Part 49: Episode 49: Chirper’s Last Hurrah?! Part 1

Episode 49: Chirper’s Last Hurrah?! Part 1

Goodness, hello everyone. I’m here with...wait, just you, Rom? Where’s your sister?
She said you’re a jerkface and she wouldn’t do anything where you were there.
G-Goodness, I wonder why?
I dunno…
A-Anyway, we’ve got an update to do.



Yes, though it’s strange to say them after we’ve transformed. My sister’s other name is Purple Heart, for example.
Lady Vert is called Green Heart.
Noire is Black Heart and Blanc is White Heart.
Why the sudden interest?
I thought it was pretty cool. Heroines who transform are so awesome!
If I could transform, of course I would be the symbol of burning passion…Red Heart!
You’d be more like ranger than transforming superheroine.
What colors would you all choose?
I don’t really care.
Don’t be lame. Here, look!
Okay, whatever. I really like black, but that’s taken. Do I have to pick?
It doesn’t have to be a color. This is just pretend, after all.
I see. Something dark. Dark Heart? No, even more sinister…Chaos Heart. How’s that?
Sounds like a heavy metal band.
It’s almost painful.
Oh gee, thanks. What about you, huh!?

Still, I wish I knew why Ram was so angry all the time.



I prefer noun. Alchemy Heart wouldn’t be too bad.
I’m rather fond of the blues, so blue. Oh, maybe Rockin’ Heart. That’s cool, plus it sounds like a musician.
What about me? Maybe Pink Heart to match my hair and personality?
Compa, I think it’s obvious. Keep it simple and be Compile Heart.
Wow, it’s 100 percent made for you.
All right, those are our names!
What!? Why can’t we give mine a little more of a twist?

Well, Mina said both of us are like parts of our sister.



It’s not the only reason, but sure. I don’t come back very often, but it is my hometown.
Out of curiosity…how long have you and Histoire been friends?
Well, about that… It’s kind of a long story.
Oh? It’s surprising to see you act so hesitant about something.
Actually, she made me promise not to discuss our past.
Histoire did? Oooh, now I’m even more curious.
I really can’t tell you.
Just a tiny bit. Please? A teeny, tiny hint? Pretty, pretty please?
Maybe it’s okay to give you a hint.
I met her before I became an adventuress, honestly.
What? That’s so long ago, isn’t it?
Yeah. There was a lot of drama… It’d fill up at least two books.
Long story short, I got my Dragon Slayer sword from her and became an adventuress.
Whaaaat? That’s such a juicy hint. I mean, it’s not enough at all. How’d she decide to give you the sword?
Sorry. I can’t say anything else. If she approves someday, I’ll write about it. Please wait until then.
Such a tease. Now I’m more curious. What really happened in her past?

Is that how it works? Huh, I wonder how I’m like Neptune then?



Okay, whatever. I’ll just take a break from work for today, and…
Not ‘today,’ but ‘like usual,’ right?
Jinkies, Iffy!
Don’t say random catchphrases from really old cartoons.
Noooo… Iffy, how dare you ambush me. Are you gonna turn me in to the proper authorities or whatever?
Those are Histoire’s orders.
Please lemme go! If I work for more than an hour, the bomb inside me will go off!
Let’s see you say that in an hour.
Iffy… * sniff, pout * Look into my sad, abandoned puppy eyes.
Don’t say that about yourself.
Fine, you leave me no choice but to… Um…actually, I got nothin’.
Jeez. I’m starting to feel like this is stupid to waste my time with. Fine, I’ll pretend I didn’t see you.
Oh…really?
Just this once, got it?

You both have purple hair.



Not a care in the world. Since I made that promise, I shouldn’t stay here. I’ll go kill some time elsewhere.
Then why don’t se just hang out? It’s lame to skip work alone.
That makes me an accomplice.
If you don’t play with me… I’ll tell Histy you neglected your crazy important duties…
You’re gonna repay my favor with blackmail? Screw this. I’m taking you to Histy right now!
Crap! No, no, I was wrong! I’m sorry!
If you understand, go play by yourself.
Nooooooooooo! You’re not spiffy anymore. I wanna play with you.
Oh…jeez, fine. Just for today, okay?
Sweet!

I-Is that all?



