The Let's Play Archive


by Various

Part 19: Campaigns

Pinchy and Sebzilla have a secret to share...

Vynnland and Greater Somerset both claim 4 armies!

And put them to good use:

Initiative shall be the dominion of...

Kamigonia! Knock 'em dead!

Not content with mere domination of the world's fjords, Most Peaceful Slaan sailed his hearty troops out of Scandinavia with designs on taking nearby Iceland.

Unfortunately, in the course of seizing the Scandinavian territories from the Lusitanians, the Kamigonian army had inadvertently managed to shoot, stab, burn, or pillory every source of seafaring knowledge in the region, leaving them with nothing with which to navigate the North Sea save a rusty compass and a crude sea chart drawn in crayon by a homeless man in Oslo in exchange for a tankard of ale and some spare change.

And so it was that Slaan's men became the first Kamigonians to arrive at the North Pole.

Iceland, however, remained in enemy hands.

Meanwhile, moving from Northern Europe, Most Peaceful Slaan led a comparatively limited force in a risky move east to seize Ukraine and Southern Europe from enemy hands.

Through extensive use of cursed monkey paws, the operations were a complete success.

Kamigonia takes Ukraine and Southern Europe!

From Venezuela, League of Nations troops marched north to Central America to put down a drunken and completely unintelligible Wurzellian contingent there.

In the north, League peacekeepers were deployed from Alaska across the Bering strait to take control of Kamchatka from the marauding Lusitanians.

Unfortunately, due to a bureaucratic oversight, the resolution authorizing the incursion into the territory did not expressly authorize League forces to actually fire their weapons.

The remaining division was forced to retreat back across the sea.

League of Nations takes Central America!

Utilizing a force of specially trained howler monkeys for scouts, a lone division of Lusitanian troops slipped silently across the border from Siam to conquer India.

Just to the west, a force of two Lusitanian divisions moving from Afghanistan into neighboring Ural found itself stopped cold by the Wurzelian commander, himself having ordered the repair and fortified expansion of what was now a magnificent towering ice castle in the region.

Lusitania takes India!

Steaming with rage, Herr Zwiebel again bid his armies advance upon the Lusitanian stronghold of the Eastern US.

No quarter was given, as the rusty, clanking divisions raced full speed ahead towards the defenders' positions with orders to stop at nothing until victory had been achieved.

Within minutes of the battle's beginning, Lusitanian sharpshooters found their targets at too close a range to engage effectively, and their lines were soon overrun.

Hissing and spurting billowing clouds of steam, Brazen steam tanks criss-crossed the enemy lines, firing wildly in all directions, chasing fleeing defenders to their exhaustion, and savagely crushing Lusitanian troops' frail and broken bodies beneath their massive and powerful treads of steel and vengeance with a satisfying, sickening crunch.

Urged on by their commander's hysterical demands, Brazen forces advanced further south to seize the valuable tostada fields of Central America.

Brazen intelligence, however, failed to anticipate the presence of a superior force of League peacekeepers now in the region.

Their defeat was swift, and punishing.

Brazen takes Eastern US!

With the foisting of a mass of questionable financial securities upon the unsuspecting market, Vynncorp was able to increase its reserves by a considerable margin.

From East Africa, Chairman Pinchy moved with a force of 6 divisions to fulfill his FY 1925 projections of complete control over the African continent.

For the next 3 months, senior staff at Vynncorp headquarters would labor around the clock thinking of new and innovative ways to exploit the impoverished indigenous peoples now under their control to produce overpriced jeans and a remote control that beeps so you can find it.

Vynnland takes Madagascar, South Africa, and Congo!

Fed up with sodding shite up with which he would not put, Grand Wurzel Sebzilla called on all able bodied Wurzels to join him uniting Australia once and for all under the banner of Greater Somerset.

In a stunning campaign across the continent, Sebzilla's men prevailed over the weak and divided foreign forces within the region, moving all the way into Siam before halting for an exceedingly lengthy, and often tragically pants-less, display of open gloating.

Somerset takes Western Australia, Indonesia, and Siam!


Risk cards are now worth 6 armies!

To be continued...