The Let's Play Archive


by Various

Part 2: All Hell

Chapter 1: All Hell

When we last left the world, it looked something like this:

Let's begin!

As you will well note, the initiative for this round goes to: Verdania

Verdanian forces mounted a daring, stealthy, and amphibious assault on the unsuspecting Neo-Roman forces stationed in North Africa. The operation was a brilliant success, having effectively caught the enemy completely off guard and bringing the Iron Legions victory with a minimum of casualties.

Verdania takes North Africa!

Armed with skis, boots, and plenty of those knit hats with the little tassels, Jargonian forces took to the field of battle to achieve their long-sought goal of conquering the entirely unimportant frozen wastelands of the Northwest Territory.

Smarmadonian forces in the area were only too pleased to surrender, in hopes of being deported to someplace warmer.

Jargonia takes Northwest Territory!

In the East, Neo-Roman forces launched a two-pronged assault on China , attacking from bases in nearby Mongolia and Afghanistan. Although Verdanian forces succeeded in beating back the first wave of attackers, the Iron Legions approaching from the West were able to flank them in the midst of their regrouping.

Neo-Roman forces also moved from India into the Middle East territory, making short work of the Clambodian garrison there.

Neo-Rome takes China and Middle East!

Seeking to solidify their hold on South America, Maudanian forces launched a two-pronged attack on Peru and Argentina. The latter was entirely successfuly, however the former divisions met with a Smarmadonian force, re-enforced in secret, that was twice as strong as had been anticipated, and were repelled.

Maudania takes Argentina!

Leading three new divisions of Clambodian troops in Eastern Africa, Decider Roomforthetuna ordered his forces to launch a full assault on nearby Egypt.

Confronted with the territory's defending force of Verdanian troops, Decider Roomforthetuna raised his saber high in the air and gave the order to his men to charge the enemy.

At this point the entire Clambodian army, still working off the effects of their drunken hash-hookah orgy the night before, leapt to their feet and, with a mighty cry, charged as one disorganized mass in precisely the wrong direction, down a steep embankment, and into the Nile River.

As those who were not immediately swept downstream struggled to keep from drowning, many of their comrades leapt into the rushing waters to save them, forgetting to first remove their rucksacks and other cumbersome equipment.

The few remaining Clambodians, working to pull the remains of their inept comrades from the river, were too distracted to properly hydrate in the heat of the African sun, and thus suffered badly from heat exhaustion.

Verdanian forces reported at least 4 wounded and 1 dead from hysterical laughter.

(if you're curious, the defenders beat you out by rolling a 6 on the first turn, a 4 on the second, and on the third it was a 2 to 2 tie. My condolences.)

Glorious Leader Smarms, in what seemed very suspiciously like a drunken rant, ordered his shoeless armies across Australia to seize the eastern territories and help him find the pocket watch he was just sure he'd left there by accident.

Clambodians in the region, long-suspicious of the Dear Leader's intentions, were well prepared to fight their attackers off.

The status of the watch could not be confirmed, and is at this time listed as 'MIA'


Maudania seems to be making progress in South America, but fell short of the success they'd hoped for. After significant engagements on both continents, Africa and Australia seem to be almost right back where they started, with the exception of a sizable new force of Verdanians in North Africa. In Asia, Neo-Roman forces have succeeded in consolidating their regional control considerably, but also face enemies on all sides.

What will happen next? Stay Tuned!