Part 8: Odds and Ends #1Guess what children? It's time for me to go over some of the stuff I missed and couldn't be bothered to put in the main updates for whatever stupid reason. So get ready for an update full of dialogue, because it's time for...
Odds and Ends #1
We're going to be jumping around a bit in the game. First off, here's a bit I missed waaaay in the beginning, when Leo is at Gwyn's house.
: Say, your grandpa Gwyn says he doesn't know anything about a destroyer. Being such a skilled archaeologist, I find that hard to believe. Doesn't it seem odd that Gwyn doesn't know anything about a destroyer, when he's devoted his life to unlocking the secrets of the Blue Spire?
: No odder than you being 35 and never having a girlfriend!
By the way, I'm pretty sure Leo is not 35. Since Ronfar supposed to be 19 (still can't get over that myself) Leo being 35 is pretty unlikely. I don't know Leo has an official age, actually. I'm probably wrong, mind you, so if you know please feel free to correct me.
EDIT: 18. Apparently he's supposed to be 18. Yeaaaaah riiiiiight....
Let's jump ahead to after Lucia's been cursed, but while she's still laying on the couch writhing in pain.
: Especially if Lucia was there all by herself...
Ever since Croweton mentioned that he thinks text boxes filled with nothing but ellipses indicate flatulence, I can't get it out of my head. Hiro in particular seems to really like beans.
If we check this telescope after Lucia's back in the party...
: I guess he was right...
: The tower... it links two parts of the same...
I don't speak Foreshadowing, Lucia, you'll have to be clearer.
All right, this next one requires you talk to Ronfar before you've asked about it. I think there is a specific NPC that triggers the flag that allows you to talk to continue the plot when you talk to Ronfar, although I'm not 100% who it is.
: Well, what are you doing in here? No priest would hang out in this joint. Say guys, isn't it a waste of time to look for this Ronfar guy? I mean, why not forget about him and join me for a nice game of dice? I promise to go easy on you for the first couple of rounds... Well, what do you say? I know that if you were a man, you'd take a shot at wealth! Tell ya what. If you win, I'll give you my house. But, if I win, I get your little flying cat-thing. I'm sure I can find some use for it... pet shop, zoo, stew... somethin'...
: Liar! Cheat! Barbarian! Why would you want to eat me?!
Thankfully, unlike the first game this person who's says they'll eat our companion is kidding... I think.
Aside from Ronfar, there's a couple of NPCs I didn't include in the main update for whatever reason.
: I don't wanna gamble against Ronfar again... shut-up! Get outta there I said! He used to be a priest! He knows unholy tricks! ...get off me... ahhh!
Mainly because I have no idea what to make of this.
: I'm a Red Dragon, and you better show me some respect, or I'll toast your hide!
: Wah haa hah! I didn't know Red Dragons were now coming in bite-sized packages!
: Oh really? Well have you ever seen a 'bite-sized' package do this?
: Ooooouch! Hey! You burned me, you little runt!
: Now then, what do you have to say for yourself, pig?
: Well, you can blow fire, all right, ya lousy furry lizard...
: What did you say?
: Oh... uh... nothing... nice day, huh?
In all fairness, I really should have includes this. Oh well.
: One day my knight in shining armor will ride through those doors and sweep me off to a new life with shimmering palaces and dazzling wealth...
: Uh, I think you'd better lay off the romance novels for a while, sister. Fabio ain't comin' for ya, I'm sorry to say...
Besides, you'd probably send most of your time posing in front of a fan with your shirt open. Imagine it gets boring after a while.
: If I don't find a new job, I'm think about going on welfare. At least then I can do what I want and still get a check twice a month.
: Sounds like a plan to suck your life down the toilet.
Social commentary! (Also, Larpa has welfare?)
: If I hadn't wagered myself, I'd never be in this place working like a slave. It sucks to be in debt. Be smart... don't start. Believe me! I know what I'm talking about. Never wager more than you can pay.
I'm just saying, if the town you live in has people in indentured servitude, I'm thinking their social services aren't too great.
Now we jump ahead to after Lucia collapses, but before we head to Ronfar's house and trigger that whole scene.
: ...then call me terminal!
Now I'd normally re-iterate my disbelief in why this lady is fawning over Ronfar, but I get it now. You see, when he cured Lucia, he sparkled. And we all know what it is about sparkling men.
I feel kind of dirty for making that joke.
Now this is after Ronfar joins, but before we make it to the sanctuary, and by now Lucia is would be screaming "GET THE FUCKING SANCTUARY ALREADY!"
