Part 5: Chapter V: Lu Who?Chapter V: Lu Who?
"I'm Lu Bu. I don't believe you will find me as feeble as Hua Xiong."
OH JESUS CHRIST, LOOK AT HIS STATS!
While we're swooning over such, allow me to take the time to explain what A.P and A.C are, as I haven't yet, have I? A.P is simply the value of strength the weapon you are carrying adds to your overall stats. Non-allies are weird, as they say that they are naked, when they do in fact have A.P and A.C values, don't ask me why. Naturally with A.P, A.C is exactly the same, only with armour.
That being said, while Lu Bu has max strength with a shittonne of soldiers to compliment it, look at his INT, this isn't going to go well for him.
He does come with a commander who is determined to ruin the party's day though.
It works best to have Guan Yu constantly burn Lu Bu, as Lu Bu will almost always fall into Guan Yu's fire tactic, while everyone else physically assaults Li Ru. Honestly, Li Ru is the bigger threat in this fight, but hopefully having four people in his ass will wreck his day real quick before he has the chance to do something nasty, which he is prone to.
Believe me, by the end of the game, you'll hate tacticians way more than people with high STR.
With the two of them out of the picture, well..
I found it amusing that Lu Bu or Li Ru didn't touch Guan Ping this entire fight. Does he stink or something?
"Guan Yu, Zhang Fei, today you have defeated me but soon I will return the favor."
Liu Bei isn't here, but he should have been. This was supposed to be the battle where the three brothers gang up on Lu Bu.
This one has bushes around the main tent, the officer in there must think he's important or something.
"As long as Lu Bu supports Dong Zhuo, you can't possibly win."
"Lu Bu only serves Dong Zhuo for money. If we give him the Gemsword, he might switch sides."
"I'm Wang Yun. Look in my house and you'll find the Gemsword."
Yeah, okay Wang Yun, because we all know where you live.
Wang Yun also has a really hot daughter named Diaochan who acts as the Gemsword in the book, tearing Lu Bu away from Dong Zhuo. She isn't in this game, because women don't exist in the 1990s.
"If you go west from this fort, you will reach Luoyang."
Finally, the main tent, he really thinks he's something, doesn't he?
"Liu Feng. I'm Cao Cao and I'm leading the Imperial Army. We couldn't catch Dong Zhuo. But we occupied Huolao Guan, thanks to your support*. Yuan Shu and commander-in-chief Yuan Shao have gone to Luoyang. I should go to Luoyang at once. I hope you will join us there. Now I must say goodbye."
*Support this, Mr. "Appears at Huolao Guan only after Lu Bu retreats and it's safe to come out"!
Like all NPCs, he walks through the wall, or crawls under the tent, that bastard.
On a lighter note:
"I'm Huo Hu. I'm good with powder. I'd like to offer my services."
"We will serve you faithfully."
We will make the assumption that he was talking about gun powder, as he comes with a new, improved fire tactic which will be the lifeline for the next few fights.
That being said, Mi Zhe is finally put into retirement.
"Young man, did you come here to listen to Chi Tu Ma [Red Hare]'s story?"
"Chi Tu Ma is the king of horses. He can run 1,000 miles a day without even getting tired."
He is also the horse that Dong Zhuo gave to Lu Bu to get him to join his cause.
This isn't going to be an easy waltz to Luoyang, is it? Cao Cao apparently climbed the mountains to get to Luoyang, as the forts are still in enemy hands.
"Prepare to fight Li Jue."
Maybe I lied a little, the march to Luoyang is easy.
Because he is the only commander in this fight, I don't even bother wasting TP on him, as it is a long march back to an inn to replenish TP.
In fact, as soon as his soldiers fall below 100, all-out easily dispatches him.
"Prepare to die!"
This battle in many ways is a miniature version of the recent fight with Lu Bu.
Like before, it's important to gang up on him with physical attacks before he starts spamming fire tactics.
While Guan Yu can show off the new fire tactic on him.
You can imagine Guo Ji doesn't remain a threat for very long.
"You were too late. While you were at Hulao Guan, Lu Bu came here and trounced us. Look! If Dong Zhuo and Lu Bu cooperate, we don't stand a chance. I'm going home. I should have known better than to ally with idiots!"
And were this in the book, he would go home only to find a burnt out house, dead children, and soldiers ready to escort him to the scaffold.
"Such a weak army doesn't stand a chance against me and Lu Bu. Did you really think you could just march in and occupy Luoyang.[sic] Such lunacy."
While he does have tactics, he seldom uses them, as they hardly work with his low INT.
Believe it or not, but this fight is even easier than the last major fight. Because there is no tactician, Guan Yu can destroy Lu Bu without any particular threat, whilst everyone else gangs up on Dong Zhuo.
Like yeah, he hits like a truck, but he also is trivialized quickly with four people hitting him at once.
Amusing part being that the fire tactic hurts him more than an average mook.
Just to clear things up, Lu Bu is an ass, and he still is a wrecking ball even with less than 100 troops.
"Unbelievable. Retreat back to Chang'an and regroup."
He also burnt down the town, just to be a troll, and because the scorched earth policy is pretty fun to spam on people.
"General Lu Bu killed his father-in-law*, Ding Yuan, and joined Dong Zhuo. Don't trust him."
*Ding Yuan is his military father as Lu Bu is unmarried. This is an important aspect to take note of.
"It's rumored that General Lu Bu has been long seeking a very special sword."
"Are you Liu Feng of Liu Bei's army? I am Yuan Shao, the commander-in-chief of the volunteer army. Our capital Luoyang has been burned and broken. We can't defeat Dong Zhuo. We don't even have food to eat. We must return to Bohai once more, and join our comrades. So long."
All because Liu Feng is a stingy bastard, and refuses to share his over abundant food with anyone.
"There are five men known as tigers. Generals Guan Yu and Zhang Fei are two of them. You must find the other three."
"There is a fine sword in Wang Yun's house. If only we could find the key..."
I wonder whose house this is that's still in semi-tact?..
That tile sure looks unique..
There are only two keys in this entire game, and don't ask me what one of them was doing all the way down there.
In any case, maybe it'll shut Lu Bu up, and Guan Yu can do something else in battle for a change?
There's another house in tact.
As apparently, the inns are coated with fire proof material. Either way, score for me!
Lastly, there's a guy who offers to join, but he sucks.
What is in store for the people of Chang'an? Read on.