat. There will also be a winner for who I think nails the voice and whose gas pump post is my favorite! I think this is pretty ambitious, and I've already seen some really awesome posts in this thread and in SA so I believe there will be greatness.

Edit: Contest was revised 1:06 cst Dec 22 to expand the contest and add another prize. Since Starkclamp submitted before the rule change he will have 2 points for his submission to be on equivalent footing in the new rules as he would have been under the old.

VVVV - All credit for quality assurance of this post should go to OFS