The Let's Play Archive

Monster Rancher

by Mr. Swoon

Part 78: Fuckin' dragons

Now we'll do some training for real. First we'll--


Prick. Anyway, we'll start off with some friendly circus antics.

I'm considering changing his name to Pennywise. If he's going to lure children into the sewers, he needs to be faster. This means more waterfall time.

You got it!

Francis' trip was wholly uneventful. He stood in place for one solid month, letting the water overtake him. This had some sort of effect on him. Have you ever seen Carrie? It was like that, but with less pig's blood and teenage girls. Basically, the water drove him into obtaining psychic powers.

Please remember that it is against FIMBA regulations to use psychic monsters for anything unrelated to combat. This includes but is not limited to: fortune telling, picking winning lottery tickets, predicting catastrophic global events, and telling children the exact time when they will die.

He didn't say anything about writing notes to children telling them when they'll die.

I think that was actually implied when he said-

Too late! I already sent Frank out to deliver them.

Why did I get one?

The real question you should ask is "Should I read it?".

Oh my God...

This is a good a time as any to take Frank out training.

This week, Francis made a sand angel. It was very sweet.

He did not learn any new attacks, though.

Then you're not trying hard enough. Back to the circus with you!

Alright. Let's try another training session.

Your monster made a very enjoyable light show, but did not learn any new skills.

You FUCKER! I am going to beat you and Holly until you're quivering heaps!

Please! God! Stop! There's someone at the door...

Answer it. And be happy. Whoever is at the door's life depends on it.

Here you go!

Are you okay, miss?

Just fine! No need to call the police! Please go!

Allll right then! You have yourself a great day.

Huh? If it's good news, I'll stop beating you.

I think it is!

An Invitational fight? Is this one of those dealies I have to win before I'm officially the best in the world?

No, this is a completely different Invitational.

No need to be sarcastic.

I wasn't. This really is a totally different fight.

...Oh. Well then, I suppose we'd better get prepared for it.

It's a fan letter! You... you don't have to beat me this week.

Ha ha! Good one. Now hand it over.

What did she mean by "Last match with her husband"?

Fight Club?

It was a bar fight.

I got drunk and beat up some people in a restaurant.


It was Denny's...

I'd make a comment, but it's time for the Invitational.

You bet. So just who is Francis facing? Is it another retarded suezo?

According to the card, he's facing Megiras the Soul Reaver.

Jesus Christ!



In a bizarre stroke of luck, the dragon's fire breath took out the stadium's foundation, literally bringing the house down on top of it. I pulled Francis' charred body out of the rubble in time for him to be declared the victor.

I also yanked off the dragon's horn before we ran for the ER.

It's very pretty, and will probably make a dragon if you play around with fusing lizards and snakes together. But that sounds like too much effort. Plus, I'd rather not have my house burned down.

So now we have to get back to training Frank, once he gets out of the burn ward.