Part 54: Episode XLIX: Lynx and the Dark Gentleman of the Hermit's Hideaway
Music: Voyage ~ Another World
Well, we now inexplicably have our sailboat back and the rest Another World is re-opened to us. There is quite a bit of new stuff happening in this dimension. But, it is best we just continue with the plot for the time being. No worries. We'll be tackling the clusterfuck of sidequests now available soon enough...
As Miss Riddel suggested, our next destination is Hermit's Hideout to go see how Radius, Viper, and the others are doing.
"Alright, Harle. Let's practice proper fire safety this time, yea?"
"Oui, Monsieur Lynx. Je vous promets."
"I understood like one word of that. But, I'll take that as a yes. Just no starting fights, 'kay?"
"OUI. LA SÉCURITÉ INCENDIE EST IMPORTANT."
"Zoah, if that blue robot wasn't so idiotic looking and the dream chef wasn't a cannibal you would be *so* out of the A-team right now..."
Heading into the hut sub-level...
"Did nobody fill in grandpa dick kicker about me coming? Honestly?"
"HE SEEMED STUBBORN TO BELIEVE SUCH A TALE."
"Well, I'd wheel in the other old man to vouch for me if I didn't think they'd both keel over form a heart attack upon seeing one another."
"No, Radius. He's not Sir... I mean he's not Lynx."
Attempted dick punching... DENIED!
NPC: "Hmph, that's my line. You have brilliant skills like mine to have been able to block like that."
And then they both simultaneously punched Serge right in the dick. The end.
"I might look like Lynx, sound like him, command a horde of cats like him, and have the same sidekick that may or may not have burned down your house..."
"But despite all that I'm not him."
"Hmmm.... This is hard to take in so suddenly, but I do not sense Lynx's evil within you... I heard what happened. I just couldn't believe it until I saw it with my own eyes. Oh, and thank you for saving Miss Riddel. I am very grateful."
"No big deal Just don't expect the same if your old ass gets captured. Mario doesn't put up with mushroom assholes saying the King's crusty ass is in another castle, if you catch my drift."
"At least we were able to save Lady Riddel. But still, one of these days, I'll kick everyone of them out of our manor!"
"Kind late for that..."
"Dude, there is like...maybe five guys in the whole place that aren't dead or crippled. Most of them got trampled to death on the way out."
"Trampled?! By what?!"
"Those lame ass dragons from that awful feeding mini-game."
"Y-You...let all...the dragoon...dragons...GO FREE?!?!? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG IT TOOK TO CATCH THOSE THINGS?! They're like...$50,000 gold a piece!!! How are we supposed to get the dragoons back together if there's no dragons!?"
The rest of the Viper Manor clan is hanging out in the back room of the hut. Looks like Viper is still down for the count.
"Ummm... Like... I'm sorry... for everything..."
"Ah. We're cool, kid. Just no more kicking me in the shins. Or using the word 'abhor'. One jerks say abhor."
"You're too cute to be ze killer doll, Marcy."
"W-WHAT!? Are you tryin' to pick a fight with me, Harle!?"
"I'm sure defeating zis Marcy will be a cinch."
Marcy throws a foot stomping temper tantrum...
"Hey! What did we talk about, Harle?! No fighting! Not that I'm adverse to cat fights or anything. But, it goes from hot to something you'd probably get dragged away by the feds for when it's between a clown and a ten year old girl..."
"THAT IS ENOUGH. WE HAVE A PATIENT HERE."
"That too. Listen to Dr. Doogie Howitzer."
"Hey, that's enough out of you too. You can't make fun of a jester... That...well, it just doesn't work, kiddo... Go steal Zoah's helmet or something."
"Nah... I like tried that once and stuff already."
"Oh yeah...what was under there...?"
"You're like totally lookin' at it. Geez."
"...I don't follow."
"WEATHER IN EL NIDO CAN BE ERRATIC. I LIKE TO DRESS IN LAYERS."
