The Let's Play Archive


by Various

Part 11: Hopeless

Chapter 10: Hopeless

Everyone's favorite evil empire has something to say:

Neo Rome claims 15 bonus armies!

Hm, clearly General Ironicus is doing well for himself.

The armies are placed:

Initiative goes to:

Hm, this seems to be something of a trend.

Oh come on guys, I've got shit to do!

Oh thank heavens!

The Smarmadonians were immobile, having taken to their muddy tunnels and filthy hovels to weep at the loss of their Glorious Leader.

Although strong in numbers, they lacked the coordination to mount any meaningful offense.

Hemmed in on all sides, Chief Medibot could not calculate any front on which he was capable of engaging the enemy effectively.

Jargonian forces hunkered down, and braced themselves for the coming storm.

Determined to crush his enemies once and for all, General Ironicus ordered his forces to attack at all costs.

Moving from Peru, his forces marched through Venezuela with ease, and crossed through the narrow land bridge into Central America, still well worn from the ill-fated Verdanian Crusade of long ago.

There they slammed into a wall of Jargonian resistance. Though smaller in number, they were well fortified and determined not to give an inch of ground.

Once again the great Mexican meat grinder went to work, as time and again the Iron Legions' assaults were beaten back.

Though weakened, the Jargonians held their ground.

Ironicus formed a massive army in Scandinavia in the hopes of crushing the remaining Smarmadonian forces that sought to defy him in Europe.

Advancing to Britain, he found the Red Army defenders well entrenched and prepared to fight to the death rather than see the Neo-Romans take one drink from their still sizable rum reserves.

The fighting was fierce, but in the end the Smarmadonians, critically hampered with splitting headaches from their improper hydration, gave way to the invaders superior numbers.

Continuing their march, the Iron Legions crossed the English Channel and launched an assault on the last remaining Smarmadonian fort in the world, The Citadel.

However, with their supply lines stretched thin and clogged with barrels of unhelpful yet delicious rum, the Iron Legions lost their edge in Europe, and were beaten back by the startlingly tenacious Red Army resistance, bringing the whole of their campaign to a halt.

Unlike their braver counterparts in the south, the Jargonians defending the taiga belt of North America were lazy and stupid.

The Iron Legion stomped their way from Alaska to Greenland with little effort.

Neo-Rome takes Venezuela, Great Britain, Alberta, Northwest Territory, Ontario, and Greenland!


Everyone's worst nightmares seem to be coming true. Well, almost everyone's. The Iron Legions have tightened their grip on the Jargonian sanctuary of North America, and cut the Smarmadonian state in half. But General Ironicus' failed to achieve his goal ending the war swiftly. Will he succeed next time, or will the surviving resistance hold out?

I can only imagine how tingly you all are in anticipation!

Risk cards are now worth 20 armies!