The Let's Play Archive


by Proteus4994/Suspicious

Part 21: Wyndrax's Tower

Hey John! It's good to be back!

It's great to be here!

So what have you been up to? We haven't talked in a while.

We, uh, actually haven't talked ever. Why am I here?

Oh, I realized that after dealing with the tragedy of my broken hard drive, I couldn't deal with Romero, so I called you over to talk.

God, I know that feeling. So what did you want to talk about?

I dunno, whatever you want to talk about. I'm just glad to have someone here who isn't Romero. So what have you been up to lately?

Not a whole lot. We made a lot of money selling the Doom 3 engine to various companies, so I've had some time to kick back and work on my rockets. You've heard about those, right?

Yeah, I hear you're trying to send a private rocket into a stable orbit. I know you missed out on the prize that Richard Branson's group won, but you're still having fun with it?

Oh yeah, it's great. It really kinda allows me to kick back and concentrate on having some fun instead of working all of the time.

Man, I hear that. So what's going on with-

Hey bitch! What's going on? Are we updating?

Uh oh.

Wait! What the fuck is that piece of shit lying cocksucking trashbag fuckwit doing here?

I think I should probably be going now. This was a bad idea. You didn't tell me he'd be here.

Dude, I didn't even know. I'm sorry. I swear I didn't tell him shit.

No, I'm glad that son of a bitch is here. Hey Carmack, are you here to apologize for ripping off all of my good ideas and then throwing me to the curb like a piece of fucking trash when you were done with me?

You left on your own. I didn't kick you anywhere. And I hardly ripped off all of your ideas. Wasn't your original idea for Quake to turn it into a Deer Hunter game with an experience system, weapons that levelled up, and an attachment that sent 120 volts through your body every time you missed a shot?

God damn right, and that was a brilliant idea. You're the bastard that would never listen to me.

John, that idea is terrible.

Seriously, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard of, and I've played through most of Daika-

Shut the fuck up. First of all, who are you, Proteus, to criticize me? And secondly, Carmack, when I want your opinion, I'll pull my dick out of your mouth and ask you for it.

What? What does that even mean? You're sexually attracted to John Carmack?



Works every time.


Fuck you guys. I'm going to go fuck my hot Romanian wife.

Yeah, you go do that. Mr. Carmack, thanks for stopping by. Sorry about the mess.

It isn't the first time John has fucked up one of my speaking engagements. Did I ever tell you about the time he showed up drunk at E3 while we were announcing Doom 3 and mooned me in front of the EGM reporters?

No, but it sounds like a great story. I wish we had time to hear it, but I have to introduce this map.

Don't worry about it. I have no shortage of these stories.

I'm sure you don't.

Wyndrax's Tower Intro (Google)
Wyndrax's Tower (Google)

(The not-so-triumphant return. Cronican doesn't get credit for playing Superfly. Fuck him. Also, I tried to fix the sound levels. Someone in the video comments was complaining about our mics clipping. I don't think there's a whole lot I can do about that, but I tried adjusting the sound levels a little bit.

Deathmatch is still scheduled for this Saturday. The Hamachi network name MIGHT change. If it does, I'll post the new one.)

Edit: Also, for the record, LordMune has dubbed them the "Sissy Claws". Perfect name. Unfortunately, we've already recorded all of E3 so I won't get a chance to use it.