The Let's Play Archive


by The Dark Id

Part 109: Episode CII: Kalil

Episode CII: Kalil

"And so Sunshine had a little Shade driven hissy fit and went apeshit on her dopey pals. It was all very amusing. But, you already know this story. So let's just cover the basics, eh?"

"We have to save Kainé! Also, I'M A CARTOON SKELETON!!! WAAAAAAH!!!"
"I've gotta idea!"
"I'm gonna beat the crap outta her until she simmers down!"

And that plan somehow worked... Don't ask me. I dunno!

"Friend! Friend! Friend! Friend! Friend! Friend! Friend! Friend! Friend! Friend! Friend! Friend! Friend! Friend! Friend! FRIEND!"
"Alright, alright... Shuddup! Goddamn..."
"Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry-bones!"

"It's an elevator leading to the final dungeon. And a part of key to the elevator. Why would they leave this here...? Where does it even fit? I'm too dense to ask any of these basic questions. Lemme go ask the redhead if she's not too busy polishing the idol to the boss I just killed."
"Hmm...there seems to be some manner of note attached..."
"What's it say?"
"I can translate very little of the text. It appears to say... 'Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho.'"

So everyone shuffled back to the android chick for advice...

"Here. Lemme sketch a full, 100% accurate engraving of what the rest of the missing keys both look like and their titles vaguely corresponding to easy to recognize locations across the region. Just a moment."

"There we are!"
(Hmm... I wonder how she managed to pull that one off in about under a minute... Should I ask her...? Naw... She's my FRIEND!!)
"Thanks Popola!"
"Go knock 'em dead!"

"And then Whatshisface and the rest all shuffled on over to that robot filled shithole for the next part of their little wild goose chase. Don't get me wrong, I like explosions as much as the next guy. But feh... Robots... Where's the fun in killin' machines? Oil ain't no substitute for good ol' fashion bloodshed. Keh heh heh! So enjoy the next part..."

Some time ago...

Music: Shadowlord ~ Memory

"Damn! Where'd they go!?"
"Get 'em! Don't let 'em escape!"

"Are we gonna die, Mom?"

"My child..."
"There's somethin' over there!"
"You're almost grown up now, my child. Stay strong."

"You must run now. Do you understand? Run as fast as you can."
"What about you?"
"I'll challenge them. That will give you time to escape."

"No! No, you can't!"
"Be safe, my child. Be safe and happy. Promise me that you will remember your mother."

The Shade mother runs off in the direction of the humans yelling...

"Mom? Mom! Wait! Let's go together!"

The Shade runs off...

"Mom! No! Don't leave me!" <sobs>


It seems not even Shades are exempt from Cavia's hatred of children. What? Did you think they were some kinda misery racists?

The door ahead of the Shade child slides open and a P-33 Droid lumbers into the chamber...

"I'm...I'm Kalil. What's your name?"
"Military Defense Robot P-33. You are an intruder. You must be eliminated."

The P-33 stops in front of Kalil and looks him over...

"I'm crying, you big dumb robot! I miss my mom."
"What is crying? Who is Mom?"
"It doesn't matter. I can't see her ever again, because she's dead."
"My creator is also dead. He perished hundreds of years ago."
"Hundreds of years ago? Really?"
"874 years, 10 months, 14 days, 4 hours, and 43 minutes. ...44 minutes."
"Aren't you lonely?"
"I am incapable of being lonely. Or missing others. Or crying."
"I'm crying because I don't want to die."
"You...will die?"
"If the humans catch me, they're gonna kill me."
"Why...will they kill you?"
*Sniff* "Waaaaaaah!!"

P-33 pauses for several seconds before speaking again...

"Military Defense Robot P-33 will protect you."
"You're gonna help me?"
"P-33 is charged with defending others. P-33 will defend Kalil."
"Oh, hooray! Thanks, robot! And since we're friends now, I'm gonna call you Beepy!"

Four years ago...

"There's got to be tons of machinery here!"
"Yeah, but I don't know how much we can actually use."

"Oh, wow! Check this out! It looks brand-new!"
"Hey, be careful there!"

A robotic foot slowly bangs into frame behind the brothers...

Gideon, being a moron like most children, haphazardly skips over some loose debris in the derelict factory...

...We already know where this story ends.

"Oh, no!"

"Look out!"

Jakob makes a heroic diving save to rescue his little brother from the collapsing roof. Give that kid a hand.

Gideon makes it out of the wreck with only a few bruises and some skinned knees thanks to his elder sibling's noble deed.

Jakob for his trouble, of course, got crushed like a bug beneath the rubble instead. Cavia's hatred of children status: STRONG!

"Jakob? Jakob, no! No, this can't be happening..."

......Cavia's hatred of children status upgraded to: EXCEPTIONAL!

Pictured: Horrific mental scarring of a 12 year old...

Pictured: "Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

Pictured: A curious robot that has not a damn thing to do with this tragic scene.

Pictured: A boy who is going to grow up to be a vengeful, murderous, mentally unstable man that a burly schmuck will happily play along with since he's the only decent blacksmith in the area.

"The noise of the intruders caused the structure to fail. They should have proceeded with more caution. One intruder has perished."
"Oh, that's terrible. I don't think they were chasing me. They seemed nice."

A Boy and his Robot
(You should probably watch this!)