Part 1: Orbonne Monastery

Technically, the entire game is a flashback, a retrospective of events.


Oh, sure! It's the Ivalician equivalent of the War of the Roses - Two powerful dukes with equally valid claims to the throne try to beat the other side in to submission.


Larg, the White Lion, commanded the Hotuken knights on one side, while Goltana, the Black Lion, commanded the Nanten knights.

: Everybody living here knows this hero's tale... But we also know that what we see with our eyes alone isn't necessarily the truth.

That's Alazlam Durai, the historian who is studying the Lion War. He's technically our vantage point.



: There's no record of his playing an active in history but...


Two typos already! The paper is named the Durai paper for Alazlam's ancestor, and "concealed for many years by church" is a grammatical nightmare.

FFT has a lot of typos.


"This man, right here, is essentially Satan. Really."

And in those buttpants, I can see why they claim that.

: But is this the "truth"? Won't you join me on a journey for the "truth"?


FFT really likes its apostrophes. There's one late conversation where almost every subject is in quotes and it looks comical.


His proper name is Ramza Beoulve, but I'll leave naming to you guys!


FFT gives 14 characters for naming, so you can have fun with titles and serial numbers and shit.

Once again, let me lay down some rules:
1) Nothing obscene or silly like the above. I actually really like the plot of this game and I don't want it ruined by having to type bigdick all the time.
2) No names of other characters from this game. Two Delitas would get confusing. Fast.
3) Marche is forbidden. Derivatives of Marche are forbidden. Anything vaguely resembling Marche is forbidden. I don't want naming.
4) Ramza is fine.


But, for the purposes of this update, we're sticking with Ramza.


His birthday is up for votes. For this update, Ramza has the most patriotic birthday. This would make him a Cancer, the Crab.

Now, this has significant gameplay effects.


The hit rate and damage of attacks are influenced by the relationship between the zodiac signs of the attacker and defender. Each sign has two good relationships, which improve rates by 25%, two bad, which cut it by 25%, and a best/worst, which adds or subtracts 50% depending on gender, or acts like a bad relationship if its with a monster. Cancer, Ramza's sign has good match-ups with Scorpio and and Pisces, bad with Libra and Aries, and best/worst with Capricorn.

However, the zodiac signs of the bosses are not evenly distributed. The game weighs heavily on Virgos, including every boss in chapter 1, both of Ramza's duels (p.s. Ramza has two duels), and the final boss. Capricorn and Taurus have good relationships with Virgo, if Ramza is to blow these guys to bits really fast. Saggitarius and Gemini are bad, if Ramza wants to focus more on survival and let his allies blow these guys to bits. Pisces has a best/worst relationship, and both of the duels are with guys so it'd be worst in both cases, and the final boss is a monster so it'd be bad there.

However, planning around Virgo isn't necessary, just recommended.

Vote however, for a date, a sign, anything! The fact that I'm leaving this to a vote should show my confidence.

Anyway, on to the game.


Squaresoft's obsession with fancy CGI cutscenes precludes relevance to the plot. Some guys run towards this monastery while everything looks so goddamn nice. It breaks my poor computer, though.


The monastery is named Orbonne. If they ever mention Orbonne, they mean here.


Maybe I'm a nerd but I think this is the neatest opening line in a game ever.



: Just a moment, Agrias...
: The guards have already arrived.
: Princess, don't give Agrias any trouble. Please hurry...


The guards enter anyway, tired of waiting outside.



: Don't be rude to the princess, Gafgarion.

Gafgarion is his last name. His first name is Gaff. Gaff Gafgarion.

: Is this going to be alright, Agrias? This is an urgent issue for us.
: So there are rude knaves even among the Hokuten?

Hokuten means "Northern Sky" and the order was called such in WotL. It fits much better than the random Japanese.

: I'm being more than kind to the guard captains here. Besides, we're mercenaries hired by the Hokuten. I'm not obliged to show respect to you.
: What? How dare you!


Ovelia stops the hissy fits pretty sharply.


One thing this game does is that it shows conversations like this. It's a nice effect when watching the game in motion, but it doesn't show who talked first when stilled. I'll generally avoid showing both boxes like this without transcribing one first, but this one isn't bad.


