Part 8: Red Dead Redemption

Last time on Hyperdimension Neptunia, we hung out with some new friends! Now on Hyperdimension Neptunia…

Our heroines next found themselves in the mystical, magical land of Lowee.



So anyway this place has the greatest crepes, don’tcha think? I’m going to make Iffy buy me some next time.



Wait, she went without me? That’s no fun!



I’ve always wanted to try it so she can finally shut up and stop pestering me about it.
But crepes made in Lowee, the magical fantasy kingdom… That does sound magically delicious!
Well then. Could I please get two custard crepes? One with the apple topping.
In that case, make mind with pork cutlet and natto toppings, please!
R-Red?! Where are you? You sound far away…
Here I am! Atop this ropeway!
I… I can’t see that far. The voice is coming from that way, but…
Waaah! I can’t get down, Iffy!
…The voice has faded.

You’re not even in these scenes, stop yelling. Anyway, the mysterious weirdo Red had returned once more!



Whoa! H-How’d you get here so fast?
Oh, don’t sweat the small stuff! Where’s my squid and radish crepe?
That’s completely different from your initial order.
…Yours looks good, in that sweet, girly, wifey sense. Is mine ready yet? I’m kind of anxious…
Um, you want to share my custard-only one? I haven’t taken a bite out of it or anything.
Thanks, Wifey Number 1! Then why not order another one? My treat!
I can’t make my dearly beloved pay for me. …How’s that? More points for giving a good impression?
I gave you one, so we’re just even now.
But… sure, I’ll give it to you. ‘Plus ten points,’ as you might say.
Oh, then let’s do +40!
…Twenty.
Um, +30!

What’s the deal with Iffy hanging out with this creepy girl instead of buying me food anyway?



The first wifey to give me one-hundred points total gets a bonus item and hotel event!
Bonus item? H-Hotel… event?

What’s a hotel event anyway? Is it like a party? Like cakes and candles?



Pretty sure candles would also be worth an M rating.



Whoa! …Such a sudden appearance and random topic. What kind of quiz?
It’s a ‘How Well Do You Know Red?’ quiz!
You will answer personal, perhaps even private, questions about me!
Um, okay. Is there going to be a question I actually know the answer to?
I dunno! We’ll find out.
I don’t see this working out, but fine.
Okay! If you get it wrong, you have to do whatever, and I mean WHATEVER, I tell you to do.
Wait, what…?!
Question the first! What is Red trying to collect right now?

Um… It’s hamburgers, right?



F-Five seconds?! I don’t see the right answer anyway!
Five… four… three… Ooh! Another choice appears!
1) Gummies 2) Fishies 3) Moneys 4) Sleepies …Which is it, Iffy?
What’s the point of the fourth one?!
Bzzzt! Sorry, time’s up. The correct response was ‘wifeys.’
Grr, this is totally unfair. You didn’t even offer the right answer in your choices.
Correct! In this case, Iffy wins! The answer is ‘none of the above!’

Do you… do you pay attention to these things? Like at all?



Okay, then I’m right. Good… I was worried for a minute.
It was fun, right? …By the way, this should also add points to my charisma level.
Sure, it was interesting. So, the points added will be…
Good! Charisma +40!
…So you’ve given yourself eighty points total already, huh?

Well the scene was getting boring because I wasn’t in it so I started thinking about food.



Then you’ll like this one, it’s about food.



The top-rated baker in all of Lowee! Their blanc-manger with white peach is their specialty.
They only make a set number each day… I’ve been waiting to get my hands on this for such a long time…
I only could get one, but that’s infinitely more than zero.
What’re you talking about?!
Red?! What are you doing underneath the bench…? Have you been waiting there all along? Were you… sleeping there?
Well, actually, these ants are… B-But anyway! What’s that? Wiggly-squiggly gelatin?
A dessert called blanc-manger. I heard people talk about it, so I thought I’d try it out too.
Oooooh…
…Do… you want to try a bite?
Can I?! Sweet! Well then… Agump!

Oh dear! It seems Red ate IF’s dessert! This is sure to cause a thing to happen or something!



…Huh?! There’s no more left for Iffy! No chance for indirect kisses!
Aww…
I feel like I’ve upset my wifey… This calls for an idea!

Hey, I remember this actually. I wondered where Iffy got all those.



It’s addressed to me… Who in the world would send me this? It’s packed full of… something…
…An envelope. Let’s see… ‘Sorry for the other day.’
Uhh… ‘Disappointing my beloved wifey definitely deserves minus points.’
Minus points? ‘As an apology, I got you a bunch of that blanc-something. –Red’
Aww, I didn’t know she was beating herself up over that. Oops. She didn’t have to do this…
…
…
What’s all this crap…? Manju…? Lowee’s specialty, Lady Blanc’s Manju.
Pffft… Hahaha! I don’t blame her for getting them mixed up.
This is so like her…

With that, they headed for Lastation.



It just so happened there that IF ran into her friend 5pb!



Hey, why does she always go run off without us to hang out with her other friends?



IF! You came all this way to see me?
Something like that. Want to tag along with me to a festival? It’ll be fun.
Huh?! Ummm… Do you... really want me to go?
Sure! Don’t worry, I’ll be there the whole time. Let’s just go for a little bit.
…Okay, but you better stay with me the whole time. I’ll grip your sleeve real tight.
W-Well, yeah. While we’re there…
…We should try to work on your anxiety issue somehow.
You have an idea? How do we do it? Will it hurt? It won’t be easy, y’know.
Close your eyes and hold onto my hands.
L-Like this? Where are we going? I can’t see…
Just keep your eyes closed until I say you can open them. I’m letting go now.
Just keep your eyes closed until I say you can open them. I’m letting go now.
Will this really keep me from getting anxious?
IF…?

