The Let's Play Archive

Monster Rancher

by Mr. Swoon

Part 79: Desert robots!

Off to deliver the mails, you.

Hello again.

I thought I told you to fuck off! Holly, take off my belt.

I'm not going anywhere near your belt.

Then get me my nailgun.

Wait! Wait! I don't want to take you to the arctic this time! Honest! This time, I want to go to the desert in Reno.

Oh. Ok then. Let's get rollin'.

You know it. Come on, Francis! Time to make like Gunga Din.

Yeah, we're pretty awesome.

Yes! To the ruins!

Walk around it, you pussy.

I'll do no such th- oh wait, did you bring your nailgun?

You betcha.

Looks like we'll walk around that sandstorm after all.

This is the first I've heard about it.

How could you have not heard of the great war? There was a great uprising amongst the monsters. Millions died in the endless conflicts.

Then what happened?

Um... Then we won and domesticated the monsters. Moving on!

I think Francis found something.

That's right. This is a clay replica of a Henger.

A what?

Henger. They're robot monsters humans created during The War.

And why don't we still have them?

They were fueled by consuming human flesh.

All the more reason to get one. Let's see if we can't dig up more parts.

How can you tell?

I'm standing in fossilized monster droppings.

We know, Holly. We were just dis- hold on. Where did Francis find that?

Over in the corner of that pen. It was buried under some... EW!

You're carrying it home, Holly.

So about those Henger parts... the clean ones, anyway.


I think we might be able to reassemble a fully-functional Henger at some point. We'll just need to find some arms, and a head. The head will be easy enough; there's a tournament that offers Henger heads as a grand prize.

But how do we actually put the parts together?

Oh, we'll worry about that later. You just worry about winning that head. I'll be back a little later to bug you into taking another Reno trip for the arms in a few months!

In the meantime, we have a lot of junk to sell off. You know what this means, Holly?

I get to buy a second pair of clothes?

Ha ha ha, oh you kidder. Of course not. It means we get to send Frankie training.

I know it's tradition by now to sing a motivational song when they train on this course, but I just don't feel like it.

Despite my lack of singing, he learned a new boxing move.

I kind of regret focusing on his brains and skill so much. Oh well! Can't turn back now.

Francis' aura thing set some trees on fire this week. Everybody cheered.

The cheers of the staff pushed Francis into learning how to kick things harder. I don't know, I stopped trying to reason with how monsters learn moves after your doodle thing.

My monster knows kung-fu, can rock out, and carries a machine gun. Hell. Fucking. Yeah. This calls for a celebration. Holly, go get me some of my special champagne.

Mouthwash and 7-Up. Got it!

Hi Holly.

Hi Mario! What's new?

I've decided to open up a little side business by filling out fake prescriptions.

Want some vicodin?

I'll, um... I'll think about it. Just get me the usual and some birthday cake.

Why did you buy a cake...?

Oh fucking hell.

I don't want to!

I said SING!

Aww, he's doing his crab impression.

And he's not too bad in the stats department, either. We could probably start making him fight in A Rank matches pretty soon.

I suppose. But don't forget that Karn has been peeking in our window for the last week.


Ugh. So, we have to decide whether to fight, train, or explore.