The Let's Play Archive

Buck Rogers: Countdown to Doomsday

by Vexation

Part 12: Five Men, a Half Man and a Baby.

Part 10: Five Men, a Half Man and a Baby.

: Well it's time to blow this murderville.

: Wait, there's one thing I have to do before we leave.

: Come on, we don't have time for this.

: This is just going to take a second.

: Be free my croaky brothers!


: Happy now?

: Very. Let's roll.

: So where to now?

: Thhe RAM basse iss to thhe ssouth of hhere. Follow me.

: By the sounds of things I judge between one and two hundred troops. A bit lean for my taste but it's a start.

: This doesn't look much like a secret base to me.

: Thiss iss thhe rear entrance. Thhey only usse it in emergancey

: Wait... how did?... Ah screw it, I don't even care anymore.

: And that's is supposed to signify what again?

: Oh nothing really. I just like dusting of my history data files every once and awhile.

: Thank you for being of absolutely no help once again.

: Ok who's the lucky person that gets to go down first?

: I say send Zane down. For strategic effect.

: How would that be strategic?

: Well he's so short that if there are enemies down there it will take them a couple of seconds to raise the barrels of their guns from the floor once there done shooting him. See he likes the plan.

: *gurgle*

: You scare me. I'll go down first.

: Huh, looks deserted.

: Don't worry kid there will be plenty of opportunity for self sacrifice in the future.

: *coo*

: sssshhhh... I hear ssomeone in the room over there.

: dddon't hurt me. I don't know anything. I swear!

: Please don't swear, my friend over here is very sensitive.

: sssorry I didn't to upset the child.

: No I meant Hank.

: Yes please don't hurt my virgin ears.

: For the love of god, I only make minimum wage.

: At least your getting paid something.

: I'll just add that to the ring.

: One murder coming right up!


: Hold on. There's no way were going to kill someone right in front of Zane here. Get some rope.

: Damn it. That's two I owe you kid.

: Goo!

: Not only that, but they recently imported a fleet of specialized gliders that can withstand the Venusian climate for long periods. Each glider has enough ammunition to abolish an entire village. RAM won't be satisfied with only destroying the closest village to their base... they apparently plan to wipe out the entire Lowlander population and take over production of Gravitol themselves. The repercussions would be devastating for NEO.

: So your saying we should steal the gliders and ride them glory?

: Yes I suppose that would work.


: I find that statement offensive.

: Step aside smokey, a more delicate touch is required here.

: My dreams of being a Glider pilot were dashed before they even began.

: Would it make you feel better if I were to blow the hell out of this place?

: *sniff* A little.

: Ok everyone stand back. I rigged the control box into the glider's weapon systems. All I have to do is press the button and the lightshow begins.

: Goo?

: Aww how can I say no to face like that. Ok you can press the button.

: Goo!

: Not exactly the most discreet approach.

: No but it sure is satisfying.

: Uhh hello up there?

: Hi.

: Well scratch another RAM base. A job well done everyone, time to call it a day everyone.

: Wait, thhiss isss jusst a ssubbasse. The main basse iss connected to it by thhiss hhallway.

: That's crazy talk.

: Why am I always wrong?

: Oh good, at least now there's someone here to shoot me in the head.

: What is all this crap?

: It'ss aerosol misst. It sstopss lasserss from firing.

: Does it effect swords?

: No it doess not.

: That's all I needed to hear.

: Yargh!

: No place to go but down I suppose.

: I wonder what kind of prisoners they would hold here.

: No sense standing out here. Let's go in and ask them.

: Drop your weapons or die.

: Ok just calm down, we'll do as you say... aw hell I can't even keep a straight face anymore. Maur!

: What?

: That's right, just keep asking questions.

: Could someone please take Zane out in the hall. This is going to be messy.

: Blargh!

: Now let's see if we can find these prisoners.

: Thhere'ss more people in thhiss room.

: We have you outnumbered I suggest you surrender.

: Is that so? Sick em Zane.

: Kikoo!

: Oh god they've got a baby!

: Please let me have these guys. The murder levels in my blood are getting low.

: Since we have been sparing everyone else up to this point, it don't think it would be fair to kill these guys now.


: I promise when were all done this we'll go find some pirate ships that you can have your way with.

: I'm going to hold you to that.

: We are sscientisstss from the town nearby. We were working
under contract withh RAM on the lenss and a few other minor projects.
Ass ssoon as the lenss wass completed. they turned againsst uss.

: At firsst we were only locked insside the basse. Then one of uss, Landon, ssnuck to the fourthh level to look for an esscape tunnel
rumored to hhave been insstalled thhere by Lowlander workerss. Whhen
thhe RAM officerss couldn't find Landon, thhey locked the rest of uss
in thiss room.

: They only keep uss alive for quesstioning. They want thhe formula for Gravitol, but we'll die before we give it to RAM.

: Hhelp Landon find the tunnel sso we can esscape. We'll wait hhere until it'ss ssafe. If we were disscovered misssing. RAM would fill the basse with ssoldierss looking for uss. Landon will come out if you tap the Lowlander victory code on the wall. We'll teachh it to you.

: Ok you guy's just wait here and hold tight. We'll be back.

: Last floor. Not very many places left to hide.

: Time to get tapping.

: *tappity tap-tap*

: Whho are you people?

: Don't panic, we don't mean you any ha-

: Goo!

: Good we're finally rid of the little bastard.

: Maur, is that a tear in your eye?

: No... Everyone look away!

: That's a pretty crappy reward if you ask me.

: I guess this means more backtracking. Joy.

: Looks worthless to me. Here catch.

: I'll add it to my bag of tricks.

: Ugh, this had all better be worth it.

: Thhe ssecret passsage will take uss righht outsside the basse to ssafety. Trusst me.

: This must be the secret exit. No one would ever look for it in a pool of acid.

: That doesn't make any sense.

: Sure it does. Hey what are those bubbles?

: Oh god no!

: You're lucky I really need to kill something or you would be dealing with them by yourself.

: Anymore bright ideas?

: 

: Over here guys.

: Wait, how did you?

: I have my ways.

: Son of a B-

: Just keep on moving, the sooner we get them the sooner we can get out of here.

: I swear if this is all a waste of time heads are going to roll.

: Thhank you for-

: Yeah, yeah thanks for saving our lives. We're eternally grateful. Blah, blah, blah. Just move.

: And ssince you did all the legwork for me I sshould be able to make a good dassh the ssafety before having to resst. Bye.

: ... *twitch* ...

: Watch out he's going to blow!

: Maur give me your sword, I'm going to make myself to new pair of snake skin boots to replace the ones I just wore out!

: Here you go, someone might as well get some use out of it.

: Stop it's not worth it! Someone hold him down!

: *ahem* I hhate to interrupt this touchhing moment guyss but I have ssomething to ssay.

: Well Leander we hate to see you go but you must do what's best for you and your people. Are you sure you will be okay here by yourselves?

: Althhoughh I thhink thhat after traveling withh you anythhing from thhiss point on will be a vacation. Goodbye and good luck.

: I never thought I would be happy to hear your voice. Let's get the hell out of here.

: You know even though it's covered in flesh searing acid and everything that lives here tried to eat us, Venus isn't actually that bad. If this war ever ends how would you guys feel about coming back here for a vacation?

: ... Maur your sword again please.