The Let's Play Archive

Fate/stay night

by seorin

Part 381: At the end of the dearest wish

"OhOh, ohhhhhhh."
Amidst the chaos, it is still conscious.

Music: Wandering Shadow

The body's a mere collection of dark red flesh, bearing no resemblance to a human being.
The swarm of worms fills the cavern.
It cannot maintain its body, even when using all of the worms.

"Oh, ohhh, oh, oh"
The writhing figure is just a moving pile of meat.
But it's alive.
The mass curses its rotting, melting body.

I don't want to die

Its obsession is the only thing keeping it in this world.

"OhhOhh, ohoh"
It crawls.
Makiri Zouken. The old magus, his soul's vessel destroyed, remains in this world only through sheer force of will.
But it's only a matter of time before he dies.
He stuffed his rotting soul into a hurriedly-constructed worm, but he can't heal his wounds after being killed twice.

I don't want to die

The old magus has turned into a pile of flesh, and will die after going through immense pain.
He'll rot until the very end and die in regret.
With his earnest desire in front of him.
What he yearned for, what he was about to obtain.

"OhOhh, ohhhhh."
Is his dying cry from pain or anguish?

I don't want to die

He doesn't want to die.
How can he just disappear?
Five hundred years.
The result he achieved after five hundred years, the reward he deserves, is right in front of him, so why does he have to disappear?

I don't want to die

But that's not why.
It's not that the Japanese soil didn't suit them.
The Makiri didn't die out because of an external factor.
They merely dropped out.

It has been three hundred years since the start of their search.
Three hundred years was their limit.
The family died out in Zouken's generation.
The suffering started there, and the old man could do nothing but deny the truth.
Matou Zouken's life was a frantic protest against the end of the Makiri bloodline.

"Oh, ohh, ohhhhhhh……!!!!"
Right, dying's not possible. The rotting body. It's painful. Nothing but pain. The five hundred years were filled with pain. Pain filled the whole life. So what's so bad about seeking eternity? Suffering without satisfaction. Can't disappear without leaving anything behind. The Holy Grail is right there. Grant the wish. The answer being "not wanting to die". The wish will come true on top of the cliff. But it's impossible with this body. This short distance is nothing compared to five hundred years. So why is it so far away!!!!?

A thought that's filled only with obsession.
Ignoring the impending collapse, it moves forward to the Holy Grail.
But someone calls out to the hideous monster.

Music: Stop

"You have changed, Makiri."
A bell-like, beautiful voice.

He looks up.

Within the blur.
Stands a girl.

The flesh stops moving forward.
It looks up at the girl in astonishment.
…The old magus doesn't see her.
A woman deep in his memory.
Einzbern's golden saint, who has stayed in his mind without fading.
Two hundred years ago.
His partner sacrificed herself to create the Great Holy Grail.

Music: Into the Night

It hasn't faded at all.
The holy woman still has the eyes he adores.
"I ask of you, my foe. Why do you not want to die?"
And the girl lets out a familiar voice.

The pure question shields his mind from the pain.
Now that she asks him, it is strange.
Why doesn't he want to die?
Why shouldn't he die?
Dying means escaping the pain, so why did he cling onto life along with all the pain involved?

"OhOhh, ohhhh."
He remembers.

Yes. In the beginning, he had a supreme goal.
To obtain all creation.
To obtain all knowledge.
To reach where no man can reach.
To exceed the limits of the body and reach the infinity we call the soul.

He remembers.
The grief of finding out there's no such thing as paradise.
If it doesn't exist in this world, if its creation is impossible with a human body, he inspired himself to go to a place where it can be done.
Not to make a new world, but to change his human life.

That's why he continued to live.
He can't die, no matter how much it hurts him.
He wanted to overthrow the youthful anguish he felt when he was young.
That was his way of life: the answer he came up with.

"OhOhh, oh……!"
That was his first wish.
The pain.
How small is the wish of not wanting to die, compared to pursuing a wish that will not come true…!?

"I see. You're right, Justizia."
…He looks up at the world.
The cavern's collapsing.
Matou Sakura has been released and taken out of this small world.
The Third Sorcery that was created by mistake, Angra Manyu, is flickering like a heat haze.
The old magus accepts that everything is out of his reach.

"So this is it.
My desire, my pain, Makiri's missioneverything ends here."
This end was determined at the start.
This is all that Makiri's journey can accomplish, no matter where it ends.

"HaHaha, hahaha."
In no way is it a miserable end to a life filled with pain.

It's probably just a start.
His journey is just starting.
Five hundred years is nothing.
How can it be reached in a mere five hundred years?
What they wished for is distant, dazzling, sacred… something that will come true in the distant future.
A growth of the human species that will come after many years, thousands of years, tens of thousands of years.

So this is a trifling, but meaningful matter to start the journey.
It's not that their desire ends here.
The journey starts here.
The history to reach the distance starts its loop with an end of a dream.

"But how disappointing. My, I was almost there."
The voice is that of the old magus.
No matter what light he sought, he's a heretic who approved of wrongdoing.
Not hiding it until the very end, he cuts his attachment to life.

The last one disappears.
One of the magi that sought a miracle, the observer that also started everything, rots away.

The one that lived on, taking many forms.
Every last trace of the magus vanishes from the world, as the embodiment of his desire is destroyed.

Music: Stop