Part 47: Forbidden: Recommendations
So the judges are corrupt.
I FUCKING KNEW IT!
Why else would spears be so utterly vile Bardmoon 13 that spearmen would have to rot in jail for using them, while they're they get special favors for using them on the 14th? It doesn't make a damn bit of sense, but the judges being corrupt explains everything.
Oh. There's corrupt judges elsewhere. That spear bullshit is perfect normal functioning.
Who better to root out corrupt judges than those who suffer from bad laws!
Yeah, what I said.
"If you hurt Cid I'll make you immune to arrest."
"CID! YOU BASTARD! I'LL SLASH YOUR THROAT!"
Of course, he means
Clan Marble. Best of luck guys!
Did I say Marble? It's Beouvle. Of course. Cid trusts Ivalice's biggest consumer of antilaws, led by a noted revolutionary.
Oh yeah, we still have to follow laws. Cid mocks the judge and makes him judge fairly.
Congratulations, funny hat person!
"Look at that hat! It's so tacky it has to be illegal! What, did he steal it from a blind person or something?"
It turns out the funny hat person is Ramza!
Consider, for a moment, who has had immunity ribbons.
- A chicken thief
- Whole Totema, crystals/fruit excluded
- Llednar (even though he was arrested)
- Wanted criminals, except Ramza
- Foreign warlords
- Foreign creatures
- Foreign demon lords
- Ancient demons
- A god
- Missing pets
- Ritz for all of one fight
- Babus until he joined
- Something else monumentally dumb that I can't remember right now
The protocol for immunity is... completely fucked up. Giving a random one to Ramza couldn't possibly hurt the system any.
JudgeWatch? That's the dumbest fucking name. It should be something like Crimestop.
Oh Cid, thanks for getting to the point!
He summons some dudes to fight for him. That Templar has an immunity ribbon so maybe this guy really is completely crooked.
It turns out Cid actually knows how to fight!
"But I have unique abilities that the law can't even consider so unless Knightswords are banned this entire conversation is moot."
Cid has the same equipment options as a Paladin, and his HP growth is above even the Warrior's.
Did I mention his unique abilities? Unlike Babus or Ezel, Cid's unique abilities are really unique, allowing all sorts of law-breaking fun for everyone!
Anyway Ramza's buddies start really far away from the action so Carson gets to relax a bit.
These guys are class-A jokes. Keep in mind to do this mission you have to beat Li-Grim and those level 39 dictator-obsessed guys.
Beouvle does the usual.
See? He has the ribbon. He still dies really easily.
Pictured: A man whose abilities amount to abusing his absolute powers.
And he gets teleported to jail before he can answer.
If this quest alone were the reward for completing 300 missions, FFTA wouldn't have the occasional guy who defends it.
It happened ages ago, and there isn't evidence of it until these missions start, then corrupt officials start crawling out of the woodwork.
"If only I had some sort of creature to ride to increase my movement speed, like an ostrich or something..."
"I've got eggs for that kind of creature just lying around!"
So even Cid joins! He's the fifth special character and sort of your "reward" for doing all the normal missions.
Note: Cid never alters his appearance and is instantly recognized as the Judgemaster.
Ramza's lips quaver, sweat forming on his brow. "I can make this man make stealing legal all day every day!" he thinks.
Well, I can't, because dispatches are done.
Cid forces himself into some of the fights, so I actually equip him pretty well. He gets exactly one action thanks to Norma, Ramza, and Lini blowing things to hell but it never hurts to be safe.
This scene starts as soon as you step on a town with Babus and Cid in your party.
Those words contain magicks so powerful they could take out a continent. Don't recite them unless you want to end all life.
...Or maybe they don't if a mage as powerful as Babus is supposed to be is saying them without issue or anything at all happening.
"Alta Oron Sondus Kameela!"
"Your Highness, can't you see I'm trying to watch TV? I just missed the joke."
Go to chapter 2 and look at what Mewt says after the Ramza complains about not being able to read it.
Sounds like someone in Harry Potter with Torrette's Syndrome. Wizard Torrette's.
"Babus, I never knew you were into that kind of thing."
"It means favorable you uncultured cretin!"
I happen to think the sound of a successful steal is pleasant.
"I mean he hangs out with mages all day and rewrote reality at least once, but knowing magic words? Crazy."
"Not having to fight giant dinosaurs in a lawless death town is a bit relaxing."
...How old is Babus now? I can't find a damn thing.
What I did find is that Babus was voiced by a girl in the radio drama.
Does this mean Babus is really young?
If so, why does Cid word it like he does? That's the kind of thing you tell old people.
Is it because Babus is a teddy bear given sentience and fire magic? If so then this game is really dumb sometimes.
You know what? Fuck this nonsense.
I'm tired of you guys and your banal conversations.
The only solution?
Kill all of them.
It wasn't easy due to Eldena being the only good character there, but through the power of doublecasting Madeen, she won!
And now all of them will join Montblanc in the afterlife!
He... teleported away...
They all are!
Why do they escape the reaper!?
Since when could they teleport like that?
Dammit! The whole plain failed!
Yes, Morphers get a combo, too. This also means someone forged a soul.
They all have their own little rejoining missions.
This opens up after that conversation between Cid and Babus.
It's Royal Valley again...
Babus is zonked out and Llednar taunts people and everything.
Well fuck that!
The fearsome villain Judge Mike! Can clan Beoulve defeat his random hodge-podge of equipment?