Whatcha want? Ask me anything.
What exactly does a CPU do?
Oh, so you’re old enough to ask that. Are you starting to realize the crazy importance of being a CPU and stuff?
More than that, I just never seem to see you working. I’m curious.
I work! I do! I made a really big effort when nobody’s watchin’ me.
Oh, I’m sorry. If I have an idea what you do, maybe I can help in the future?
Jeez, fine. I’ll let you be my apprentice. You’ll learn only from me.
First up, check this out. This is called a telephone.
Yes, it is.
When it rings, you pick it up and say hello and stuff. Then you go visit the person and make their wish come true.
Neptune, your very first lesson should not begin a web of lies.
Hello, Histoire.

You kind of dress alike?



Nepgear, it is best if you do not direct such queries to Neptune.
Neptune is the least CPU-like CPU.
Oof, I felt that one like a punch.
That might be good advice, though. Maybe I should’ve asked you, Histoire.
You’re agreeing with her? Nep Jr., you’re being mean, too.
A CPU is the symbol of a nation. To exist as such a symbol is the intrinsic value of a CPU.
Exist…as a symbol. It sounds simple, but I bet it’s pretty challenging.
You need to behave how the citizens expect their CPU to behave.
Yep, that’s super tough. You gotta have dignity or be suave or whatever.
You also have to handle numerous documents sent from all branches of the nation’s government.
All national decisions fall on the CPU to approve or deny. It is important for the CPU to be smart in a lot of fields.

I-I guess we’re not really a lot alike…



You gotta hit the books sometimes. If you’re not brainy, you can’t really call yourself a CPU, y’know?
Of course, military exercises also fall under the CPU’s jurisdiction.
Normally the CPU functions as a battle deterrent. Should war break out, the CPU must be a leader on the front lines.
I think that’s mostly what I’m doing at the moment.
In the end, power is the key! Nobody will rally behind some lady who’s super weak and trembling.
Other miscellaneous tasks exist, but we have covered the important functions.
Neptune only proves acceptable in the last point we discussed.
Heck yeah, I’m only good for clobberin’! Wait, Histy, that’s not the case at all!
When all is said and done, even her only strong point proved insufficient, as she was captured for three years.
Now you’re being super-duper mean!
Nepgear, please observe her as an averse role model and do the opposite. If you do, you will be a great CPU.
Y-Yes, I understand.
I had no idea you thought I was bumming around! Bah, pissy Histy!
Maybe you were a bit hard on her…
Yes, I feel some remorse, but it is all to get Neptune more motivated.
That was your intention all along?
I hope she will work harder now.
I’m not so sure about that. This is Neptune we’re talking about…

Maybe that’s a good thing, though.



I don’t care about Nepgear that much.
Um, Ram…
Rom? Uh, well… I’m sorry about the other day.
It’s okay. Lookit this.
Your handheld game system? Whoa, what’s this stuff? It’s got cool decorations on it.
Metallic art.
That’s totally rad! I like it. How’d you get this stuff?
Miss Nepgear did this for me.
* snap! *
If you like it, I bet she’ll decorate yours, too.
Oh jeez! That’s great for you! She tries sooooo hard to impress you!
Whatever! I don’t need a stupid, awesomely decorated handheld. All that matters is that I can play it!
W-Wait…
I lost it again…

I mean, your sister’s funny but we don’t need two of her.



I gotta try even harder.
U-Um, Ram… Ummmmmm…
Rom! Well, um, I…
Lookit…
An antenna? Meh, I bet I know who made it.
Miss Nepgear. It’s really amazing. If you attach it here, you can talk to people far away.
Nepgear this, Nepgear that! Why don’t you just marry her!
Eep!
Hmph. I’m so jealous of you, Rom! She plays with you and makes you stuff and impresses the tights off you!
She doesn’t play with me at all!
Uh-oh.
I hate her! I really, really hate her!
I messed up again… I always make her yell at me… Waaaah…
Rom? Goodness, are you crying?
Miss Nepgear…
Oh dear, please don’t cry. Can you tell me what happened?
I tried my best… I wanted to make you and Ram friends.
But I just make her mad… Waaaah…
Aww, that’s so sweet… Thank you, Rom.
* sniff, whimper *

I guess you’re right.



But…
You tried really hard for me. That by itself makes me so happy.
Mmm…
Why’d she just give up so easily!? She definitely doesn’t wanna be friends with me at all!
I don’t care, I don’t care! I’ll just ignore her forever!
Wait… I think I’m already ignoring Nepgear…
I don’t get it. I lost track… Was I mad at her…or…what?

S-So, are we done for today?
Looks like. Next Time, Hyperdimension Neptunia Mark Two: Chirper’s Last Hurrah, Part Two: Ram’s Jealousy and Blanc’s Book!