Part 126: Hinnom - Turn 32
The giant Hinnomese war machine marches ever onward, crushing the feeble Lankan troops beneath their iron boots. If only that were the theme of this turn. Sadly, TheDemon is still quite good and all that's happened is that I've stopped moping and sucking quite so much. For folks who were worried about the potential disappearance of my yearly mistakes posts, fear not! There are plenty yet to come. Let's see whether or not they're terrible ones this turn. fucking fire shield underwater
Lots more site searching this turn. Only twenty something turns after I managed to complete site searching research. I bring in 22 slaves this turn and that will be enough to resume blood stone construction.
First things first, a message from King Hippomnomnomnom. Aww, yes they are big guy, yes they are. I was really surprised at how big a drawback population eating giants are, but it pales beside every giant raising unrest.
In Vepitre, TACO FLAVORED KISSES had flown in to raid Lanka. I, uh, somehow missed that last turn. Anyway, he didn't die so that's nice. And he managed to kill some folks. Let's take a look at what happened.
TACO FLAVORED KISSES is in the back corner, scripted to cast blessing, earthpower, hold and attack. This is a mistake as you're about to see, and it takes me a long time to figure it out. So, I'm going to make it again. And again. And again.
See how all those Palankasha are bunched up on TACO FLAVORED KISSES'S left? Well, they're all blind. So they're just whiffing every single turn for 50 turns. TACO FLAVORED KISSES dispatches the Pisacha in front of him, that's the 11 undead he killed. He also killed a single Palankasha who made it to him before the Pisacha did. Then, once the five turns of scripting run out, TheDemon's Raksharaja start spamming ghost wolves and raise skeletons and TACO FLAVORED KISSES spends 40 turns killing ghost wolves and skeletons while blind Palankasha miss him. Fuck. The mistake I'm making is not moving him over to the middle where he'll be smack dab in the middle of Palankasha and will kill them before he attacks ghost wolves. Instead of annihilating those Palankasha and murdering everyone, he routes to the turn limit.
In Lanka, my barbarians finally get tuckered out. They are last seen departing in the back seat of a cop car, protesting the unfairness of it all. It's too bad they weren't able to kill anything, but their death will lower my upkeep a bit which is nice.
Motherfucker. Fire shield can't be cast underwater. Instead Sheriff Bart casts something shitty like rage (makes enemies attack the closest unit, friend or foe). This was a costly stupid lesson in Fuck. The. Ocean.
RIP Sheriff Bart.
In Nardago, TACO FLAVORED KISSES heads back to Lanka with a full set of kit. I do not fix his scripting issue, but hopefully it won't be an issue here. KING HIPPO JR heads back over into friendly dominion to keep his HP high.
Darth Helmet and FAT SHETLAND PONY GUIDE 2 head into Nardago. FAT SHETLAND PONY GUIDE 2 is set to cast regeneration on Darth Helmet. Darth Helmet is ethereal and lucky and immune to lightning and he is going to cast fire shield and let the Palankasha burn themselves out on his fire shield. I forget why Obscuro is headed this way. I would not mind if he died as Mictlan, Sauromatia and Pan don't have air access and Obscuro is an easy way to at least site search.
Here's the Lore Master I recruited last turn. A/B is a good combination for Hinnom because it allows them to summon their national demons that are totally not storm demons, but I really would have liked an E/F or N/A to forge fire brands or rainbow armor respectively.
Cost: 20E, 32 slaves
Gems Generated: 10
Hey there pal, how's it going? You sure are sucking it up, what with losing all those Melqarts and getting your shit kicked by TheDemon.
Good talking. Listen, if you ever figure out how to win a war you should head on over Mictlan way. Lovely beaches, great bunch of people, really could use your particular brand of murder.
Uh, dude you just said I was bad at this.
Exactly, and what better way to show the world how good you are than by fighting some dirty Mictlanese, amirite? Great, great chat. Really glad we talked.