The Let's Play Archive

Dwarf Fortress - Boatmurdered

by Various

Part 47: by Sankis

It is Autumn, In the 4th Year since the Arrival of Emperor Sankis (Also known as 1061).

The beginning of Autumn is fairly uneventful. I begin mining out a channel from the cave river to fill up our inner moat. Construction goes a planned and it is working by the end of Autumn.

However, in Mid autumn things start to happen! Yay!

First some moron decides to kill himself by starving

The elves arrive!

A few kobolds show up to steal some goodies.

They don't get far though, as soon after..

What appears to be 3 squads pour in from the west. One in the northwest, two southwest. They immediately begin moving southeast to the fortress.

They see those Kobolds I mentioned earlier and dispatch them.

With the Kobolds dead, they move swiftly toward the fortress.

Unluckily for them, I manage to lock all the entrances and get my dwarves inside before they are able to take the doors. Emperor Sankis, being great as he is, immediately options for the fiery death option.


Magma now becomes Lava!

It slowly makes its way toward the invaders.


Burnt Goblin can be smelt throughout the fortress, and probably the entire region

Needless to say, the goblins are gone.

Things proceed for normal until a few weeks later when a new baddy shows up.

For the sake of brevity, I'm just going to post this and hopefully it will explain how the colossus died.

Sometime after the assault, we get a very small batch of immigrants. Mostly fucking nobles. Nothing useful. We could have used a bunch of fucking peasants, atleast! Lots of hauling needs done.

By the close of Autumn, I, Emperor Sankis, have begun to revenge on my arch-nemesis: Judicator Mystic Mongol.

First, to tease the prey, I starve and dehydrate him in his newly assigned room.

While he is busy trapped in his room, I set up a lever to an elephant cage. I unlock his door and he walks through the room.

The lever is pulled and the elephant is released. Mystic Mongol, being the fool he is, attempts to wrestle the Elephant.

Amazingly, he is not instantly killed. Infact, he merely sustains a badly broken leg. He hobbles after the now fleeing elephant, however the elephant soon meets its end in our traps.

He now lies useless in his room. I did not wish to kill him as that would merely lead to a replacement. He will suffer in his room until his own kind forget about him, where he will slowly starve to death alone.

Autumn is over. Summer begins.

Summer update to be posted later. Not nearly as much happened so it should be very few pictures and mostly text.


Mystic Mongol posted:

Yo, man, what?

I didn't actively hurt you! You committed a crime, and you feel the need to sic an ELEPHANT on me? After stripping me of my weapons?

Uncool, dude.

Sankis posted:

Well, to be honest I wouldn't have done it if you weren't a noble (since they're easily replaced and the law ones even more annoying when they jail my metalsmiths or whatever). I also didn't strip you of your weapons. For some reason you weren't wielding anyway (I was expecting you to actually kick the Elephants ass since you were very well armored. Steel plate, I believe)

I'm not touching you anymore though, so don't worry. I'm going to move your bed back to a makeshift hospital so the dwarves have no reason to not feed you. I also made you a tomb! On the plus side, you did gain like 4 levels of Wrestling!

Also, update coming later tonight. I'm only at the beginning of winter, but unless something incredible happens it'll likely be mostly text and cover both Summer and Winter (and fall if nothing still happens). The game is running rather slow now so i'm going to make clean up (especially liquids) a priority.

Mystic Mongol posted:

Don't worry about it too much... after my initial fury, I realized it was, indeed, pretty amusing.

I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next.


Shanty posted:

It's amazingly pathetic to watch the awesome military might of the goblins mass against a dwarven outpost, run howling and screaming up to the main door and then just stand there like lemons.

"Hey Zur! You clever, you read stinking dwarf runes, what this paper say?"
"Out... To... Uh, 'asin', to eat, uh, Lunch. Out to lunch, they out to lunch. Oh."
"Oh I guess we wait here. Garn! Stotho timing."
"Anyone bring a zadxe of cards?"


"What that smell?"
"It smell like burning elf tree home."
"Shut up Zur, we trying to think."
"But Heln, look!"
"What that!?"
"I think it the fiery blood of the mountains!"
"Oh shi"