Half Life 2

Part 30

welcome back to my ass. the main reason im even updating is just so people dont think im a quitter, which im NOT. i mean do i look like a scientist to you? Anyways for this next part you have to do a whole bunch of bullshit i dont feel describing in detail, so let me give you the abridged version

gay

Hahaha

gay

anyways this next part is pretty gay too. this whole chapter seeems to revolve around the concept that running around dodging helicopter fire is fun, which it fucking isnt.

i come across a dead soldier surrounded by various health items. its not obvious how he died, since theres really nothing around him dangerous in any way except that god damn helicopter. but seriously, you have to wonder. he's next to TWO first aid kids and THREE of those batteries, couldnt he have, you know, USED them?

anyways you gotta run along this ledge here and try and dodge the helicopter fire which is pointless because it's impossible

im not sure what the hell this area is but i dont like it

uh oh guys i better watch out for Aigh Voliage hahaha

on the other hand maybe i actually should

so much of this area is just squeezing through these stupid narrow as shit cliffs. its not fun god damnit. i got stuck and had to reload a previous save twice

oh god. another hole worm. luckily hes not much of a threat because he cant fucking move and he never gets anywhere near enough to hurt you

great more of these useless little shits

and more stupid crawling through tiny holes

hmmm im not sure but something is telling me the next area may not be entirely safe

luckily i can test the area with these little buggers. finally useful for once

yep, thats a mine alright

most of them just come back and try and kill me though

i find a huge turd surrounded by barbed wire. if i took a shit that big id probably want to keep it too

its rock climbing, joel. rock climbing.

that arrow is pointing back where we came from, so i guess that huge dump was actually the SDH

then something exciting happens! no wait actually just more of this shit. anyways i think im almost done with this area

wait a second, this looks familiar.. this is where i fucking started! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO PULL, GAME?

god damnit, as you can clearly see i was supposed to take the right crack in the wall earlier instead of the LEFT one. Thanks for being so clear, Valve, you jackasses

anyways i get to take my frustration out on some queergay soldiers i find

maybe you shouldnt throw grenades in here you dumbass

thanks for the arrows, sign. i never would have been able to figure out which wheel to turn without your guidance

oh boy, we get to go down the storm drain hatch.

im excited already

ahhh the beautiful outdoors. a fighter jet flies by but hes too fucking fast to get a picture of. i tried about a hundred times and this was the best picture i could get, its the blur on the right. I SWEAR.

if you move even one inch outside the pipe you get raped in the fucking eyesocket by a turret which is way, way too far away for you to hit

lets just take another moment to admire the scenery whilst hiding behind this rock. although the more i stare at it, the more it starts to look like donkey kong country 3. that is not a compliment.