Oh my god, am I not cool enough for her?



I… I’m in the middle of a crowd! IF! …IF?!
O-Oh, I’m… I’m sorry…
Man: Yo, watch it!
I’m so sorry, ‘scuse me… Uggggh…

Am I like that lame aunt who knits?



Th-That was horrifying…
What could be more effective, though? I know it was kind of rough, but…
More than ‘kind of!’ I can’t believe you left me all alone in that.
I’m sure you’re prone to get anxious over most anything, right?
Your guard was down since it’s your day off and you thought I was here with you.
…I dunno if you’re mentoring is going in the right direction…
C’mon, you’ll get used to it. You can’t become confident in a single day.
Oh, hello?
I ordered room service.
I’m ready to listen to you complain, but let’s relax and fill our stomachs first.
Hmm?
What’re you doing under the bed? Are you looking for monsters? They’re in the closet, you know.
Oh… Um, sorry. Hiding… is a reflex.
We’ve got a long way to go…

If it will get us back on track you’re totally not lame.



It turned out to be convenient that IF had run into 5pb, because she was having a problem with her CDs.



Right. They won’t even look at me, let alone stop and watch me sing…
It’s been this way for a few days… I don’t get why this is happening…
Maybe my songs aren’t reaching people’s hearts anymore…?
What’re your thoughts?
I doubt that’s it. Your songs weren’t written recently, you know?
Yeah…
Then they aren’t the issue. Cheer up!
It’s odd people are reacting differently all of a sudden, though…
…I’ll come to your next show. Let’s meet up there.
Gah! Are you going to drag me somewhere else and abandon me?!
No. Relax. I’m going to gauge your fans’ reactions.

See if they would stop leaving me out of things I could beat people up until they listen! I’m very useful!



See? Maybe a person or two will look my way every now and then, but…
Am I in… a slump?
Nah. It’s not your music or your talent. It’s like people are actively trying to ignore you.
This has never happened to me before… I dunno what to do…
…
Man: Well, let’s check this out…
What?! Why would anyone pay so much for a single CD?!
What’d you say?
Man: You got a problem, lazy eyes? I’m just speaking on behalf of consumers.
This is a preposterous price for a CD with only a handful of songs!
That’s incorrect. It’s the standard MSRP for this type of product.
Plus, 5pb’s songs hold value and meaning you can’t buy with money. This is a great deal for what you get!
Man: What a typical sales pitch. It’s obvious you’re just looking to cash in for a quick buck.
Then listen to her live! Don’t judge her skills before you even hear her!
IF, it’s okay…

And I could make them buy the CDs, because I’m really strong.



Man: You can’t say the sounds on this disc are worth as much as her live show.
Y-You’re grasping at straws! You better shut up, or else…
No, IF! This… This isn’t his fault.
It’s my fault the CDs aren’t selling.
If people don’t think my CDs are worth their price, that’s how I see it.
Lyrica…
Man: Hmph. At least she understands more about lift than you do.
What was that?!
Please, enough…!
Ugh, fine. You’re off the hook this time. Just get outta my sight!
Man: Don’t bother asking. You need to learn your place.
Grrr…!

I’m sure that’s illegal. After all that, 5pb was pretty down.



No, I forgot he was your customer. I might’ve made the situation worse.
IF…
It’s getting late. I better go. Good night!
G’nite.
Thanks, IF… You have my heart.

Still why weren’t her… thingies selling?



Wait are you asking a question that makes sense? Nope, not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. That’s a very good question, Neptune, and one IF wanted the answer to as well!



I’m sure the cheaper, the better… I wonder how I can reduce the price…?
Hmm. It’s hard to think of a way.
But his voice… is the voice of the market.
My songs aren’t worth their current price.
If they can’t sell at a standard price, it means I’m not cut out to be a musician.
Mr. Guitar… What do you think? Do I play you well enough?
…
Not like it’d answer me.
Guitar: …Don’t you fret, dear Lyrica.
Th-The guitar… talked!
Guitar: Indeed. Don’t underestimate this guitar!
I promise I’ve been at your side for many years and I swear by your skills as 5pb!
Really? Do you really?
Guitar: Of course. Keep doing what you do, and your songs will soon reach the hearts of all people!
Remember the times we struggled and worked tirelessly together!
…Yes! Thank you, Mr. Guitar!

First, though, she had to cheer poor 5pb up.



Wh-What?! IF, when did you…?
About the same time Mr. Guitar gave you a pep talk.
If meant what I said, though. You’re not doing anything wrong.
Don’t ever doubt yourself!
Okay!

Later, her contacts turned up the nefarious truth behind 5pb’s flagging sales!



This must be why the 5pb CDs aren’t selling anymore.
Illegally copied discs…
…And the black market dealers handling those discs.
It says ‘The only rule to become a member is to never purchase an official disc.’
Hmm. ‘If you follow this one rule, you can get any CD at a very cheap price.’
…Seems 5pb’s songs are listed on their product catalog. This must be the reason.
I knew something was wrong.
…This is unforgiveable!

Wait that’s it? That’s where you’re ending? Lame.

Next Time on Hyperdimension Neptunia: Pirates! We make some new friends for real this time!