Suddenly, sounds of fighting can be heard, and a wounded knight walks in!



Prince Goltana's men!?


1) Kill people
2) Pick herbs

Gaffy is going with 1.

: What, Ramza? You have a problem, too?



: Well then. Let's go!


Ivalicians are deeply religious folk. Being religious is a stat that has actual in-game benefits.

Outside, as a thunderstorm brews...



: What's wrong with Prince Goltana!? He's such an idiot! Does he want to start a war!?



: Just give us the princess or that beautiful face of yours will be scarred forever!

Then Gafgarion, Ramza, and the third merc, Rad, enter the scene...



: Leave this to us!
: We can't make money that way! Rad, Ramza! follow me!!



Thus begins the first battle.



: Nonsense! There's no need to kill them! That's just what Goltana wants us to do! Just let them go!
: That's impossible!


Everyone but Ramza is under AI control.


Wait... what? Every single time I've played this game he's targeted the archer to the left with Night Sword as his first action. If this is what's happening first thing, then this whole LP bodes to be... interesting.


Anyway, Gafagrion has a unique class, the Dark Night. He has special attacks that drain HP and MP. This is night sword, which drains HP.


I guess he targets that guy if zodiac compatibilities are right... but these guys have fixed names. Hell, this is where Biggs and Wedge are! I thought these guys were static.


Anyway, Ramza's turn comes up, showing off the pretty menu. Auto-battle lets the AI handle things, but the AI does some dumb things sometimes.


Every number here but one and every other value will be relevant at some point. The class magical evade won't be as it is always zero.




Anyway, here's proof I wasn't digging that zodiac stuff out of my ass.


Ramza's special skills are tackling somebody, healing basic statuses, and wishing he could do something cool.


Without a ranged attack and too few move to actually reach an enemy, Ramza swats the air.


Agrias is a Holy Knight, whose special attacks inflict statuses.


Ah, how lucky! Every ability but Magic Sword spells (due to a glitch) can randomly start with an incantation. They're frequently nonsense. The attack's name is Stasis Sword, which should give you an idea of what to expect.


PA * (WP+2). Agrias has a lot lower PA than Gaffy, and Gaffy has an accessory that boosts his PA anyway.


Lezales is the only danger here, due to his knightly HP, PA, and skills that allow him to break equipment.


Poor Ramza's head is now bared to the rain.


What the fuck why do you have potion this shit is going to drag on now isn't it.


Potions heal 30 HP. Healing HP is denoted in blue numbers. HP damage is white, MP healing is green, and MP damage is purple.


QUIT HEALING EACH OTHER AUGH


This battle isn't hard, actually. You'd have to go out of your way to lose.


Two incantations in one battle? Lucky me!


Gaffy and Agrias are just much more powerful than anyone else and you have 6 guys to their 5.


Rad takes down an archer.


Killstealer. You get 10 extra experience for landing a killing blow.


For every level you have over the target, you gain one fewer experience. The inverse is true - lower level characters gain more experience.


Lezales is all "Fuck you Rad."


Job levels increase the JP gained from actions. JP (Job Points) is used to learn new abilities.


This archer is charging, preparing a stronger attack in exchange for being completely vulnerable. The damage increase from charging can wreck people.


Compare Ramza's HP and MP now and before. Unless you hit a level which gives an extra point of Speed or PA, two or three HP and MP is all you get.


Agrias's Steady Stasis Sword hits Gafgarion, but it hits Lezales harder. Agrias being this aggressive is another first.


Gafgarion takes out Lezales, despite the worst compatibility between a Virgo and a Pisces.

See? More proof I'm not digging this out of my ass.


One of Agrias's knights (I think it's Alicia) takes down the archer, ending the attack.


But was it all in vain!?


As Agrias rushes in, the view changes to behind the monastery...


A mysterious knight has the princess captive!

: Why should I listen to you?
: What an annoying Princess.


The knight socks her in the stomach, knocking her out.


He then lifts her and takes her to his chocobo.







Before Agrias can catch the knight, however, he jumps off the dock. Since chocobos can navigate waters much faster than people, there is no hope of catching up to him...



As Agrias laments her failure, Ramza notices something...






And the scene ends on that note...