The Let's Play Archive


by Leavemywife

Part 42: Update Forty One: I Feel Stupid

Welcome back! Last time, on Earthbound, we took a quick visit around Summers and I spent almost all of my money. Today, we're going to get high again, so let's get started.

Our first order of business is to head to the Stoic Club; there's something mysterious about it.

Maybe later. For now, we've gotta go clubbin'.

A single hieroglyph? Well, hot-diggity-daffodil!

Here we are.

Oh, well, sorry about that misunderstanding.

Since we were mistaken there, let's explore around this area.

And now this area has a proper name. Toto is a nice little area.

Aren't there some real human billboards out there? I'm certain I've heard of them before.

Ooh, a kitty!

If only our flying machine wasn't broken...

: through. Are you scared?

Pfft, no. It's a Goddamned sea snake, and I've whipped plenty of land-snake ass.

There's quite a few houses around here that we can enter. It seems that I was mistaken earlier in the thread when I claimed you couldn't enter a lot of the houses. Sorry about that, guys.

I like the setup this guy has here. It's simple, yet looks efficient.

A mysterious country, eh? Is anyone else getting "The Mummy" vibes here?

And I am talking about the remake with Brendan Fraser. I liked the first two of those; they weren't great, no, but they were entertaining.

Oh, this kitty seems mean. I don't like mean kitties.

But, hey, there's a shop. Let's see if he has anything worthwhile.

Oh, he's a salty old seadog.

Yaargh, I be lookin' for cheap swag!

Hmm... His stuff isn't bad. I'll probably be back for some water. It'll be quite valuable soon.

Is it just me, or does it looks like there's something searching for your soul down in that hole?

In this house, we find a man that probably does some of the exact same things in Fallout 2 that I do.

Except, maybe, he doesn't, as he's afraid of ghosts or something.

Oh, he's a lying, "grave-robbing" puss. Fabulous, but chances that we'll encounter mummies?

84%, if I've done my math correctly.

They told me it wasn't the Stoic Club!

: Oh, well then...Heeeeeeeeeeeey.

: I warn you, though, it's a strange place...

And probably full of assholes, too, for lying to a bunch of children.

Even though we have what we need to have to get into the Stoic Club, let's continue our exploration of Toto.

Oh, dammit. Who's calling us now?

Um...Okay. I suppose I can help.

: holding the controller. Would you register your name, please? Don't spell your name wrong!

Voting still isn't over just yet, so you have time to get your vote on. You have twenty-four more hours to vote.

Maybe? Hell, until the voting is over, nothing is correct in this spot.

Fuck off, Tony, it's fine.

Yeah, well, just holding us up in saving the world, jackass.

...It's a little late for that, Tony. He's died a couple of different times now.

Yep, see you later, Tony.

: it... From T-O-N-Y... You got that? Well I've been on the phone too long... Gotta go...

Yes, goodbye, Tony.

Goodbye, Tony.

...Goodbye, Tony.

Tony's a nice feller, though, isn't he?

Nice like this kitty is.

: I mean, any normal person would feel the same way.

Eh, this crew here isn't exactly normal, so we're not scared.

Well, yes and no. I mean, we'll have to take one eventually, but we've also got a club to hit...

Oh? Did she go sailing or something and now you're scared to go find her?

A likely excuse, but continue on, please.

...So, you're worried about your wife because she won't give you your fix anymore?

"It's called "NA" or some shit, I dunno."

Probably. I hope you didn't like being married!

Just a little bit more of Toto to go now.

Like this empty ass room.

I was nearly sure there'd be something on this shelf, but I was wrong. As far as I can tell, there's nothing here of interest.

So, let's move on to the next door. But first, let's chat with this guy.

Congrats! You have kindergarten level knowledge!

: Of course, it was dead! Believe what I'm saying!

Out of the underground? Are there still dinosaurs roaming around down there!?

Inside the second door, there's a man and his dog.

...What the hell, dog?

Oh, God no, please, anything but that!

Oh, thank God. Truly, the trumpet is the mightiest of weapons.

Last door around these parts.

Oh, there's an indoor kitty there.

Alright, we've finished our tour of Toto. We've got a phone call to make now.

: reservation? Certainly. We are looking forward to having you here. Thank you. Click! Beep-beep-beep...

And now, we head back to the Stoic Club.

Yeah, it's an...Interesting club. Let's make our rounds.

: your repudiation of entropy supports my theory of space-time synthesis. Of this, I am irrefutably confident.

: W-what?

We'll be talking to this lady last. She's important.

I get the idea this man is an asshole.

And that this lady is just bullshitting him to be nice.

Bwahahaha. I like this lady.

I guess that's our goal, too.

I imagine there's a lot of food that you can't get off your mind.

Don't worry, boss. We'll get her sorted out and making cake before you know it.

: Anyway, the absolute irony and study of self-identification is... Blah, blah, blah... I don't know what to do!

Does anyone know what the hell anybody in this club is talking about?

Not a single word, man.

: a glass of water and the chance to have serious, intellectual discussions. Actually, it's an easy business. You want a drink? We only serve water, though...

T-There's a show?

Let's chat with Magic-Cake Lady, shall we?

Oh, Jesus, now she's nuttier than a fruit cake.

: enough to burn a hole in their psyche. I'm now comfortable enough to stare at the real me, the true self, and burn the impression into my super-ego. I want to be in this comfort zone at any time, all the time or at no time. My id is telling me...

: Um, excuse me, I'm from Eagleland and I'm curious about your Magic Cake...

: What? What? Magic Cake? You came all this way just to eat my Magic Cake? I see... okay... Why don't you stop by a little cart out on the beach later?

: Sure, thanks!

We don't actually have to kill any time here; we can head straight to her cart.

If you'll recall that abandoned cart we saw earlier, this was her cart.

Well, yes. I guess.

I like how we convinced her to leave that club by telling her that we wanted delicious baked goods, and she dropped all that intellectual bullshit to go make some cake. I'm sure there's some sexism I could derive from that, but meh, there's cake.

Oh, boy. I'm sure leftover ingredients are the best.

...Oh, Jesus, it made us black out!

For a group of kids, it certainly seems like we get high a lot.

As for what happens in this dream...

Stay tuned to find out.