The Let's Play Archive

Parasite Eve

by Mr. Swoon

Part 17: Day 5.9: Femmes Fatales

Day 5.9: Femmes Fatales

Welcome back. When we last saw Aya, she was chasing after a giant walking hunk of human ooze before being summoned by the Navy.

Admiral: I'm Williams, I command this ship. Sorry to have you come on such short notice.

Danny: Hey! You better not put Aya in danger here!

Captain: You! Who do you think you are, talking to the Admiral that way!

Williams: It's quite all right, Lynch... After all, he is right...

Maeda: What...? What do you mean?

Williams: You're the only one that can't be ignited by her... I'm asking you to get in our chopper and nuke the creature.

Danny: Hold on! Aya can't fly a helicopter!

Lynch: Not to worry. The chopper's been set to auto. She won't have any problems.

Maeda: S, so she just needs to fire from a distance, where she can't be ignited...?

Lynch: Unfortunately the weapon needs to be fired at close range in order to work... And we cannot move in that close since WE will be ignited...

Aya: Well... I'll do it...!

Danny: Aya! NO WAY! You're not goin' UP THERE!!

Williams: Our fate lies in your hands, Aya...

God damn it, not another useless item! No more! I don't want it! Danny, help!


Aya takes flight

Insert your favourite Nu Metal and/or Jock Jam song here

This was such a bad career choice. I didn't want to be a giant fleshy monster. I wanted to be a novelist. Stupid temp agency.

Formation 2!

The Navy's brilliant attack strategy

More lemming action

I even had the title picked out for my first book. "March of the Dawn Children". It was going to be a Steampunk Romance.

American Jihad

Now? Nobody will want to publish me! Nobody wants someone whose resume includes "blew up Navy helicopters like suicidal explosive bees".

And health insurance? FORGET IT! There's no coverage listings for a "Sentient Mass Of Human Cells". I'd say it was racist, but I don't even know if I am a race.

Aya lights the fireworks

I suppose I could self-publish. Sell it on the internet. That might wor- oh, fudge.

That was awesome.

I mean, there wasn't even a multi-stage boss fight

She has hands growing out of her head. I think I almost miss the cluster-breasted pregnant Eve.

Oh no you don't! You're not giving me anymore useless shit EVER!


Aya goes in

[A-Team theme song goes here]

JESUS CHRIST, EVE! You've gone way past showing off now.

Eve: Hmph... That must be the name of my host... Lemme guess... your SISTER? You HAVE the ability to EVOLVE! Why take the side of a DOOMED species?! I enjoy CAPITALIZING random WORDS!

Aya: Humans aren't doomed. If my mitochondria has the ability to evolve... it'll evolve to get rid of YOU!

Eve: Hahaha... LOVE that sense of humor of yours, girl... Why is it that humans kill? Humans kill other creatures and they even kill their own kind...

Aya: We have OUR reasons. And YOU sure are a good enough reason for us to KILL!

Eve: Hahaha... All organisms have something called a "territory". This territory is guarded from natural enemies. But until now, humans had no such "natural enemy". THAT is what has allowed them to prosper to this point. You beings must think of your prosperity as "history"... But you're WRONG! We mitochondria have lived within the human being... and have ALLOWED you to prosper...

Aya: ...What?

Eve: Hahaha... WE mitochondria have MADE you create the perfect environment for us. Humans have come to rely on civilization and have lost touch with innate physical abilities. Can't you see that it's the perfect scenario?

Aya: What...? Then you're saying that... Humans were kept alive for the mitochondria's sake?!

Eve: Hmph... you humans just served as transportation vehicles for us.

Aya: ...What do you mean?

Eve: Vehicles to transport us to the time the mitochondria would become free again... Hahaha... But you see, the "vehicle" is no longer needed anymore... From now on, the mitochondria will become human beings and will RULE this earth!

Fighty time! Eve starts throwing energy balls at Aya

Follows up with machine gun finger needles.

And some kinda weird grabby thing.

I'm not having any more of that shit. It's time.

Parasite Aya flips out and does a bunch of combos on Eve.


Nekked Eve flies around, tagging me with status effects and generally acting like a dick.

That does it. Every other attack I can pass off as some kind of freakish evolution thing, or mitochondrial energy. But this? A fucking exploding light spear? Even if every single bit of science in this game were true, that would still be physically impossible.

My logic kills Eve.

Eve makes like the wicked witch

Edit: Video was reported and removed for some stupid reason. Try again here. I am never daunted.

Not so pretty now, are ya bitch?

Eve is dead! Aya saved the day! So naturally, something else has to go wrong.

Next time on Parasite Eve: The final final battle.