"I have heard much of what has happened. We cannot allow Lynx to carry on like this. I owe you a debt of gratitude, so I would like to fight alongside you. I may be inexperienced in battle, but I hope you will find me helpful."
"You any good at magic and/or healing?"
"Father had me tutored in the arts periodically. Yes."
"Cliché white mage chick niche filled! Welcome aboard."
I still don't know who Leena blew to get her build listed as "ordinary" in her stat sheet.
After that the party is required to take a nap. Presumably, Viper just gets rolled onto the floor for a couple hours so everyone can catch a few winks.
Some time later...
An explosion rocks the outside of the hermit inhabited island. So it turns out the bad guys, which already raided the joint once, have returned. Who'd have seen that one coming...?
Music: Between Life and Death
"Weren't you just bedridden in a coma five minutes ago...?"
"The script says I got better starting...now..."
"You look much better, daddy."
"Sorry to worry you. All thanks to Marcy. Sorry to trouble you like this, Marcy... Looks like I worried everyone as well..."
Another explosion rumbles outside the hut...
".......I recognize that voice."
"I recognize those terrible cat jokes..."
"Huh... I woulda better good money she was worm food by now. Hey, Kid!"
Lynx rushes outside, followed closely by the rest of the party...
"Heh... Yeah, good one, Kid. Lemme tell ya, it's been a weird couple of weeks looking like this. Sorry if it's kinda awkward. I'm working on fi-"
Kid tries, rather ineffectually, to slash Lynx. She really never did have a very good accuracy stat.
"What the hell, Kid?! I know you hate Lynx and all but you don't need to go into some berserker rage every time you see something the looks like him. Sheesh."
"She iz not ze Kid you know!"
"However, right now, you are the one who is Lynx. And I am Serge. Once our roles were reversed, so were our problems."
"What the hell are you doing with my body...?"
"Isn't it obvious, Lynx? With this form I ca-"
"No...no... I don't care about your vague plan and I don't want to hear another dumb speech that sounds like it was cut bits by Colonel Sanders at the end of the second Matrix flick... I mean...what is with that get-up...? Are you... Are you cosplaying as yourself...?"
"Other than the...what is that? A pirate surplus hat? You totally are! You're cosplaying as the outfit I'm in."
"What are you talking about?!"
"Let's see... a white kid dressing up as a cat guy in a military outfit he thinks looks cool. But, fudging details and messing up color schemes along with messy dyed hairdo... Yeah... Totally sounds like cosplay to me... And how the hell did you manage to get me so pale so quick? I had a pretty decent tan going. Gawd... If I start breaking out in zits because you're into the goth...hipster...emo...whatever the heck I'm supposed to call pale douchebags with too much make-up these days scene... I am going to be pissed!"
"Enough! As I was saying..."
"Yeah, I'll put an end to Lynx today...and avenge Lucca!!!"
"I THINK WE BETTER RETREAT FOR NOW."
"Yeah...this is honestly kind of embarrassing to watch... I mean you dressed up in your own silly evil alternate outfit but you didn't bother to dress your brainwashed sidekick in some slutty new uniform?"
<switches stances and panty flashes the entire party>
"...Okay, well you could have at least dressed her in a black palette swap or something."
"There's no way you can escape."
"Uhh...sorry to disappoint you, dude. But, I've been getting out of every silly dire situation I've come across thanks to conveniently timed intervention like a half dozen times now. I mean, if I made it out of the Dead Sea exploding...twice...while being smack in the middle of it when the explosions began... I'm not too worried about making it off a tropical island in the middle of nowhere."
"Tch. Told ya so!"
Fargo swoops in with the latest winged deus ex machina of the last few days and scoops the party up, flying them to safety.
"Damn! They got away. Heh... Anyway... this is only the beginning... of everything..."
The Missing Piece artbook actually lacks a damn thing about Dark Serge (yes, Lynx-Serge's official name is "Dark Serge".) But, a friend sent me a picture of this very accurate Dark Serge Papercraft. So here's what the prick looks like in some detail.