The Let's Play Archive

Blaster Master

by ElMaligno

Part 2: My tank is smart.




Chapter 2: My tank is smart.


: Plasma energy charged, Proton power secured, Supper Y-Alloy armor repaired, Game system on, Anti-matter engine OK, Tronium engine full drive, Hydraulics OK, NOS system full, Jacket Armor PURGE, Phat Rims OK, T-Link System full contact, psycomu systems offline, souls of the dead... offline, Potato Cannon loaded and ready for action.
Anything else?
: Ludicrous speed go!
: Aye! Ludicrous speed, ENGAGE!


: Did I mention that this cave ends in a sheer cliff?


:


: Did I mention that its not a tall cliff?
: You are one fucking helpful navigational computer.


: HA! Easy for YOU to say that, you weren't sealed in a fucking cave for 15 years!
: Yeah, whatever. Look I'm looking for a frog, his name is...


: Finish that sentence and I'll fucking gut you. Anyways watch out for that...


: cliff...


: Oh well..
: JACK LIED TO ME! ALL THOSE HOURS DRIVING THE TANK IN GTA...
LOST.


: Good thing I also played Mario!


: Oh look! I'm one more in the pack! Weeeeee~
: HAY! Focus, we have a world to save.


: A frog you mean.
: Look kid, I could care less about you...


: Oh Goddamit.
: heh


: WILL YOU STOP DOING THAT! I was just washed.
: By "just" you mean "15 years ago" right?
: Sure, go ahead! Hurt my feelings too you dick.


: Oh look stairs, go down them.
: But I'm already protected.


: Actually, there is nothing that can protect you,


: from the terrible secret of space.


: Pausing the game while the death animation plays and unpausing it causes said animation to glitch.



: :golgo:



: Hmmm, grabbing two of those gun shaped circles made my gun stronger.


: I wonder what happens when I collect a few...


:


: Thanks for the gun.
: I know you would like it.


//:


: Well boy, from this point onward you need to go on your own.
: what


: Sorry kid, tanks weren't made for swimming you know. SO I'm gonna shut down for a bit, k?
: Hey great.


: Whose great idea was to install AI navigation computers on tanks?


: DON'T FORGET TO BRING ME AN UPGRADE!
: Fuck you, your manufacturer, your mechanic, your mother and the horse you rode in...
Bloody machines.


: OH LOOK AT ME! I'M A FUCKING SLOB THAT SHOOTS A SHITTON A BULLETS EVERYTIME YOU FIRE. NOW I'M FUCKING USELESS TANKS TO PLASMA.



: guh~
:


: Mr.Frog! Are you in there?

: You must be the human the frog talked about.
: WHERE IS MR.FROG?


: Why are you struggling human? Can't you see that we are the aphex of evolution? Can't you give in to the change?
: Who cares about that? I want MR. FROG!


: So be it human! If you want to find your pet, you will have to KILL ME!
: OK!


: GAH.


: MAY THE PLUTONIA EMPIRE LIVE...


: FORever....


: So the pathway to perfection is truly laden with explosions..


: I wonder if this is what the fucking tank wants...


*victory music*


*pause*


*victory music... again*

I and my brothers used to do this to annoy the hell out of each others or to brag about killing difficult bosses.


: Where the fuck could that frog be?


Next time on LP! Blaster Master: My tank can shoot blocks.