: Say there, fella, have we met? Can't say that I remember ya. But I think a little lithium might be just the ticket for ya. Check it out, bud.
Fun fact: Lithium is generally used as a mood stabilizer, not an anti-psychotic. Although in cases of extreme mania, hallucinations can occur. But, uh, I don't think that's what they were going for.
All right, now we've finally cured Lucia. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that line above only triggers in that specific window... I think. Some of lines I know do appear at other times, but some of them I'm not sure.
: I'd love to, but sorry. I don't kiss girls with big, nasty cold-sores. Just a little rule of mine. Keeps me outta trouble.
See? This is an educational game.
: These? Oh, they're called dice. I use them to create money, little lady.
: Create money? Bah! Make it disappear is closer to the real story...
Like I said, educational!
: I'll keep giving vague answers to everyone that asks about you... at least until my debt's paid.
In case you needed an explanation on why the mayor was so unhelpful... but I'm just glad he didn't make us pay the first time.
: We, uh, we were just leavin'. Nice talkin' to ya...
: Well, geez! Sure, go ahead! ...just blow me off. Lousy brats...
I'm not sure why why we're supposed to be scared of Leo. His people are idiots.
: There's gotta be some way I can get relief... If I can't stop the burning, I'll find a distraction. I've got it! I'll gamble! Yeah, that takes concentration... perfect!
: You're hopping around like a baboon and you're going to concentrate? Yeah, right.
Or... you could change your shorts? Or are you shy because there are others there?
: These other kooks followed me home... I couldn't believe it!
You could... ask them to leave?
: Well, I can't get rid of it for you. But 9 out of 10 doctors recommend soup. Hot soup... chicken, if ya got it. Won't heal you, but you'll feel better!
I had to resist to urge to just fill this whole thing up with nothing but smart ass remarks from Ronfar. He has a few.
Time warp! Now we're jumping ahead to when Lucia was wandering around, watching people pee apparently.
: But most are heathen pigs who will wither in the hot fires of Althena's fury. At least, I'm pretty sure they will...
It makes me wonder... I don't know if the Lunar series really have a complete theology with a concept of the after-life. There really isn't a concept of hell or heaven in this series.
: But, she still thinks I just want to be friends. Well dammit! I want more! I can't begin to express the depth of my love for Martha. She is the desert rose that gives hope to the parched wasteland of my heart. The... the ying in my yang. The only one I'll ever love!
Well, you wanted romance novel, lady, here you go!
: But, he's just a poor street vendor. If he does, I don't know what I'll do... What should I do? Should I give up on my dream or hold out for what may never come? I'm so confused! Why is it that it never works like this in fairy tales...
You can't help it if it's a shitty romance novel.
: What idiot would want to marry her? ... ...uh, that's just between you and me, okay?
Time warp again to after you meet up with Lucia and she made it over to Dalton to get captured.
: I think maybe I'll start a chapter of unrealistic gamblers anonymous. Let's make this our first meeting. I'll start. Okay... my name is Muerte, and I'm a gamblaholic. Pity me, and return my losses.
: Oh no! You're not draggin' us into this mess! C'ya, ya big retarded lug.
: Wah ha ha! Sorry, old guy! I ain't fallin' for that trick! It's the oldest trick in my book. Nope, I ain't bitin', chumpy. The house is still mine, fair and square!
"Now I'm leaving Larpa and I'm not going to be in said house for a long time... don't do anything while I'm gone!"
: Drop those dice and work your magic on me, baby.
: I was thinking of attending Mave del Blotto's cash flow seminar this weekend. He promises to give away the secrets of wealth for only 299 stinking silver!
I have no idea if Mave del Blotto is a pop-culture reference or not. It's probably a twist on some actual person's name, but hell if I know who. I know that "Mave del Blotto" turns up nothing on Google.
: I'll never forgive you!
: Hey, there... whoa! I didn't put the words in your mouth or the cards in your hand. Face it! It's nobody's fault but your own, buddy.
Social... commentary? Or Ronfar just being a dick. You decide!
: Teach me! Then ledds play house!
: Uh, hehe, I don't think that's such a good idea, little... uh... lady.
: Whew! Let's get out of here before they try to marry her off again!
No, no, we should let them marry her off to Hiro, have her join us, and recreate a really, really strange version of Dragon Quest 5!
: It's really starting to get on my nerves. I can't stop thinking about twisting their pointy little heads off... That's just not like me...
I feel the same way at my job- oh, wait, that was "culties." My bad.
That's it for Larpa; we're probably not going to see it for a long time. Next time, we'll be heading to Dalton.