Part 59: Mecha - Update # 5After having thoroughly explored this area,
we reach an ominous computer room with no music.
I like how in the Near Future, computers have become giant vacuum tube beasts.
Now I mean this example can't speak for all computer programmers and CSes, and I'm only going off of the knowledge of one particularly naïve computer programmer (I myself am outside lookin' in because for all my effort, the way my brain's wired, I could barely pass Intro to Java ICS101 with a Mercy C-Minus), but they all seem rather... how did Terry Pratchett put it? CRAB BUCKET. When you're a herd of single, obese, balding, mid-life crisis nobodies, you're gonna try to force it on all the new blood you can possibly trick because misery loves company.
I feel bad for my bro because he's falling victim to this, and he doesn't even realize it because he's a farm boy trying to make it in the big city and never learned how to spot a poor situation when he sees it.
No, this room isn't creepy at all, what are you talking about
Anyway, we're in this room to read this guy's mind. He gives us a door code--in this case, F49F--and we can now complete this area.
oh jesus those are
What? No, you're Matsu, and you're not fooling anyone with that "I'm stammering over my own name because it's a fake name to trick you" act
oh wait no that's just the general's name
"My name is Cindelman...
My research on liquefied humans progressed immensely thanks to Toei!"
let me get this right, your research on putting people into blenders to amplify their, uh, "spirit energy" progressed because you watched kamen rider
... well sure i can buy that
So as Toei mentioned before, he used to work at this facility. I assume that he used to work with this Cindelman fellow, and that Matsu helped him bust out before the shit hit the fan.
Oh, it's Kumotatsu from the temple.
Kumotatsu means... Cloud Dragon (specifically referring to the Dragon from the eastern zodiac, or possibly the constellation; anyone who has played a Capcom game knows that there's a separate word for the one we're all thinking of), I think.
"As the 2,000 people merge into one, the great Odeo will descend unto the Inko buddha statue!"
And we finally have our Odio reference of the chapter.
"Here's a present from the professor...!"
Man didn't we just see a W-1 at the very beginning of this update
I knew I should've paid more attention to that console.
you sure don't look liquefied, asshole, but i can fix that
If you move to a certain position behind him (maybe even just melee range actually), then have someone else attack it, W-1 will counterattack with a self-destruct.
Like any good self-destruct, he immediately dies, which is convenient for us, even if Hiccup died and I didn't show it.
Yeah, this is probably the most Watanabe in the entire game.
So yeah I have no idea what these guys were doing in here. As we will shortly see, they have enough bodies to execute their master plan, but maybe they were having a celebratory , I dunno.
"Toei: Buriki Daioh...
A saint from Babylonia of old is said to have controlled it via psychokinesis."
bullshit, why isn't buriki daioh the uu that you can create with a great prophet in civ 4, or the uu replacement for the gdr in civ 5 then huh
furthermore did c.1994 japan even know what a babylon actually was
Hiccup wasn't able to do it."
Damn, Roald Dahl would shit a brick.
On the other hand, considering some of the other stuff he's written, I'm kind of surprised he didn't write a short story involving getting a couple thousand esio trots together and throwing them into a big-ass blender.
oh man maybe i should, a prolific publisher might pick it up simply on account of it being edgy
"Buriki Daioh is powered by the human spirit."
"I know! I'm not going to get better! I'm just going to die!
But if I can become a liquefied human, I can be with you! Forever!!"
Shit, this chapter is morbid. Aside from its other weirdness, it's becoming more and more apparent why this game never reached the west's "immature" audiences.
"If all it needs is a pilot, guess I'll give it a go."
There's no such thing as im-POSSIBLE, Hiccup, only im-PROBABLE.
xander (that's with a ks-) has obviously never read a how to train your dragon book because they are actually pretty great and are not about dragons
they are about vikings. dragons are somewhat of a flavorful afterthought.
(this, of course, does not stop me from thinking the common-or-garden toothless dream dragon toothless is so wonderful and definitely the hero and who is this hiccup kid anyway as if i were eight years old)
Yes game keep kicking me when I'm down
Well, to the antiques shop, I guess.
Oh let's stop at the temple first, though.
jeez why would you even build something like this
And now, we have to go through Toei's dumb shit all over again.
Actually no we don't, I just wasted all that time for nothing.
This time, we have to talk to some people in the park, and they will point us toward
this impossible-to-discern corner bar.
Looks like someone couldn't get Buriki Daioh to work
After seeing Matsu being depressed...
some Crusaders light Chibikko House on fire as soon as we step outside.
Hiccup, you might be a shitty
"Get out of here!"
So now we have to check every room and notice that they're all empty.
Finally, the common bedroom opens up and you can find Kaori.
"Hiccup: Are you okay!?"
How are we gonna get out of this one?